Chapter 21 - Closure

Lilith:

Moving toward Cain, I place my hands around his neck and lean my forehead against his.

Cain blows out a breath and mutters, “I can’t let you go.”

“This is how it should have always been, Cain. There’s no happy ending for us,” I wipe my sodden cheek and gaze tearfully into his eyes, “I told you that I wasn’t meant to be happy. But you can be happy. Once you get your redemption, you can do good in the world.”

Cain shakes his head grimly. “I can’t lose you now that I’ve found you,” he whispers.

I give him a watery smile and caress his jaw, “I’m glad you found me. For a little while, I was happier than I’ve ever been. Even when I hated you, I still felt like you brought me back to life.”

Cain kisses me gently, a tear slipping down the corner of his eye as he caresses my pale cheek, “I love you, Lil.”

My smile is brilliant as I gaze tearfully into his eyes and wipe a stray tear from his cheek. My bottom lip quivers when I lean close and whisper, “For as long as I’ve been alive, no one has ever loved me. I didn’t know what love was until after the Tenebrous left my body,” I look at Fallon, who seems to be gazing intently back at me, “I never knew what love was, and now I know,” I whisper to Cain, “I love you too.”

And I mean every word of it. For the short times that we’ve been together, I’ve been happier than I’ve ever been.

Stepping back, I look at Ma’at and say, “I’m ready. I willingly accept the sacrifice.”

As soon as I mutter the words, a current rushes over me.

Before Ma’at can reply, Lucifer moves toward me and places his hand on my shoulder. To my surprise, he mutters, “I’m so sorry, Lilith. I judged you harshly though you never gave me a reason to. I should have listened to you when you tried to explain.”

I shake my head and place my hand on his forearm consolingly, “It’s alright, Lucifer. I forgave you the moment it happened. I couldn’t blame you for thinking the obvious. It’s not like I have a sparkling past. Please, just…if you can forgive me.” I croak out, my voice becoming heavy with emotions.

Lucifer shakes his head, “There’s nothing to forgive. I just wish things had turned out different for you. You deserve to be happy too.”

I tighten my lips and give him a tearful nod, “You know what, Lucifer? It’s alright. I’m ready to find that elusive peace in the afterlife. Just…” I look back at Fallon and swallow hard when I see that he’s looking away, “Take care of our son.”

Cain grips my hand tightly, his eyes moving between us as he listens to our interaction.

Ma’at moves close to Cain and extends her hand, “Give me the arrow, Cain.”

When Cain hesitates, I nudge his shoulder and whisper, “Please, just give her the arrow…please.”

Jaw tight, he produces the arrow and hands it to Ma’at. The arrow’s glow seems to have grown brighter. It’s almost blinding.

Cain clings to my hand when I try to slip my hand from his, “You have to let me go,” I sob.

He shakes his head but reluctantly releases me when Ma’at pulls me away from him and leads me back to the cage. Trying to calm my nerves, I look around the luxurious throne room with its gold floors and walls. It’s definitely not the kind of place that I imagined when I thought of my last day on earth.

“Wait!” Lucifer calls out, making everyone turn to face him, “Should you do this here? Doesn’t she have to be near the power?”

Ma’at shakes her head, “No, once Lilith…passes, the power will be absorbed into the arrow.”

Cain covers his lips with his hands and takes an anxious step forward.

Ma’at must see his move because she waves her hand around the males and freezes them in place, “I apologize, but I cannot risk your interference.”

My chest heaves, and my body grows cold as I observe Ma’at notch the arrow. “I’m sorry, Fallon,” I call out to my son, “I’m sorry, I couldn’t be the mother you needed. But you will be a great father. I know it.”

Fallon’s light eyes meet mine. He seems to be in turmoil as he shifts in place and carefully nods. He might not be telling me that he forgives me, but his nod is enough for me. “Be happy,” I mutter as I hear the arrow whoosh toward me, “I love you,”

I do not feel it when the arrow hits my heart. I don’t feel it when I fall on my back or when the fiery fire of the Tenebrous’ power flows into the room and surrounds me like a blanket.

As everything inside of me fractures until all that’s left is light, past memories rush through me like a film. I remember Adam’s harsh words when he rejected me and the slap in the face he gave me when I argued. I remember how the Creator cast me out of Eden and left me to die.

The memories continue as I take my last breaths. I don’t even notice that I’m in my lover’s arms. Or that Cain is wiping blood from my lips helplessly.

My thoughts are set firmly in the past. All of the beatings and rapes that I suffered, which were countless, continue to quickly sift through my memories until old memories of Fallon replace them. I watch my son from afar in those memories and see how I tried to control my anger around him. How I agonized when I hurt him but couldn’t release myself from the Tenebrous’ hold long enough to love my son. I observe as I cut my skin and repentantly punished myself so I wouldn’t hurt Fallon. How I begged my servants to take him away before I harmed him. When I could temporarily gain control and separate myself from the Tenebrous, I’d think about how I longed to hold him. I knew then that I had to teach him how to fight and be strong. I needed him to be able to defend himself from everyone, including me. The scenery changes again, and I find myself following my son and watching him from a distance with a wistful smile. The next moment I’m looking into Cain’s eyes and observing how I fell more in love with him every time we were together.

I try to will the happy memories to continue, but eventually, my vision dims, and my soul leaves my body. Hopefully, now I will find true peace.