152. The things that need to be done
152. The things that need to be done
KENNY
"So, Seraphine is your mate?" Devon's question sounded more like a statement than a question. The surprised look on my head Beta's face made me feel increasingly sad about my own reality.
"I knew it!" Matt exclaimed, jumping up from his chair and making me look at him, feeling confused.
"You… already knew?" I said, staring at him. He smirked, letting out a chuckle.
"It's not like you were trying hard to hide it, Kenny," he said, sitting back down and resting his hand on my knee before comfortably settling onto Devon's lap. "Alice and I had a theory about some kind of mess between you two because that day at the hospital, you guys practically devoured each other. So, we were betting on either some unresolved sexual tension or a mate bond."
I nodded, taking in Matt and Queen Luna Alice's perceptiveness. "It's a bit late now," I said with a sigh, and both of them asked in unison:
"Why?"
"Why?"
They let out a coordinated laugh before I answered, my tone unchanged. "Because she doesn't want me. I hurt her too much all these years while I’ve been here as Beta, fighting alongside the king."
"I can't believe this," Devon said, covering his face and rubbing his eyes with a strangled sound.
"What?" Matt asked, looking at his mate.
"Remember when you two first met, and I got jealous?" Devon asked, and Matt nodded. "There’s a reason I acted that way. Kenny was a real Casanova in this pack."
Matt looked at me, scandalized, and I grimaced, unable to deny Devon’s statement. I had indeed acted horribly, drowning my pain in other women and causing even more pain in return.
"Have you two formally rejected each other?" Devon asked.
"No. Seraphine didn’t accept the rejection and just kept seeing other guys while I was with other women," I replied bitterly. "I didn’t expect her to refuse the bond so easily."
"That's… complicated," Matt said, frowning as he processed the situation. He crossed his arms, leaning back further into Devon's lap. "I mean, the mate bond is powerful, Kenny. It’s not something you can just ignore, no matter how hard you try. And from the way you talk, it sounds like neither of you has really moved on."
I sighed, running a hand through my hair. "I know, Matt. But I messed everything up. She won’t even look me in the eye without cursing or snarling at me. Every time I try to get close, she shuts down, like I’m a stranger. Like I’m a threat… so I’ve been acting like one."
Devon cleared his throat, clearly uncomfortable with the direction of the conversation. "Look, I’m not exactly an expert on… women, as you well know." He shot a quick glance at Matt, who rolled his eyes dramatically.
"Seriously, Devon? ‘Women’? You sound like a National Geographic documentary," Matt teased, giving his mate a playful smack on the shoulder before turning to me with a more serious look. "Kenny, listen. I’m no love guru, but I’ve seen enough to know that if you really want to fix things with Seraphine, you’re gonna need more than just apologies. You hurt her, man. And not just once. That kind of pain doesn’t disappear with a cute little ‘I’m sorry.’"
"So what do I do?" I asked, feeling frustrated. "I’ve tried talking to her, but she doesn’t trust me, and I don’t blame her."
Matt leaned forward, making me focus. "First, stop trying to fix everything with words. Words are cheap, especially after everything you’ve done. Show her you’ve changed. Actions, Kenny. You need to prove you’re different, that you’re willing to put your pride aside and really listen to how she feels. Maybe she doesn’t want to talk to you right now, and that’s okay. Give her space, but show her you’re there, that you care about her and her feelings."
Devon raised an eyebrow, clearly impressed. "That was… surprisingly wise, Kitten."
Matt shrugged. "I have my moments." He turned back to me. "Another thing: you need to be honest with yourself. Why did you act like a jerk all these years? It’s not just because the mate bond is tough. There’s something else going on, and if you don’t figure it out, you’ll keep sabotaging any chance you have with her. If you even want her."
I swallowed hard, feeling the weight of Matt’s words. He was right. My anger, my pain, my fear of being rejected by everyone, it all led me to make choices that only made things worse. "I… I think I was scared. Scared that if I gave in to the bond, she’d destroy me. So I pushed her away, but I did it in the worst way possible."
Devon nodded. "Owning up to what you did wrong is already a step. But Matt’s right. It’s not just about saying ‘I’m sorry.’ You need to show her you understand how much you hurt her and that you’re willing to do whatever it takes to earn back her trust. Even if it takes years."
"Years?" I repeated, feeling a pang in my chest, my Lycan letting out a low growl.
"Yeah, years," Matt confirmed bluntly. "Mate bonds aren’t magical enough to erase deep hurts overnight. But if she’s your mate, and you feel what I think you feel, then it’s worth it, right?"
I nodded slowly, their words swirling in my head. For the first time in a long time, I felt a glimmer of hope, mixed with the certainty that the road ahead would be long and tough.