Lilith
We drove in one of Eric’s generic cars if you ask me. “Okay so back to the topic of you and your relationship?” Juliet said. I glanced from the road to her. I was speeding but it was not outrageous despite Kali screaming to go faster. I didn’t want to do that with Juliet in the car. If some freak thing happened, she would not fare as well with injuries as myself or even full shifters would. Eventually my wolf shut up.
“Do you worry about the future?” I scrunched up my face. “Like, when you go to college how are you going to make it work?” I bit my lip and then answered. “Juliet, you know very well I never decided if I was going to college.” She sighed. “Lilith it would be stupid if you didn’t go. You are so so smart, why wouldn't you go, don’t you want a career a good job?” I already had a job; it was called being Luna of a pack. Not, that I was going to tell Juliet that. “Maybe I will just do college online.” I said hoping that would soothe my friend.
“But don’t you want the whole experience?” She asked. I now made a face. “Of what underaged drinking, parties, bad sex, and dabbling in drugs, going to random protests that don’t accomplish anything, or maybe it is the mass amount of money to stay in a shitty shoebox dorm that I have to share with a fucking stranger?” I continued. “No, I don’t need that, I already underage drink. I have great sex now, already tried drugs and most suck, I don’t want to go to protests, and I live in a beautiful home. My room is massive, and I don’t have to live with a stranger. Instead, I get to sleep next to a Greek god. So no, the college experience doesn’t do it for me.” Juliet sighed.
“So, what are you going to do with your life after you graduate, get knocked up and live with your boyfriend and do nothing, or are you going to go back to Rob and begin working for him.” I glared at my best friend. I had not told her that I hate talking about him. Juliet didn’t know that we had a falling out. She knew I had seen Bowie, and he was up to him being a complete asshole stalking me when I had been at school. Of course she had seen him there, but Rob. She had not been there when he confronted me in the parking lot. I was glad when Noel came to assist should he need to he had made sure she was not around.
I liked to keep her out of all of that. She had met Rob a few times, but I refused to let her go to the gym. I refused to give most details about what I did for him, other than the small insignificant things I did for him. But I told her about what kind of work he does, that he was a criminal mastermind. I assured her that I would not do a lot of stuff he was a part of. “I plan to stay with Eric, for now to I die, and maybe kids down the line. He is older you know that so I probably will make that a priority in the next few years, but as far as working for that fucking asshole douchebag, I am done with his shit, and I would prefer if you don’t bring him up, or at least say not his fucking name if we must talk about that shit stain.” I said trying to keep my voice steady. But my hands were gripping the steering wheel so tight that my knuckles were turning red.
“Well thank God for that. But you can’t be serious about the other stuff Lilith. You are 18 years old it is naive of you to think you will stay with your second boyfriend you ever had. You are not that stupid, to believe that is going to happen.” Juliet said. I sometimes wish I could just tell her about being a shifter, if I did then she would get the mates thing, and that Eric was not going there. We were in it for the long haul. Maybe then she would understand, not just that but so much more. I wanted to tell her for so long, but I know that was not an option. Not just because Rob told me not to or even Eric’s and the packs stance on it. But I would not drag her into these matters. Knowledge of knowing these things could put her in jeopardy. And on top of all that a small part of me thought she would no longer want to be my best friend, that she may be scarred of me.
“Juliet, I know what I am doing. You have said it many times over, I am smart. I am right about Eric, okay. He is not going anywhere.” Juliet then said “Okay, let's say you do stay with him, get married have kids the whole domestic thing, which I didn’t ever think you wanted considering you never even brought it up as a possibility for your life. I know you Lilith you will get tired of it, you have always been active as long as I have known you. You do sports, and a crap ton of them might I add. You really think you will be okay doing nothing but being a mom? If you get a degree at least you could be working. You could go out into the world and have it all. Be a chemist, or a job in science since you thrive in that and are fucking good at it. You could do so much more with your life than just being a mom. By all means do that to, if you want, but don’t give up on having a life outside of that.”
I looked at her. “Why is my future so much of your concern?” She scoffed. “You are kidding me, right?” She snapped at me. I just raised my eyebrows. “I am your best fucking friend, why would I not care about what happens to you?” I tossed her a small smile. “Lilith I just want you to think about this. Time is running out? You have to get on these things now or your future won’t be what you want. I know you have always been independent; I know that. But you just seem like you are changing. You are relying on a man. You know that is not how to live your life. You have always talked about being self-reliant and you have been that way the whole time I have known you.”
My teeth clenched. My anger building. “Juliet, you have no fucking idea the shit I have had to go through. You don’t know why I pushed that. I don’t have parents to rely on. I have been on my own since I was born, Missy gave me the bare minimum, okay the fucking bare minimum and only until she deemed me old enough to figure everything out on my own. For once in 18 years, I have someone who is providing for me, and you know what it is fucking nice to have that. Even fuck face, didn’t help with my bills. He only took care of me when I was in foster care and living under his roof, oh and get this the whole time he is grooming me. I am not going to continue to give you my sob story about why I think it is nice that someone is taking care of me for once. As my best friend you should be happy that I am having a life where someone in the world is giving me a 100% their support.”
Juliet was silent for a long time. “You could have talked to me about this, not throw it in my face about how you have been living.” I snapped again at her tone. “And what have a fucking pity party and bring you all my problems, yeah right, we wouldn’t be friends then. I would be your charity case most likely, or you would have found it too much and put distance between us.” I then became quiet. “You think I am like that?” she snapped back. “If this had been our relationship from the beginning it would have happened, and don’t you dare say otherwise. You know it is true, we developed a friendship, if I would have told you in the beginning, or even brought you to my house when you suggested it, that is what would have happened. So don’t sit there and question what I know to be true.” I said.
“You think you are so smart, and you know everything about everyone.” She snapped at me. “Oh, shut up Juliet, you are the one that is deluded, you have great parents, and they are not even divorced like most kids' parents. You live in a massive house and have money whenever you want. You are going to go to a university and your parents are going to pay for it. You have no idea what people turn into when you take that all away. You think being kind and generous is actually the way people are, and I always loved that about you.”
“But now you come at me for wanting those things you had your whole life, like you are some kind of crusader for my life and where it goes. Saying I crave independence, when you don’t even realize I was forced to be that way. Not once during our friendship did, I ever tell you to be more independent. I never said anything like that. You thought that is what I wanted, because you knew I paid for things. You conceived in your mind that I wanted to depend only on myself, I didn’t like it, but I was that way because I had to be. I never once criticized you for having support financially or anything like that.” I then went quiet.
Both of us were pissed off, I couldn’t help but be mad. Where did she get off trying to tell me to live my life the way she thought it should be. Why did she think it was okay to tell me that I should be more independent, by not relying on Eric. I was simply starting to live with the help of someone else. What was so wrong with me doing what she has been doing from the start of her life? She was going to always have supportive parents. They would pay for her school, car, wedding when she got married, her downpayment on her house. I know for a fact she told me they told her that one time. If she was in school, they would pay for her apartment while she was there. Not to mention her trust fun when she turned 25.
I never blamed her or criticized her for her fortunate circumstance. Here she was getting on me about relying on Eric. I was helping with the pack, and I would be doing more than that in the future. We pulled into the parking lot. “You never shared any of this with me Lilith I had no idea all of this was going on. You kept me in the dark, that is not what you do to your best friend.” She snapped. Really, that was her only response. I was over this conversation, and I was just done, she wouldn’t ever get it. Juliet then got out of the car slamming the door. “Go do whatever you want, I am going home.” I rolled my eyes and walked off locking the vehicle behind me, she wants to be like that then whatever.