Chapter 127 New Beginning
Kristen's POV
Five months later.
It sucks that I should've been part of the graduates today if I hadn't been kidnapped by Jack and bedridden for eleven days. Now I have to sit back for the exams by next year to officially pass out as a graduate.
Anyone in my shoes would feel bad or twice as bad as I do. The pain of seeing your peers climbing up on stage to give their commencement speeches while you're in the audience at the pavilion.
I am jealous of my friends, we began everything together. Yet I am here and they're there. Mostly Maddy who's beaming that I'm starting to wonder if her cheeks don't hurt.
Still, they deserve to be euphoric.
Meanwhile, I'm six months pregnant already, so by this time next year, I'll be a mother.
The whole campus is full with people from different packs for today's graduation ceremony.
"Cheer up, Kristen. It's not the end of the world," Maddy gives me a side hug when we meet outside.
"You're marrying Calhoun after the baby's delivery and you'll be Luna of the Greyhound pack," Sapphire pushes a strand of hair behind my ear and puts her hand on my arm.
"Still, it hurts," I pout, kicking my boot-clad feet to the ground.
"I wouldn't mind repeating my exams next year if I'll have someone like Calhoun in my life," Maddy's body vibrates against mine as she giggles because she's still holding me.
"Shut up, you're not willing to get tied to anyone," Sapphire snaps, poking Maddy's forehead as if she's a mannequin.
A smile threatens to spread on my face, but I harden my jaw to keep from it.
Sapphire takes off her graduation cap and settles it on top of my head.
"You're resitting for the exams next year won't make you any less of yourself. You were the best we ever had." She ends this by bumping her shoulder against mine.
"That's Ben over there" Maddy whispers and we push our gazes in his way.
Ben seems to be unmindful of everything around him as he takes long strides. I don't see his father, Alpha Gregory, or even his younger brother, Clarke. Maybe he's away from them.
And he seems a little lonely too.
"Ben!" I yell his name.
There's this huge frown on his face when he turns in the direction he heard his name.
And when he sees that it's me, his frown deepens and he clenches his jaw.
"He's not gotten over you,"
"Looks like it,"
Sapphire and Maddy's voices are loud enough to be heard by the people around us.
"Just don't make your gossip so obvious," I grumble.
I feel a little uncomfortable that he's actually coming this way, when he's kept out of my way since I walked him out of my room, five months ago when I was still having amnesia and paralysis.
"Hey," Ben forces this out from his throat as he looks anywhere but
me.
"Congratulations, Ben. You did it," I cast him a genuine smile. Tempted to slide my hand in his but it'll be of no help since Ben is currently mad at me.
"Thank you," he mumbles. And when he finally let his eyes meet mine, they're cold. I'll take it that he's still remembering that night when he confessed his feelings to me and I still went in search of Calhoun.
"When will you be coronated Alpha of the Green Valley pack?" I can tell from the way Maddy's staring up at him with admiration in her eyes, she has this little attraction for him. Or maybe she seems genuinely concerned about him.
"In two weeks," he responds after letting a slice of seconds pass. His body language gives the energy that he'll rather be anywhere than here. Because of me.
"Have you found your Luna yet?" Sapphire eyes him.
Ben hesitates for a moment. And then he lets his eyes connect with mine.
"No, it would take some time." He's still holding my gaze when he makes this known to us.
"Why?" Maddy frowns a little.
Ben clenches his jaw for some time before unclenching. His eyelids flutter as if he's still putting the words together in his head.
"The girl I loved turned me down for someone older, more mature, wealthy, and powerful."
"There's a lot of fish in the sea," Sapphire responds and I can tell she's doing this for my sake. To completely make it known to Ben
that I'm off limits.
"Currently not searching," his tone is firm and dismissive.
"Who knows if you will get blessed with a mate?" Maddy jabs her shoulder against his arm, trying to lighten his mood. She's more optimistic than Sapphire.
Ben grumbles something incoherent under his breath.
"Maddy, Sapphire, can you please excuse us?" I ask my friends because I need to give Ben closure even though we never got
involved romantically.
"Sure, we're not done taking photos yet," Maddy pulls Sapphire
away from us, not before flashing Ben a pitiful look.
