45 - Ravi

As I took her unconscious body in my arms, Mariana's words echoed in my mind over and over again, like a broken record. I knew I shouldn't feel so hurt, but I did. With just two sentences, she had managed to penetrate the wall that had surrounded me since everything that had happened with Gael and that made me run away from any feeling similar to love, the wall that had allowed me to keep my distance from everything and everyone, except her.

She didn't really hate me. I knew that. She wanted me. She loved me, or at least thought she did. When this was all over, we would return

to the life we had had in the previous days, except that I would feel better, safer.

Less afraid of losing them.

If you love me, don't do this...

Shit. I didn't know why I cared about what she said. I certainly didn't love her. Could not. Love was for those who were noble and generous, for people who still had a heart.

I was not like that. Never been. What I felt for Mariana was nothing like the soft, flowery emotion illustrated in all the books and movies. It was something deeper and much more visceral than that. I needed her with a violence that twisted my insides, with a desire that demolished me. I needed her like I needed air and I would do whatever it took to keep her with me.

I would die for her, but I would never let her go.

Holding her small body in her arms, I carried her to the living room. David, our favela doctor, was already there, waiting on the couch with his briefcase and medical supplies. Earlier, I had asked him to come by so that he could do the procedure as soon as possible after dinner and I was happy to see that he wasn't late. I had only given Mariana a quarter of the drug in the syringe and I wanted it all to be over before she woke up.

—Is she already asleep? — David asks, standing up to greet me. He was a short, bald man in his early forties and one of the most talented surgeons I had ever met. I paid a lot for him to treat minor injuries, but I considered it worth it. In my line of work, you never knew when a good doctor would be needed.

— Yes. — I placed Mariana carefully on the sofa. Her left arm fell to her side and I gently placed it in a more comfortable position, covering her slender thighs with her dress. David wouldn't mind anyway, as he was more likely to get a hard-on for me than for my son's mother, but I didn't like the idea of exposing her unnecessarily, even to an openly homosexual man.

— You know I could have just numbed the area, don't you? — He asks, picking up the tools he needed. All of his movements were efficient. He was excellent at what he did. — It's a simple procedure, nothing that requires the patient to be unconscious.

— It's better this way. — I didn't explain, but I thought he understood, because he didn't say anything else. He put on his gloves, took a large syringe with a thick hypodermic needle and approached Mariana.

I took a step back to give him space.

— How many trackers do you want? Just one or more? — He asks, looking at me.

- Three. — I had thought about it before and it was what made the most sense. If she were kidnapped, my enemies might think about looking for a locator chip in her body, but they were unlikely to look for three of them.

- He is well. I will place one on my upper arm, one on my hip, and one on my inner thigh.

— Okay. — The trackers were tiny, about the size of a grain of rice, and after a few days, Nora wouldn't even feel them anymore. “Then that's what I'll do,” he says finally. Cleaning her upper arm with a disinfectant solution, he pressed the needle into her skin. A small drop of blood appeared when the needle penetrated, depositing

the tracker. Then he disinfected the area again and placed a small bandage over it. The hip implant was next and, finally, the inner thigh implant.

It took less than six minutes from start to finish of the procedure and Mariana slept peacefully the entire time.

— Ready — he says, taking off his gloves and closing the briefcase. —You can take off the bandages in an hour, when the bleeding stops, and put on regular Band-Aids. The areas will be tender for a few days, but should not scar, especially if you keep the insertion points clean. If you need to, you can call me, but I don't think you will have any problems.

- Excellent thank you.

- It was a pleasure. — Upon saying that, David took the suitcase and left.

Mariana regained consciousness around three in the morning.

My sleep was light and I woke up as soon as she started to move. I knew she would have a headache and nausea from the drug and had already prepared a bottle of water in case she felt thirsty. I expected the side effects to be mild, as I had given her a small dose. The.

I pushed away the memory of her accusing whisper and focused on the present. I felt her move next to me and heard a small sound of discomfort as the mattress touched the sensitive spot on her arm. That sound did something to me, disturbed me for some reason. I didn't want her to feel pain, at least not because of that, and I reached out,

pulling her close to hug her from behind.

She stiffened under my touch and tension spread throughout her body. I realized that she was now awake and remembered what had happened.

- How are you feeling? I asked, keeping my voice low and

comforting as he strokes the soft curve of her thigh. — Do you want some water or something else?

She didn't say anything, but I felt her head move slightly, which I took as a statement.

- He is well. — Reaching back, I picked up the bottle of water, after feeling around in the dark for a few seconds. Leaning on my elbow, I turned on the lamp and handed the bottle to her.

She blinked a few times at the light and reached for the water, wrapping her slender fingers around the bottle as she sat down. The movement caused the blanket to slide down, exposing her upper body. I undressed her before

to put her on the bed and she was naked. Only her hair hid her breasts from my eyes.

The familiar desire filled me, but I suppressed it, wanting to make sure she was okay first.

I let her take a few sips and asked again:

- How are you feeling?

She shrugged, not meeting my gaze.

— Well, I guess. — Her hand went up to her upper arm, touching the Band-Aid, and I watched as she shivered slightly, as if she were cold. — I need to use the bathroom — she says suddenly, and without waiting for my answer, she gets out of bed. I saw from

I caught a glimpse of her buttocks before she walked through the bathroom door and my penis jumped, ignoring my mind's order to be quiet.

Sighing, I lay back on the pillow to wait for her. Who was I trying to fool? My pet always had that effect on me. I couldn't ignore seeing her naked. Almost involuntarily, my hand slipped under the blanket and I wrapped my fingers around the rigid penis as I closed my eyes and imagined her inner walls around me, her deliciously tight and wet pussy...

Shit. I opened my eyes and felt some of the heat inside cool down. I still had a hard-on, but now the desire was mixed with a strange heaviness in my chest.

I didn't know what that was. I should feel happier now that the trackers were in place, but I didn't. Instead, I felt like I had lost something, something I didn't even know I had.

Irritated, I closed my eyes again, this time focusing on the growing pain in my testicles as I moved my hand up and down his penis, letting the desire build. Even if she hated me, what was the problem? She

She should probably hate me, considering everything I'd done. I had never let such worries stop me from doing what I wanted, and I didn't intend to let that start now. Mariana would get used to the trackers, as if she had gotten used to being mine. And if one day the security of that house failed, she would thank me.

Hearing a noise at the bathroom door, I opened my eyes and saw her come out.

She still didn't look directly at me, keeping her eyes on the floor as she ran to the bed and crawled under the covers, pulling them up to her chin. Then she stared at the ceiling, as if I didn't exist.

Her indifference was like a slap in the face.