Chapter 104 Ben
Kristen's POV
I wasn't expecting to barge into Ben's coronation when I arrived at Alpha Gregory's mansion.
The situation at hand is something I won't even wish for an enemy because I've never felt so humiliated in my white life before.
Over a thousand people from the Green Valley pack are staring at me with wide eyes because they weren't expecting to see me look like a pregnant, starved rogue.
Had I known, I would have stayed out in my room. But the more I stayed there, the more it felt like the whole place lacked ventilation, and if I didn't leave, I would die. So I had to run away. Because
staying there reminds me of Calhoun. How he tried to plead with me to listen to him and trust him. How he knelt on the floor and crawled to catch up with me.
It was still so fresh that I kept seeing him there, staring at me with those eerily blue eyes that literally still pierce through my soul.
Back to the present.
There's a deafening silence as eyes keep growing wide in their sockets and jaws are still touching the floor.
Even Alpha Gregory seems unsure of himself, from where he's seated with the rest of the Green Valley elders.
They weren't expecting to see a pregnant Alpha Calhoun's little mate, storming in the middle of the coronation.
Ben is wearing a white robe and he's kneeling before their head elder in the pyramid.
Oh no, this is just worse than I ever expected.
The intruder. That's what I am. Because the place is still dead silent and everyone present is refusing to take their eyes off me. While I am still glued to my standing spot like one of those statues in Calhoun's courtyard.
"Kristen?" Ben's eyes are hate-free when he looks at me.
And the urge to just run away overwhelms me because I've never felt so humiliated in my entire life before.
There's this girl seated next to the power seat which I believe is meant for Ben.
Is she the girl he wants to make his Luna?
I've never seen her anywhere, not even at school.
She's beautiful, looks the perfect fit for Ben's wife and as Luna of the Greyhound pack.
My throat tightens as I am whipped by my emotions. Self-pity and disgust and as well jealousy are tugging deep within me.
And it's just wrong to feel this way.
Ben deserves happiness after getting heartbroken by me a lot of times.
Eyes follow me as I place one unsteady footstep after the other until I am standing a few meters away from Ben.
"I'm so sorry for coming in like this, I know you asked me to stay away from you," it takes everything within me to direct this to Ben because they're still looking at me as if I'll create a disaster.
"Kristen..." Ben slowly blinks as his gaze stays on me.
"I am so sorry for the disruption," I point at the large doors behind me, "I should go."
"No, wait," Ben leaves his spot and dashes towards me.
Then he surprises me and every one by slipping my hand in his.
"I'll be back shortly," he informs everyone.
"Son.." his father begins but Ben interrupts him.
"I'll be back," he says firmly as he takes my hand and leads me out of the hall.
I can see his Luna to be, looking utterly jealous and my stomach just churns.
"Are you okay?" Ben asks after letting me into one of the guest rooms. He held my hand all along and didn't let me remove it when I tried to, instead, he held onto it tightly.
"I am so sorry, Ben. Had I known today was your coronation, I never would've shown up here," I say quietly. I have never felt so ashamed of myself in such a long time.
"It's alright, you don't look so good yourself," Ben examines my face with a serious gaze.
"I know you warned me to stay away from you," I continue.
"It's all in the past now, Kristen. I'm not mad anymore." Ben looks at me with genuine concern and I can feel my vision getting blurred with tears, and my heart keeps bleeding.
If only I hadn't turned him down a couple of times, I wouldn't have found myself in this situation.
"Kristen, did he hurt you?" Ben suddenly asks his eyes into a squint.
Before I can let out any word, sobs tear right out of my throat. Confirming Ben's words right and I just hate myself because my
pregnancy hormones are making me overly emotional.
"Hey," Ben is at my side once more, holding me. And the tears just flow even harder and I can't even control them to stop.
"Calhoun hurt you, didn't he?" Ben continues, searching my tearful
face.
I am too ashamed to even agree to this because Ben warned me countless of times, yet I paid him deaf ears. I was already too blinded by my love for Calhoun to even see what was about to hit me in the
face.
If I wasn't so stupid, I would have listened to him.
Yet, a part of me wants to think that Calhoun truly loves me.
"You need to go back for your coronation," I tell Ben, after quickly drying my eyes with the back of my hand. I don't want to seem weak to him and I have no right to cry in front of him after I hurt him.
He was there for me the whole time I was having amnesia and paralysis, and stayed by my side even though he was warned to keep off on countless occasions. Yet what did I do to him?
Walked him out like an ungrateful little bitch.
"You're hurting, I need to be here for you," Ben is reluctant to leave
and it's making my stomach churn.
"Just go, Ben. I'll wait here," I implore because I am completely uncomfortable that he's still here.
"But..." He tries to protest but I interrupt him.
"Please, Ben. You can't keep those people waiting. They're there for
your sake," I let this out, because there's this tugging feeling in me, signifying that I'll be held responsible if Ben's coronation is delayed.
"Fine," he agrees at last.