"You don't have to make it so obvious, Ben," I rasp out when they're
finally gone.
"Make what so obvious?" Ben wears his confusion from once more.
"That I turned you down," I say after taking a gulp.
Ben scoffs bitterly before shaking his head to himself.
He's changed a lot. Not like I completely understood him before. But he's giving me the cold shoulder.
"But it's the truth, Kristen. I've been hurting since then." He settles
his cold gaze on me once more.
"You already knew I was mated to Calhoun," I point out. Because from the on look of things he hurt himself mostly by building false
hopes.
"And pregnant, you're going to have his baby," Ben continues,
gesturing at my bump.
"It just happened," that's the only thing I can say.
"Yeah, sure," Ben replies ironically.
"I caused you a lot of trouble when I had amnesia and paralysis," I
am fumbling with my hands while
"No, you didn't. It's something I would've gladly done a thousand times. If only you had looked my way."
"Just don't," I hold my hand up to stop him because he's heading that way once more.
"I'd like to thank you for all you did for me," I add, trying to lessen
the tension in the air, but it's of no use since Ben chose to glare at me
instead.
"There's no point thanking me, you kicked me out when you began regaining your memories," he tells me.
"I'm sure you'll find someone who will love you as much as you love
them," I say quietly because I don't even want to argue with him.
"You talk like that because you love Calhoun and he loves you back," Bruce snaps.
"Don't nurse hateful feelings for me, Ben," I implore.
"Why do you even care about how I feel? It's my emotions after all. I
hurt when I want to. You don't tell me how to feel," he snaps for the second time within the space of thirty seconds.
"Fine." I agree, not wanting any room for more arguments.
Ben is leaving when he returns.
"And one more thing, Kristen,"
"Yes?"
"I don't think I'd want to speak to you again,"
"Oh.."
"I mean it," he hardened his jaw and reverts his head to stare around
him before bringing his eyes back to mine.
"It's one thing to have you reject me, and another to see you
pregnant for Calhoun. I can't stand it." He lets out this honest
response.
"So you're going to avoid me forever?" I put my hands on my waist
after inquiring. A bit taken aback by how freely he told the truth.
"Until I get over you," he locks his gaze with me.
"Oh... Ben.." Hearing him say this just breaks my heart. "Don't feel pitiful towards me. It's all my fault that I fell in love with the wrong person," he avoids my gaze while he lets this out.
And I just take a rough gulp and say nothing else. How raw he is with
his emotions, not even hiding the way he feels.
Ben looks at me for some time. Despite the hardness in his eyes, I can't fail to see how affectionate he is towards me.
I wonder what I ever did to make him feel this way towards me. He
just came at the wrong time and it's sad.
When his eyes threaten to soften, he clenches his jaw.
"Goodbye, Kristen. And good luck with your life with Calhoun," He
thins his lips and quickly turns his back to me.
I break into a sigh as I watch Ben go.
I never knew he could affect me this way. It's strange but I can feel a
tad of his emotions.
He's such an honest person and I'll give him credit for that.
He didn't beat around the bush, nor did he try to hide the way I made
him feel. He went straight to the point.
I hope he gets the love he deserves because he has such a powerful
mindset. And his love is fierce too. Sadly, I am out of the picture because I can never look at any man except Calhoun.
"Kristen..." I hear him before I see him.
I can't believe he came.
"Did something happen?" Calhoun has this confused look on his face
as he examines mine.
Shaking my head, I pull him into a quick embrace.
He came right at the moment I was thinking about him. "I'll take it that your pregnancy hormones are doing a great deal of manifesting themselves right now," Calhoun puts one hand on my back and strokes my hair with the other.
"I think I just got a bit emotional," I tip my head to meet his
beautiful blue eyes.
"Missed me?" Calhoun tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and
looks at me lovingly.
I nod. It's been five amazing months with Calhoun. He made me
move in with him because he didn't want me to stay alone anymore.
"Let's get out of here, shall we?" Calhoun holds my hand. "Where to?" I ask.
"Anywhere except here," he purses his lips and sighs as he looks at
me through a squint, "I wonder why you came upon knowing you'd
be depressed seeing your coursemates graduate."
"It's for Maddy and Sapphire,"
"Did you hold back tears?" "I never had the urge to cry." "Good."