Chapter XXVII

An echo reverberated through the room. My legs were shaking and I could feel my heartbeat pulsing. The shot was still ringing in my ears and shaking my skeleton. I tried to focus on one point, but everything around me was spinning. I became more and more lost in my panic and realized that reality was giving way to my memories.

Lucca appeared in front of me and shook my shoulders while I watched him scream at me. But no sound reached me. Silence was all I heard, as if the shot had burst my eardrum. I could hardly move, my chest was rising and falling at a rapid pace.

I was hyperventilating and my vision became blurred.

I tried to hold on to Lucca so I wouldn't fall over, but it was getting harder and harder to stay upright.

I had to try to calm myself down and suppress the attack. If I lose touch with reality now, it will end in disaster.

Lucca pulled me out of the hall, step by step, and I let him. I had to get out of here so I could breathe freely again.

The tunnel vision made it difficult for me, which is why I sometimes had to lean on him completely.

When we finally stepped outside through the door, my vision improved and my breathing calmed down. My whole body was still shaking, but I had control back.

"It's the shots that are causing these attacks in you." Luca didn't ask me, but rather determined it for himself.

"Dante's shot at the engagement, and now Perez Junior's shot. Both times you had this reaction." I just nodded. There was no point in telling Luca that he was wrong, because he wasn't.

"Dante's shot?" I asked in disbelief, having processed what he had said. My head was still too confused. Had he really just said that Dante had shot at our engagement party, that he had fired the shot that had triggered my seizure?

Luca didn't answer me, but stared at the entrance. Pablo and some of our men came out and spread out into the cars, while Pablo came over to us.

"I've sorted everything out. Perez has his son under control again now and we can leave. Sergio is already waiting."

OH damn, I hope he doesn't tell Sergio about my seizure. I don't need that now. Right now, when I've been given such a chance. I had made the deal and at a better price than I had hoped, but if Sergio finds out that I have seizures, he won't let me go on missions anymore, let alone lead them.

Maybe that would be better, I could have just seriously jeopardized the deal. I can't imagine what could happen on a real mission.

I need to get these attacks under control.

The car ride was silent. When we finally got there, Pablo got out. I also wanted to open my door, but Lucca locked the doors from the inside. I turned to the driver's seat and looked at him confused. "We should talk."

I just shook my head and sighed. Why didn't he understand that this matter was none of his business? Yes, he had already helped me three times, but that doesn't mean that I have to pour my heart out to him now. "Anastasia! We. will. talk. now." He emphasized each word loudly, making me flinch. "You don't have to tell me the reason, or what kind of attacks they are, but you will talk to me about what we are going to do with them now." Do with them? What does he mean by that? I just didn't understand Luca. I mean, he's been quiet to me all day and mostly avoided conversation, and now he wants to talk, exactly when I would prefer to take a hot bath.

"Your father is waiting for us." With that sentence, I turned away from him and looked out the window. I felt a bit childish, but I wasn't going to give him what he wanted.

"Okay, you have a choice. Either you talk, or I have no choice but to tell Dante." Great. He's blackmailing me and then telling me off to my fiancé. Or rather, fake fiancé. Oh man, my head is spinning. And I thought I was childish.

I had no choice and turned back to him. Dante mustn't find out under any circumstances. No one was allowed to do that.

"Listen, I don't want to force you to talk about it, but I will force you to treat it. These attacks are not healthy and you know that. I have seen two so far and I think they are getting worse. Your whole body is shaking, your gaze is fixed and your breathing is choppy. You are unresponsive, as if you weren't there.

Anastasia, this is damn serious. You can't go out on a mission with this kind of stress." He looked me deep in the eyes. It was strange to have someone describe my attack. I only knew what it was like inside me and what I felt, but not how people saw me at the time. I knew that he was right and that these attacks were dangerous and unhealthy. I had to experience that often enough, especially in the first few years. But over time I came to terms with it and learned to live with it. I usually know what triggers an attack and avoid it. They had also become less frequent before I moved to Italy. But here everything is different and there is no Ivan to shield me from everything that could trigger a seizure. I was alone and had to go through it alone.

"I'll tell you what we're going to do. I'll call an old friend who knows about this sort of thing and ask him to help us. If it doesn't work, I won't say another word about it and I'll protect your secret. But if it helps, then you finish the therapy."

Did he just say therapy? I'm not doing therapy! He can forget that, we Petrows don't do that.

"No, no therapy!" I almost shouted through the car. Lucca looked at me in horror. "Open the car now!" I had had enough. He can't lock me up and then set his conditions. "You do realize that I can't let you go on missions like this anymore?!" I just looked straight ahead through the windshield. He should stop meddling in my affairs and open the door. After a few seconds, Luca also realized that I was not going to give in and opened the door. I ripped it open and quickly got out.

"We'll talk about that!" he yelled loudly after me and then slammed his car door. He and Dante were more alike than I thought, all that was missing was him grabbing my wrist and spinning me around. I ran up the stairs to my room. I need time for myself now.