CHAPTER 1
JESS
I sat in the kitchen with my two best friends, devouring a pizza that was literally the answer to all of life's problems. I watched them gaze out into my backyard, their eyes glazed over like they were daydreaming things I did not want to know
"This view isn't half bad," Sam said, and I rolled my eyes so hard they almost got stuck
"Listen, your brother Jess..." Laura started, but I was having none of it. I slapped my hands over my ears and closed my eyes, channeling my inner "I'm not listening, I'm not listening."
Laura pulled my hands away
"Stop. Stop right now. I do not want to know what is in your head, especially about my brother," I pleaded with her, shoveling a piece of pizza into her mouth
Laura chewed and laughed at the same time
"T'd like to have something other than this pizza in my mouth..." Sam offered, staring out the window. I groaned loudly and let my head drop on the counter
"Is that why we're having pizza at my house..
again? I thought it was because I'm your best friend, but now I know... You are just using me." I complained
My best friends gave me sheepish grins and shrugged. "We can't help it. You just have a better view than we do," Laura explained
They were right—I did have a good view. I've had a good view since I can remember, but the thing about a view is that - you need to be outside looking in
"Sam, you got something on your face," Laura pointed out, and Sam wiped at her face
"Where?"
"Oh, it was just drool," Laura teased, and I almost choked on my pizza
"Come on, Jess. I get why you don't appreciate your brother — that's obvious. It would be weird if you thought your brother was hot. But what about Tom? Just look at him. Dimples and so many muscles... I could just dip him in chocolate and..." Laura trailed off, staring out the window lazily
"What about Luke? Weren't you guys like best
friends or something?" Sam asked, and I felt my heart sink a little
Outside, Luke was drifting on his back in our pool. He was the very definition of tall, dark, and handsome. Just add some tattoos and a heap of muscles — enough to be a linebacker for our football team — and then a stare that could make your heart stop — that's Luke
I rested my head in my hand and sighed. I watched Luke grow up all my life—once I was on the inside, part of the friendship group. We were all close: Josh, Luke, and me. But then, somewhere along the lines, they started freezing me out. I stopped being invited to things, and finally, I just shrunk away into the background
I tried a few times and asked my brother what they were doing and if I could join, but he kept saying no. It's not for girls. Then, when we got
older, he said it was because he was protecting me. His sister wouldn't be seen at parties or some bullshit like that. Luke just avoided me entirely. They refused to acknowledge me in the hallway or class
I simply stopped existing to them
I watched Luke's body dip beneath the water, and then the top half of his body came up as he dragged his hands through his hair. He could do a Calvin Klein ad if he wanted, and he knew it, too. Luke used to be the quiet type, humble and warm. Now, he's cold, hard, and mean
"Look at her. She wants him." Sam teased, and I snapped out of my memories
"T don't. [hate him. You know I hate him." I said harshly and then stuffed another slice of pizza in my mouth. I chewed on it just as my brother
walked in - oblivious to his effect on my friends
He was dripping wet and half-dressed. I swear, Sam and Laura almost killed over when he reached between them to grab a slice of pizza
"Jess. Order us another pizza, would you?" Josh barked, and I considered throwing him with a slice
"Jess. Order another... bla bla." I mocked him as he left. Sometimes, my brother just had a way of ticking me off
While I was fuming, Laura and Sam were dazzled by his dimples and naked torso hovering between them
"He is so attractive. Like oh my gooooo0ooooo...." Laura groaned, and Sam joined in
"Both of you are about to slip off your chairs
Stop moping after my brother - he's an asshole."
I sent Sam and Laura to my room with the rest of the pizza
I get it, though - I didn't hold it against Laura or Sam. My brother and his friends were infamous in our school. They were bound to be football stars. You'd have to be blind not to want them
They all won the fucking genetic lottery or something. Which I think 1s unfair, considering Josh and I are twins. Not fraternal, but still
Our parents have been friends with Luke's parents for as long as I can remember, and we used to be three best friends. Josh and I are technically twins but not fraternal. We look nothing alike
Josh 1s the sporty, well-built, athletic type. And I... Well, I take after my mother
I like to read and write. I don't do team sports. I prefer to run alone when nobody knows I've slipped out of the house and everything outside is quiet. Being invisible suits me, and I like it that way
College will be my fresh start. I would step outside of the shadows then
Sam and Laura stopped talking the second I walked into my room. I hesitated - something was up
"What?" I asked, hovering in the doorway
Sam was the first one to say something. "So we were thinking... "
"Could you think any faster?" I pressed and sat
down on the carpet next to them
"We were just thinking about college... We want it to be different." Laura said, fidgeting with her hands
bveahirg
"Where is this going?" "We have to lose it this year," Sam said
"Lose what, guys? What are you talking about?" I asked, cocking my head to the side
"Let's make a pact that we lose our v-cards this year, before college..."