Chapter 65 Kept looking, searching..

Chapter 65 Kept looking, searching..
As everyone keeps on fussing over Mo and I, my eyes drift to Noah, who's sticking out like a sore thumb. Hailey is out of town, visiting her parents, she apologised for not attending our graduation.

Looking at my brother, I conclude that things are still not great between them because Noah always tags along when Hailey goes to see her parents.

‘Maybe he couldn't go because it's your graduation.’ Says a voice in my head.

Noah is still staring at his phone when my eyes drift to him for the hundredth time. Or pretending to.

I roll my eyes, walking towards him.

"Congratulations would be nice."

His head snaps up and for a second, I think he is going to ignore me. Instead, he shoves his phone into his pocket.

"I'm proud of you."

The words sound uncomfortable coming from him. Like he had to force them out.

But they were genuine.

"Thanks."

The corner of his mouth twitches. Almost a smile.

Almost.

"Don't let it get to your head." He says, his eyes drifting away.

"There he is." I nod to myself.

"What?"

"The annoying brother I've known my entire life."

A faint chuckle escapes him before he catches himself.

The moment is gone as quickly as it came, neither of us knowing what to say next. It's almost like we're strangers, until Sam appears between us.

"Can you two save the drama for tomorrow? We're celebrating today."

Relief flashes across Noah's face as Sam pulls him away from me and I release a sigh as I watch them sit alongside Mo and Jamie.

………..

As evening approaches my grandparents are the first to leave, my grandma complaining about her knees not being as strong as they used to be. After they leave all the elders start saying their goodbyes too, excusing their early departure on this and that.

With all our parents booked into hotels so we don't need to go with them. We stay behind except for Noah who claims to have an early morning tomorrow.

“Sam looks to be having a good time with Mo, mind dropping him at mine?” Noah asks ready to leave.

“It's okay, he can sleep at mine.”

“What about Liam? I don't think he should sleep at the hotel where he checked in.”

My eyes instantly search for Liam at Noah's words, and it doesn't take long to find him. He's having what looks to be a deep conversation with Hayden.

“Yeah, I think it's best if Sammy slept at yours. We will drop him over later.”

Noah nods and turns to walk out of the restaurant. “Noah.”

“Yeah?” He faces me with a frown.

A smile pulls at my lips. “Thank you for coming.”

He releases a breath and walks back towards me, then he wordlessly pulls me in for a hug. I thought it would be awkward like the small talks we had today, but its familiar and warm.

“Wouldn't miss it for the world.” He mumbles in my hair and gives me a smile as we let go of each other before he walks into the dark streets.

With Noah gone I turn back to look at my friends and boyfriend, not forgetting my little brother and wish she were here with us. I imagine her wearing a glamorous dress she designed, her blonde hair is waves as she laughs at Mo's antics.

Oh Lily.

Each time I think of her these days it's not from grief, but rather fondness. I smile sadly to myself as I look at her brother.

Liam is now standing alone at the far end of the restaurant. Hands shoved into his pockets as he stares at the New York skyline.

For a moment, I considered turning around to give him space, but continue anyway. Liam has been checking up on everyone aand never acknowledged his own pain.

"You're doing that thing again."

He glances back at me. “What thing?"

"Pretending you're okay."

A laugh escapes him. Tired. Broken.

The kind of laugh that wasn't really a laugh at all.

"You make it sound like a hobby." I tell him.

His smile faded. “It kind of is.”

Silence settled between us, the comfortable kind. The kind built over years of friendship.

"I kept looking for her today."

The words were so quiet I almost missed them.

"What?" I ask, facing his way.

"At graduation."

His eyes remained fixed ahead.

"I knew she wasn't going to be there."

My throat tightened at his words.

"But I kept looking anyway."

For the first time all day, neither of us tried to be strong.

"I searched for her too, in the crowd..." Mo says behind us and I wipe a stray tear.

"Her blonde hair curled and all over her face, her make-up covering the freckles across her cheeks." Liam finishes.

Liam opens his arms around us and we hug, silently crying for his lil sister, while I dab at my eyes time and again.

"I miss her so much. For this past month I've been working myself to the bone so I would get home too tired to think about her," Liam confesses as he guides us to the table so we can sit down, but I decline.

"I need to use the bathroom." I tell them.

"Are you okay?" They ask, worried.

I love these two, for l know they always have my back. I feel like all they've been doing these past year was to be there for me. Now it's my time to be there for them because I know they both need to deal with Lily's death instead brushing their grief off.

Sitting down I take both their hands in mine. "I know you'll always worry about me, but I'm fine. For the past months it's been about my health and drama and Mo, I need you to listen to me okay?"

Knitting her brows she answers, "Okay."

"I know you love dealing with your issues alone, but it's just the two of us now, no offence Liam. And I want to be there for you like you always do with me, please stop shutting us out." I finish off tears welling up.

"I will try, I promise I will." Mo promises, wiping tears from her eyes. "Now go before your baby kicks at your bladder." She jokes.

Though, it's really a joke. I do need to use the bathroom. Turning to Liam, the tears I was keeping at bay decide to escape and he pulls me in a hug.

"I need more than a minute to get to you, so maybe I should go to the bathroom first."

"It's okay, go." He says kissing my forehead and I walk to the bathroom, catching Hayden's worried eyes.

After doing my business in the bathroom I wash my hands and wipe my face clean of smudged make-up.

"Why are you crying?" Hayden asks as soon as I'm out of the bathroom.

"Hormones," I smile. "Is it okay if I stay over at my place? Liam is not in a good space and I don't think he should be alone tonight."

"I understand baby." He says kissing me.

"Wha about Sammy boy?"