Two hours later.
"Kristen," it's Ben, he's back.
Rising from the bed, I approach him.
"Again, I apologize for starting a disruption," I am already feeling
too embarrassed at this point.
"You don't have to apologize over anything," Ben gives me a small
smile.
"But a lot of people recognize me as Calhoun's mate," I continue because I can still recall how I was stared at, weirdly.
"It doesn't matter, Kristen," Ben still has that smile on his face and
it reminds me of the first time he was making advances at me,
without knowing Calhoun was already in the picture.
"Do you not hate me anymore?" It takes enough courage to question
Ben like this.
"I never hated you, Kristen. I was just mad at everything and
everyone, and why you could never love me."
Swallowing hard, I rub my arm.
"You should sit," Ben points at the bed behind me before sliding into
the only chair in the room.
Quietly, I sit.
"Do you need anything?" There's concern in his eyes as he looks at
me.
"No," I shake my head.
"But you look pale," Ben still persists with a slight frown. "How was your coronation?" I quickly change the topic, "It went
well?" "Father finally stepped down as Alpha of the Greyhound pack and I am the new Alpha," Ben sighs and rakes his hair with his fingers. "Finally," I try to force him a smile but my lips remain stiff, "you'll be such a wonderful Alpha."
"Don't put your hopes on me just yet, I am still the Ben Gregory you
know," Ben bumps his shoulder against mine, trying to be all carefree as if nothing happened between us.
This time, a small smile forms on my face.
"So, I'm guessing you don't want to talk about Calhoun," Ben purses
his lips as he observes my face.
I shake my head no.
There's silence for a few seconds and I'm starting to wonder if he's
lost in thoughts.
"Are you sure, Kristen? Or you're afraid I'll judge you," he sounds calm and non-threatening, but still I don't trust him enough.
"Of course, you will judge me," I let this out after releasing a low
sigh. "I'm starting to get mature already, upon knowing I have the weight of this pack resting on my shoulders," Ben adds in the same tone, and also hinting for me to give in so we can talk about why I am like
this.
But I nod and I don't say anything.
"So what did Calhoun do to you?" Ben's voice is firm this time, something which gives out that he's serious.
"It won't change anything if I tell you," I state the obvious because
talking about Calhoun will shatter my heart more than the way it
already has.
"He cheated on you," Ben drops this and I can feel my heart quake in
my chest because he just stated the truth.
"The bastard," Ben hisses, and I can see his veins bulging out along his neck. Something which indicates that he's clenching his fist. "Where are you going?" Ben asks me when he sees me rising to my
feet.
"Away from here," I murmur, staring at my fingers. "Why?" Ben inquires.
"Today is your coronation, you don't need to be upset over anything,
" now it's starting to feel wrong in every way that I came here of all
places. "But I am upset for your sake," Ben continues with his voice containing so much honesty.
"It's pointless, Ben. I should go," I am already at my feet, heading towards the door.
"No, stay," Ben blocks my part immediately, refraining me from nearing the door, "you wouldn't come to me if you didn't need my help."
"I wasn't thinking straight," I blink after taking an unsteady gulp.
"Just don't leave, if not talking about Calhoun will make you stay, then I won't mention him anymore," he shoots me this firm look while he spreads his hands out wide, and I can see the anger fading
from his eyes.
"Why are you being so nice to me?" I ask because he feels unusual, different from the boy I am used to.
Ben only smiles and puts his hand on my shoulder. "This is the first time I'm having you come to me, it gives me the idea that if Calhoun wasn't in the picture, we would have been together," he says so quietly that I can feel my heart racing in my chest because that was the last thing I expected him to say. I take a rough gulp and stay silent instead.
"You need to be taken care of, Kristen. And you can't stay here for a long as you want." Ben adds, staring at me with so much affection that I just fee une urge to von because it smaking me unsettled.
"I don't want to inconvenience anyone," I let this out while
fumbling with my sweaty hands.
"My father is friends with Calhoun but he won't tell Calhoun you're
here if I tell him not to," Ben assures me, and his eyes are hate-free.
It's almost like he doesn't care about me being here. "It's not only about your father," my voice is so low that it's almost
a miracle for Ben to hear me correctly.
"Then who, Maeve?" I don't need anyone to tell me he's referring to
the girl who I saw earlier.
know it's all shades of wrong and selfish to feel jealous but I can't
help it. Ben's finally going to settle down.
"We haven't gotten married and she's yet to be my Luna," Ben has this unsure look on his face when he makes this known to me.
"I'm not sure she'll like me being here," I avoid his gaze to rub the
side of my arm.
But Ben puts his hand on my shoulder and smiles at me as if I never
hurt his feelings.
"Just don't overthink things, no one will hurt you as long as I'm here.
And the firmness in his voice and the serious look in his eyes make
me believe him. He's always been a man of his word. When he says something, he actually means it.
Ben tucks a strand of hair behind my ear and smiles at me. And it's just so wrong because it still feels like he cares for me.