Well, Damn

Well, Damn
Sophie

The days snuck up on us like a ghost in the night, and they were full of pain, tears, and many- MANY obstacles.

I worked overtime to finish all my missed assignments and turned them in before Christmas break came during the nights. But the days were torture for us. We worried if mom would collapse again while dad had to be away in the vineyard, and us attending school.

There were times when I'd run home and find her crouched down in pain, holding her left breast, which was where the lumps of cancer had been detected. I felt so stupid, not knowing what to do. I'd go in panic mode, and cry along with her. It's as if cancer had waited for the news to get out to hit her harder.

Dad hit me with the news that he had turned in my packet for the trip to Barcelona, but I refuse to go. How could I go under these circumstances? He had to be out of his mind! I refuse, and I repeat, I refuse to go on that trip this year.

I want to stay back and be with mom. I don't want to move from her side. It's torture enough to be at school for so long. I need to learn to control myself and have a level head, to learn how to help her, and to know what to do when she needs help.

What if she faints again and there is no one to help her? I need to take all the necessary precautions.

I can't help but call her at least twice in the day to check up on her. Sometimes she laughs and says she's ok, but others, I know she's trying to force her voice. That's when I know she's feeling tired and weak.

Aaron and Jason took the news pretty hard as well. Especially our little brother, Jason. He took it pretty hard and has been sleeping in mom's bed every night. He cries when he sees her getting tired or when she has to stop to catch a break because of her dizziness or a nauseous episode.

Today is the last day of school before we go off to Christmas break and begin our winter break.

I never thought I'd say this- but, I hate being in school.

I have avoided everyone at all costs. I leave soon as each bell rings to avoid Logan talking to me, and I make sure to sit far away from him. I know everyone has noticed it's over between us. I can feel their stares of pity and hate, depending on who looks of course.

Amber and her crew of Barbies waste no time instigating and throwing their latest remarks of hate towards me. They make sure they know I am on their hate list, and they despise me. But, honestly? I can care less.

Tonight, the football team has a big game against Ridley High, our school's biggest rival. They will be playing for the last game of the semifinals for our entire county. If they win, our school might be going to the state championship playoffs.

I heard from a new friend, Blair that they almost lost the game two weeks ago. They came back and won by a single point, due to the last kick-off that Sam took.

I have no intentions of attending either. Mom is due for a meeting with her doctor in New York. For the first time, I will be traveling with her, and dad will be staying with the boys.

The bell to the last class finally sounds off, and I quickly grab my bag and leave, not hesitating one extra second to be in this wretched school. I need to get home, and I need to get home now.

I spent all night gathering my bag, and soon as I get home, I will be driving to the airport with mom to go to New York for the next three days.

"Sophie, wait," Troy calls out, but I keep walking towards the school's exit.

"Sophie!" He yells out my name again making my irritation increase. I turn angrily " What? Troy, I have to go. Can we not do this right now, please?" I ask him staring at him with my eyebrows furrowed.

"Why do you keep avoiding me? I'm just trying to be there for you. Look," He says looking around and getting closer to me.

"I know the news of your mom hit you hard. But you can't keep avoiding me forever Soph. You're my best friend, Soph. I need you." He says in a low voice. I roll my eyes at his statement.

"You need me? Are you serious right now? God!" I say, nodding towards the heavens and chuckling sarcastically.

"I have to go, Troy. I'll see you whenever I get back."

"Wait, what? Where are you going?" He calls out as I begin to speed-walk past the many passing students. I look back over my shoulder and wave him off, "I gotta go, bye." I yell out, leaving him dumbfounded as he clutches his bag and rubs the back of his neck.

I quickly get in the car that dad handed down to me a few days ago and take off towards the house.

I run upstairs, dad is already interrogating mom, making sure she has everything on her checklist. "Do you have enough pills for the plane in case you get sick?" "Yes, Richie, enough. We have gone through this list over five times. I already checked off everything, now help me close my bag and take it downstairs for me while I grab my purse will you?"

"Ok, ok. Sophie, make sure mom does not skip any meals, ok baby? And when you go see the doctor, make sure to let him know that she was in the hospital a few days ago, he has to know all the symptoms she has been going through, can you do that?" He asks, bewilderment written on his face.

"Ok, dad. I will." I respond.

"I can speak for myself you know? stop worrying about our daughter. She's scared enough as it is. Sophie, I'm fine baby. Your dad is just trying to act overprotective, like ALWAYS. Enough Richie. I'm fine, we'll be fine, ok? Now, let's go, baby. Don't forget your purse, ok?"  



Logan

The game was hectic. We all sat in the locker, sweating and feeling exhausted as we waited for half time to be over.

The coach was yelling at us, we were all playing miserably today. Or at least, I was feeling miserable tonight.

We were still winning, but only by three points. No other team has tailed us this close, but Ridley High was good this year. Real good if you ask me.

I gulped down to ease my dry throat and cleaned my face with a towel. My face felt hot as fuck from all the running and sweat. "I mean it. You guys want that title, then get out there and get it. Grab that bull by the horns, look him in the eye and let 'em know you are not intimidated. Now, who's with me?" Coach Mitchell yells out making everyone cheer with excitement.

"I said, who's with me?" He yells again and everyone erupts in joy, yelling and jumping up and down.

"Now, let's get out there and show them, this wolf pack does not back down. This wolf pack can take them, take them down!" He yells, everyone stands, clashing their chest and helmets against each other as they repeat after him, running out towards the field again.

