Chapter 145 Out Of Her Reach
Kristen's POV
I've never seen Calhoun look so paranoid before, he's trying to convey his emotions with a frigid face but I can read right through him. He's my mate, I can feel his emotions at times.
His palms are warm when he cups my cheek in them, and with the way his hard unforgiving mouth is quivering.
And I can't resist the urge anymore.
I stand on my toes and kiss him soundly in the mouth.
With the way his large body tenses against mine, it shows that the kiss took him by surprise.
Calhoun kisses me back but only for a few seconds, before withdrawing his lips from mine.
I should be disappointed but I am not.
"Kristen..." his voice is a bit too rough when he calls my name. And I don't want to think about how angry he is for my sake. Earlier, I saw him smashing things up and screaming, he refused to even listen to Nana Joyce. But he stopped throwing a fit when he heard me call his
name.
"Listen to me, Calhoun.." I close the distance between us and put my hands on his.
But his eyes are disturbed.
"Just have little faith in me, I don't want you to be doubtful about this whole Luna's trial thing. As I have no other choice but to do it,"
"But it's not right... I don't want to lose you,"
"You won't lose me, Calhoun," it's my turn to cup his cheeks.
And his Adam's apple bobs up as he blinks unsteadily.
"It's all my fault... I wasn't careful with you," Calhoun shifts the blame on himself and gardens his jaw.
While I shake my head no, at him.
"It's no one's fault. I didn't know I was fertile. We've had sex a couple of times before that day." I point out, trying to make him feel less bad about himself.
Calhoun releases a big breath and says nothing else.
"I promise I'll try as much as I can to not throw up," I try to ease the tension by pinching his cheeks. But the solemn expression on his face just remains the same.
And it seems as though I am making no progress. Something which leaves me with no alternative but to go straight to the point.
"Just let me go ahead with it, Calhoun..backing out will impose a curse on everyone in this pack. And I can't stay and let over five thousand people suffer because of me."
"Please, Calhoun. Stop beating yourself over this and hope for the best." I implore.
"Fine, but I'm stopping it when I find out you're on the verge of barfing..." Calhoun replies, at last, his tone firm. His eyes are of a stormy blue.
"Calhoun.." upon feeling a bit exhausted, I call out his name, hoping he would hear me out.
But he doesn't even listen to me. He just turn his back to me and walk right out without even sparing me a shoulder glance.
And it's obvious that he'd handle things how he sees fit.
I sigh in distress as my shoulders sag in worry.
Why does it seem like tonight won't end well for me?
Both Maddy and Sapphire aren't people I can talk to in terms of this. They're afraid for me and Aiden as much as Calhoun.
Perhaps a parent would have been better to run to.
Except the genuine one I had was killed.
His words would have strengthened me. We shared the father-and- daughter bond.
Too bad my chances of being with him were robbed of by death.
And my mother? She's the worst person I have ever come across. Praying for my downfall and wishing for my death.
She's stuck in Calhoun's dungeon where she'd spend the rest of her years because if she's let out of the dungeon, both I and Aiden will be unsafe.
Things are a bit fucked up right now but I won't let them get the best of me when the Luna's rite is to take place tonight.
I have to be strong for myself, Aiden, and mostly Calhoun.
He agreed to the Luna's rite on the night of the Game of Alphas. Only
to start second-guessing himself this evening.
The door slowly creaks open and just as I am thinking it's Calhoun returning, someone pops their head in.
And it's no other person than Nana Joyce.
"Kristen.." There's a small frown on her face as she looks at me.
Can it be that she overheard Calhoun and I's conversation, and she
saw Calhoun leaving earlier?
"Nana Joyce," I'm still surprised she's here.
She leaves the door and approaches me with a neutral expression.
"I wasn't expecting to see you here," I confess as I let my hands fall
at my side.
"I came to wish you good luck with the Luna's rite," Calhoun's grandmother sighs as she reaches my side.
"Oh," that's all I can say.
"Yes. During my years as Luna of the Greyhound pack, I was never confronted with the horror of doing such a thing. Although I might have suffered a thing or two." She gives me a smile that doesn't even reach her eyes, and I am left wondering why she's revealing all this
to me.
"I underestimated you before, but now I can see you're changing. You can do this," Nana Joyce assured me with a firm expression on her face as she clasp my hands in hers.
"Thank you for such kind words, Nana Joyce," My smile is genuine
this time.
And she pulls me into a quick hug.
Relief seeps through me because I never expected such from Calhoun's grandmother. She's known to be strict at times. Except she completely feels for me.
"I'll keep you in my prayers, child." Nana Joyce breaks away from the hug just to smoothen my hair backward. And it seems as though she
still has more to say.
"Just know if things don't go the way we predicted, I'll always be here to help you." There's this determination laced in her tone as she utters this, and her gaze is steadfast and unwavering.
With a heavy hard, I nod at last.
Fake her a quick smile.
I release more nerve-calming breath as I turn to face the full-length
mirror once more.
"You've got this Kristen," releasing low breaths, I clasp my hands
together.
"For Calhoun and Aiden," I assure myself.