Chapter 74 Anger
Kristen's POV
"They said she's been torturing herself by starving," Calhoun tries to hold me but I don't let him, as I am already panicking.
"I need to see her," I make this known to him because my mother is who I care about at this point.
"Are you sure about this?" There's uncertainty in Calhoun's eyes as he looks at me, wordlessly telling me that it's not a good idea.
"Yes, she's my mom and nothing could ever change that."
Upon hearing this, Calhoun moves out of the way.
I know mom doesn't need me around her but I am still her child and even if she hates me, it won't change the fact that I still care deeply for her.
And with my heart swelling in my chest, I walk into Mom's ward.
Seeing her lying unconscious on the bed, looking really pale and skinny generates lumps in my throat, and tears brim up to my eyes.
To think she's in this condition because Calhoun gave her divorce papers to sign them.
It's all my fault.
Sobs tear out of my throat as I rush to her side.
My heart is pounding so hard in my chest until it's the only thing I can hear in my ears.
When I take her hand in mine, I don't fail to notice how cold it is.
The urge to console her is great but I'm the last person she'll seek solace from.
She's been starving herself and thinking all because of me. If nothing had happened between me and Calhoun, she wouldn't be on this bed.
The moon goddess is mostly to be blamed because she made Calhoun and me mates in the first place, to create problems.
I am trembling as I keep looking at her mother because I can see the child in her. The child who is hurt and in need of care and affection from the one person who she loves the most. Calhoun.
Mom, who was very beautiful, doesn't even look at herself anymore. And it hurts.
Her skin is pale and she's lost weight.
My lips are trembling because I am holding back from crying out. I don't want her to wake up and see me here like this. She might want me around, but her condition might get even worse because, between me and Calhoun, I caused her more pain.
Why did he give her the divorce papers when he saw her looking like that? I was planning to hide the engagement and pregnancy away from her for some time, and Calhoun just worsened things by what he did this evening.
Mom has every right to loathe me, it's the same way anyone else in her shoes would've felt towards their daughter. Although she traumatized me while I was growing up, but she doesn't deserve any of this. Not at all. She was sweet to Calhoun and never planned to cheat on him until he started having an affair with me.
Mom was kicked out of her pack because she had one drunken fling. The Alpha's son who she was supposed to marry had to reject because she got pregnant with me, and she was also kicked out of the pack by his father.
Now, she fell in love with Calhoun, A powerful Alpha who was equally in love with her until I came into the picture. He fell out of love with her, wasn't faithful, and grew distant all because I was all he could see. He did not only engage me but also impregnate me. And now he wants to divorce her so he can marry me and make me his Luna.
"We need to stay away from each other," I tell Calhoun once I join him outside.
"Why? Is this because of your mom?" Calhoun gives me a confused frown.
And he has no idea how I even feel right now. The fact that he only cares about leaving Mom so he can be with me just sends a new kind of emotion through me. And it's almost like hate.
"I don't think I can do this anymore, Calhoun. She's my mother and I can't turn a blind eye to her suffering." I say.
Calhoun rakes his hair and then sighs.
"I understand."
"No, you don't! I fucking told you about my pregnancy today and you went home, and shoved divorce papers in her face upon seeing her condition," my upper lip quivers because I can feel the tears coming up once more.
"How could you be so heartless?"
"I did it for your sake."
"Well, I never asked you."
"You're already carrying my child, I want us to get married."
"Is this all that matters to you? Mom is losing herself and you don't even care about her."
"I do care," he comes to stand in front of me, "believe me I do."
"No, you don't, Calhoun," I grit out, glaring at him, "she might be your wife who you don't fancy anymore but she's also my mother. Do you know what that means? Do you fucking know!?"
Calhoun is taken aback at my yell because I have never acted this way toward him before.
I can't fail to see how the light in his eyes dies and replaces itself with a dull blue that I can't even recognize.
"Everything I do, I do for you," his tone contains sadness in it but I don't even care. I am just so mad at him and the entire world.
"Don't react like this," Calhoun adds.
"Just fucking stop, dammit! I can't deal with you right now," I am trying to push past him but he won't let me.
"Just calm down, Kristen...I know you're upset. Shouting a lot isn't good for your condition." Calhoun puts his hand on my shoulder to restrain me.
"You don't tell me the fuck what to do!" I growl with spite.
Upon hearing this, Calhoun stops and facepalm. He knows he cannot calm me down at this point, so he casts me one last hurtful look, thin his lips, and makes his way out.