We all make our way to the field where the cheerleaders are still dancing and the school band is still out in the field performing.

the crowd cheers as they see us back in the field, but what caught my attention was a sign out in the stands. Then I see another, and another, and more all over the place.

"Logan and Sophie forever." "Bring back Logan and Sophie." "We stand for Logan and Sophie together."

"What the fuck?" Carter and some of the boys say as they feel just as clueless as I do. I shrugged it off and continued the game. Though the signs kept playing a big part in making me lose concentration. Even so, we tied but ended winning as the ref took us to kick-offs, making us win by just a few points over.

We jumped in victory, cheering with the crowd as everyone began to descend.

Then my stomach drops as I see Troy come down towards us and directly stop in front of me.

"I, I um." He stutters. His hands begin to shake, and his face turns red as he looks between the crowd and all of us in the team. He glances towards Dylan, and Dylan nods at him, making me furrow my eyebrows in confusion.

"Is this your idea of you trying to get me to forgive and forget? Because it's not going to work. You're just making shit harder between Sophie and me."

"Logan, just. . . . let me talk ok? I know I should have clarified things sooner about what really went on. But, I was a coward. A big coward, and I not only hurt you and Sophie but the real person that I was with. The person." He says glancing at Dylan again, probably to get encouragement from him since they are buddies after all.

I looked towards the stands and saw most of the crowd had already left, including the visiting team."Dude, I don't have time for this," I said as I tried to walk away.

"Logan I'm seeing someone else ok? I asked Sophie to keep it a secret because I wasn't ready to let anyone know. But, it was unfair of me. That person didn't deserve to be kept in the shadows, and all because of my lack of care and my cowardness. I took that person for granted, and didn't give them the attention and place they deserved."

" SO, who is she then? If you're telling me the truth, then who is she? OR does she even exist? " I say frustrated, there was not one word I believed about him. Not until I saw him with the other girl with my own eyes.

"Him, Logan." He whispered, making me ponder on his response.

"W-What do you mean him? Are you with this stupid act again about you being gay? Unbelievable." I rolled my eyes, tossing my helmet partially in the air.

"Then who? WHo's your so-called boyfriend T? PLease, clarify this for -" I said, getting cut off by Dylan.

"Me. It's me, Logan. I'm the boyfriend, ok?" He said walking towards Troy and grabbing him by his waist. My jaw dropped as they exchanged a heated kiss in front of all of us. I felt so stupid.

Sophie had told me the truth. She never lied to me, and she never cheated on me.

I cleared my throat and rubbed the back of my neck in awkwardness.

"I'm sorry. I know I took forever to let him know, I was just so scared. I'm sorry Dylan." He whispered to him, completely ignoring my presence.

"I know silly. You don't have to apologize to me. I knew you'd figure out how to tell him eventually. But hey, look at the bright side?" Dylan said as he continued to hold him, smiling at Troy.

"What?" Troy asked him, making Dylan glance around.

"You finally came out of the closet. That wasn't so hard, was it?" Dylan chuckled, making Troy Blush in embarrassment.

"Wait, wait, wait a minute. Are you telling me, that, you made him all those hikies on his neck? and on his chest, and-" I said as I thought about whether I should continue with my questions.

"YYYYeeeessss. And his stomach, and places you don't need to know." Dylan answered.

"Dude, too much info. " Steven said making them chuckle.

"Well, fuck. I, I need to talk to Sophie. You-" I said, walking away in reverse and pointing towards them. 

"You two owe me. Big time. Fuck!" I scolded them as I ran towards the lockers and changed quickly.

After I changed, I got in the car and sped off towards Sophie's house, I sent her a message right away and called her, but there was no answer. "Damn it," I yelled out, hitting my steering wheel and calling her again as I waited outside. The lights in her house were all turned off, and all the cars on her driveway were gone. "Where the hell could she be?"



New York city

Sophie

We officially arrived a few hours ago. We checked in to our hotel, called the office, and verified mom's appointment for tomorrow morning.

Mom and I sat down to have a long conversation like we used to. We talked about everything. About Logan, Troy, school, but mainly, we cried. We cried about the situation; the fact she wasn't ready to die, nor I was ready to see her leave. How she wishes to live long enough to see her grandkids, to see us graduating college and start our own families.  Oh, how I wish all these come true.

We decided on ordering room service, watched a few comedy movies to make us forget about the event happening tomorrow, and then somewhere around the third movie, she fell asleep.

This is when I broke down. I cursed and pleaded all at the same time for her to live. I wanted her to get better, and somewhere along the line wished it could be me in her shoes. To feel her pain and take away all of her sicknesses and put it inside of me, but I know it's inevitable.

I walked towards the window and sighed. glancing at the many street lights. So late in the night, and New York was still alive. So many people still walking in the streets, cars passing by, taxi cabs everywhere.

The silence that was causing me pain and sadness was cut off suddenly with the sound of my phone, startling me and making me jump in place.

I went over to the nightstand where my phone lay charging. I picked it up and glanced at the screen. There was a notification saying I had a text from Logan.

I swiped my phone and unlocked it, turning to my texts and opening his message.

"Where are you? We have to talk."

then another text. "Please call me, I have to talk to you now." followed by his call.

But I didn't have the willpower to argue with him over the phone, especially with mom laying just a few feet away. I declined his call, sending him to voicemail.

The notification of a voicemail came soon after, followed by more text messages a few minutes after that, but I didn't want to be bothered right now. I turned my phone off and set the phone back in place.

Tomorrow is a long day, and I need to make sure I stay strong for mom.