Chapter 159
Chapter 159
Cora--
I can’t contain the flinch that launches my water all over me when Landon practically kicks the door in and storms through. Luckily, I’m back in my favorite set of the lounge wear he bought me for the bunker. I would’ve been incensed if he startled me in one of my new silk blouses. He’s damn fortunate that I was in the middle of a very exclusive pity party. “That asshole! I can’t even fucking believe…” I try to tap into his thoughts, see what he’s even talking about, but all I’m getting is a red sheet of rage. He’s past thoughts at this point.
Calmly setting my– mostly empty, now– cup on the desk, I turn to Landon to see if I can work him back from the cliff enough to get him to make sense. There’s no true information in a rant. “Of which asshole are you speaking?”
He’s running his hands through his hair, clearly still incensed– even after an hour in the car on the way here. “Fucking James!”
I take a deep breath. This must be some new and exciting, lack of tact on James’ part. We both got over the faux pas from the other day. “Can you take some deep breaths and walk me through it? Or do you need to break some things first? I read a study that said breaking things actually makes rages worse in the future, but it always feels better short-term so by all means…”
Landon snorts, but the corner of his mouth twitches. Humor is always the way out with him. It took me long enough to figure it out, but I’m very thorough with my research. “I think you mostly had to be there. He was weird today. I really think he’s scared to find a mate. Like it’s catching.” It’s like trying to have a conversation during a tennis match as I watch him pace back and forth.
With a hum, I think through my meeting with him through that lens. “Actually, that makes sense. It explains why he rushed me so much on my research. Why he wanted it delivered especially to himself as soon as I finished with it. He knew I was hoping in the beginning to find a cure. He wanted the same thing and knew I would have an eye in that direction.”
Now that we’re having a real conversation, Landon’s pacing slows down. It’s a major improvement, if only for my neck. “Exactly. It must really chap his ass, because he was a total dick at the meeting. Threw it in my face that you were the one to write the article that started all of this.”
There’s a sinking feeling in my stomach. I can’t even comment on the slight southern accent he picks up when he mimics Emory’s ridiculous phrases. Her family has never even been in cattle ownership, which is where that one comes from. “He’s not wrong, though. This is all my fault. You would all still be under the radar if I hadn’t smelled gossip. I have potentially ruined all of your lives.”
Landon goes still in a way that reminds me of the predator in him. Suddenly, he’s directly in my personal space. “Kitten, no matter what happens, you could only improve my life. I was empty before you, living an endless loop of the same parties and one night stands. Only the faces changed. You understand that, right? That I don’t regret you and never could?”
It takes everything in me to keep from squirming. I can’t hold his gaze. “Of course. One act of selfish ambition doesn’t cancel out the mate bond.”
Landon’s massive hands on my face tilt my head until I can’t avoid eye contact. “You forget that I can hear your thoughts, mate. You forget that I know you better than you even know yourself now because I don’t have to believe the lies you tell yourself. You thought you were protecting your friend. You just got a little turned around along the way. You’re safe with me. You can be vulnerable. I’m not just here to keep you physically unharmed, Cora. You’re mine– body, heart, and soul. I protect what’s mine.” He pauses to kiss my forehead, trying to hide how unsure he suddenly feels. “I love you, Cora. No matter how you feel about yourself, past or present. Do you understand me?”
My mind goes blank for a moment, then spits out an unhelpful holy shit! He loves me. I’ve known he likes me, of course. The mate bond wouldn’t allow for anything else. I’ve found good things about him, too. He’s a great guy, it turns out. Just a little misguided. I guess that makes us a matching pair. I feel him searching my gaze as I try to sort through all my feelings. There are a lot of them– more than I thought. Surprise, of course, but under that is a deep… appreciation. Almost a feeling of indebtedness. On further reflection, I’m just now starting to realize I didn’t even think I was worth loving. It was always easier to push everyone away before they could withhold it. I’ve never considered actually hoping for love, asking for it, working to be worthy. But that’s exactly what we’ve both done here. We’ve been helping each other grow into worthwhile beings. No matter what James says, I’m not the same woman I was a year ago.
I can tell Landon is trying to be patient as I figure myself out, but after a heavy moment of silence, he starts to fidget. “You don’t have to say it back. I just need you to understand. Do you?” When I still don’t answer immediately, he shakes my head a little, gently.
That breaks me out of it, and I laugh. “Of course I understand. Don’t be ridiculous. I… I love you too.”
The joy that crosses his face is like the sun dawning from between the clouds. It’s like a revelation. It’s the same way I feel inside myself. “Good fucking girl.” He scoops me up and tosses me to the bed.