Chapter 190 193

Chapter 190 193
“Is that what you think?” Adriano asks.

“Come on,” I say. “Do you really see Lucio and me together for the long haul?”

Adriano thinks that through for a moment.

“I’ll be honest,” he says. “In the beginning, I couldn’t. The way you entered each other’s lives was… Let’s go with ‘unconventional.’”

I scoff. “That’s one way to put it.”

Adriano smiles. “My point is, as time went by, I realized that you meant much more to him than even he understood.”

“You’re just saying that.”

“He never just says anything,” Vanessa insists.

“I’m serious,” Adriano says confidently. “He’s willing to go to any lengths to protect you. And after he found out you were working with the Polish—well, he was a mess.”

“He was?”

“In the only way Lucio can be a mess—like a hormonal teenage boy. He became quieter, broodier, more withdrawn. He was certainly angry a lot of the time. But he kept you close. A betrayal like that should have come with serious consequences—the kind you don’t walk away from. But instead, you got this apartment.”

“Which, in case you forgot, was more like a prison cell with twenty-four-hour security,” I remind him.

“He claimed it was because he didn’t trust you. But I think it was because he just wanted to see you.”

“See me?” I ask. “He didn’t see me once in all the weeks I lived here.”

Adriano gives me a small smile. “There were cameras, Charlotte.”

“I told you!” Vanessa crows triumphantly.

“Cameras?” I exclaim. “That’s a complete violation of my privacy!”

“Take it up with the don,” he says. “It wasn’t my call.”

I narrow my eyes at him. “Like you would’ve done anything differently.”

He laughs. “Fair point.”

Vanessa turns to him with sudden suspicion. “Wait—are the cameras still up now?”

Adriano’s innocent naivete is maybe a little too convincing. “I don’t think so.”

“You don’t think so?” she repeats furiously.

The doorbell rings at that exact moment. Adriano jumps up to answer it. “Well, would you look at that? Pizza’s here!”

“Come back here, asshole! I want a straight answer!” Vanessa yells after him.

He ignores her completely and answers the door. He pays the delivery boy and carries in the two large pizza boxes. The aroma of freshly-baked cheese wafts through the small apartment.

My stomach rumbles like a grizzly bear.

Apparently, my appetite is starting to come back.

Adriano rejoins us around the coffee table, but Vanessa hasn’t forgotten the little comment he made a moment earlier.

“Adriano,” she growls in a dangerous voice, “are the cameras still up?”

He grins guiltily at her. “I may have kept one or two up,” he confesses. “For security’s sake.”

“You bastard!” she cries, taking the cushion she’s resting against and flinging it at him.

He catches it easily and laughs. “What?” he asks. “It’s for your own safety.”

“Oh my God… I walk around naked when no one’s here!” she gasps suddenly. She buries her face in her hands and groans.

This time, I burst out laughing, too.

The tension in my chest seems to dissipate slightly. Adriano offers me the box and I snag a hefty piece of pizza. The crust is thin and crispy and the pepperoni has a delicious umami hit.

Pizza can’t solve everything.

But by God, it can try.

“This pizza is sent from the heavens above,” I breathe as I chew. “Crafted by angels. Baked by the gods.”

“Pretty sure that Hell is the place with all the wood-fired ovens,” Adriano jokes. “Not Heaven.”

“Wherever it’s sent from, I’ll take it.”

Vanessa is still on the topic of the cameras. “You’re lucky I’m hungry,” she threatens. “But after dinner, you can bet I’m kicking your ass.”

Adriano doesn’t look too worried. Looks pretty excited, actually.

I have a feeling that “kicking his ass” might morph into something else very quickly.

“Do your worst,” he says.

“And I want those cameras taken down.”

He sighs. “Your wish is my command. Now, can we just have a nice dinner please?” he asks, taking a huge bite of pizza. “We have a guest, after all.”

Vanessa gives him an extra-long glare before she turns her attention back to me.

“Let’s just ignore the jerk,” she snaps. “You were saying?”

“Oh, I can barely remember anymore.”

That’s not entirely true. For one brief, beautiful moment, I forgot about everything else in the world except for the next bite of cheesy deliciousness.

But like all things, sooner or later, it runs out of steam.

And you’re left right back where you started.

“Where’s Lucio now?” she asks.

Through a mouth of cheese and marinara, I mumble, “Out, I think. He didn’t tell me where he was going. We just had the fight and of course he left. Like he always does.”

“You two just need to talk things out,” Vanessa suggests.

“There’s nothing to talk about, Van,” I sigh. “He’s the don, and I’m just—shit, I don’t know what I am. Maybe Sonya was right. Maybe I am just his plaything. A temporary bed-warmer.”

“I don’t think that’s true,” Adriano mumbles through a full mouth, already wolfing down his second slice of pizza. “It’s just that Lucio has never been great with showing his true feelings. I don’t think he likes being that vulnerable. Around anybody.”

“No shit,” I say. “He bosses me around like I’m one of his men.”

“Control is how he shows affection.”

I roll my eyes at Adriano. “What a charming personality quirk.”

He chuckles. “I know it doesn’t make sense, but I’m being serious. In his mind, he thinks controlling you might keep you alive longer. Especially given the shit you got yourself in with Kazimierz. You gotta admit, you’re a little bit of a wild card, Chuck.”

“He saw you cry for days over your ex-boyfriend,” Vanessa adds on sympathetically. “That can’t have been easy on him.”

I take a moment to ponder that.

They have a point.

Sort of.

But why can’t they see that the tears I shed for Xander weren’t like that? He has a place in my heart, of course. He always will.

Just nowhere near as important as the place Lucio occupies.

“I tried to explain to him that just because I was mourning Xander doesn’t mean I still love him.”

“Tell me this: what did you feel when you saw Sonya?” Adriano asks me.

My answer is obvious: “Insecure as fuck.”

“Right. And if Sonya dies tomorrow and Lucio is devastated about it, what would you assume?”

Damn. Truth really does hurt.

The more they talk, the dumber I feel.

I try to protest anyway. But with every passing second, I feel less and less angry. Less and less justified.

Of course, I want Lucio to understand what I’m going through. To be there with me.

His support is so important to me.

I have to meet him halfway, though.

He’s not a mind reader.

And I’m not always an open book.

“Xander and I were horrible together,” I say. “He stayed with me because he knew I would put up with anything and I stayed with him because it was better than being alone. We weren’t in love. I doubt we ever really were.”

“And Lucio?” Vanessa asks. “How do you feel about Lucio?”

I pause.

I’m starting to realize exactly what I feel for Lucio… but it’s hard to get the words out.

And I certainly don’t want Vanessa and Adriano to be the first ones who hear the unvarnished truth about my feelings for the man.

“Is there wine?” I ask abruptly.

“Since when do you drink?” Vanessa asks in amazement.

“Since my life turned into such a mess,” I reply.