BELLE
I hated that he was here. I hated that, as hard as I tried to ignore him and focus on my work, he was the only thing I could think of.
I was aware of his every move, of his eyes that followed me everywhere I went in the small diner.
And most of all, I hated that my traitorous body wanted nothing more than to go to him and forgive him for every single horrible thing he had ever done to me.
Because I still needed him. God, why did I still need him?
He had rejected me. He had tried to mate with someone else. There was no way to make it any clearer that he didn’t want me. So why was I still reacting this way to him?
Why was it so physically painful to stay away from him?
I grabbed the tip left for me on the table of my last customers of the night. It was dark out now, and the diner had finally cleared out, leaving only Grayson behind.
Candice and Brenda had left a few hours earlier, and the cook, who was still in the kitchen, was going to lock up after I was gone.
For the first time in several hours, I allowed myself to glance in his direction. I immediately regretted it. He was looking straight at me.
Our gazes clashed, and instantaneously, it was like a wave of warm, soothing water cascaded over me. I sucked in a deep breath as some relief came to my aching body.
Grayson had a look of worry and frustration on his face, but it softened the moment we made eye
contact.
His shoulders fell slightly. “Belle,” he mouthed, his expression turning into one of
pure torture.
I knew he wanted me to go to him. He was desperate for it. I could feel his emotions coursing through whatever remained of our bond.
Giving in, I approached him slowly, hesitantly. He watched my every move, his entire body tense as he tried to hold himself back from pouncing on me.
When I finally came to stand in front of his table, I crossed my arms securely in front of my stomach as if they would provide me with some sort of protection from the dangerous creature in front of me.
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“We’re closing now. I’m leaving.”
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Grayson’s deep green eyes dimmed a bit when he realized I wasn’t here to finally hear him out. “Okay.” He started to get out of the booth. “I’ll walk you home.”
I didn’t move. “I’m really tired,” I whispered.
Grayson frowned. “I know, baby. You need sleep. You barely got any last night.”
“No, that’s not what I meant, Grayson. I’m tired,” I repeated.
He stared at me, still not understanding.
“I don’t want to do this anymore. I don’t want you to be the only thing on my mind anymore. I had made progress, real progress before you came.
“I had started to recover from what you put me through. But now you’re here and…” I groaned. “I want to be free of you–of this hold you somehow still have on me even after everything you did to
“I want to go back to who I was before you held my heart. I’m not me anymore. I’m the version of myself that is tortured by everything you put me through.”
Grayson opened his mouth to speak.
“And I don’t want to argue,” I continued quickly, cutting him off before he could say anything. Tears began to pool in my eyes. I wiped them away before they could fall.
“Look, I know what we had…” I paused, swallowing down the massive ball in my throat. “I know what we had wasn’t what you wanted…”
Grayson growled. “That’s not-”
I interrupted him quickly. I needed to get this out. “Let me finish, or, I swear to God, I’ll kick you in the balls again.” I was completely serious; it was starting to sound like a really good option right
now.
I took a deep breath. “And I know that, as an alpha, having a mate means you get more power. So maybe the mate bond is making you regret…rejecting me because of that.”
Grayson stood and reached for me. I took a step back.
“Belle, please” he tried to say.
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No, you have to let me get this out. I need to get this out.”
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His breathing was so erratic. His eyes were black. His jaw was clenched. But he seemed to understand my need and nodded sharply for me to continue.
“We’re both hurting.” I kept going quietly. “But it’s only because of this supernatural bond between
In the end, we’re not supposed to be together. And you knew that.
“You knew that the first night I came to stay with you. It doesn’t excuse how you treated me, but you knew you didn’t want me and that I wasn’t the right mate for you.”
Grayson growled loudly, his entire body shaking. I was obviously making him upset.
“So even though I–I-“I had to look away at this point, somehow keeping myself from breaking down into gut–wrenching sobs.
“Even though I may have loved you…I don’t think you ever loved me. Not really. You just felt a connection to me because of some magical bond you had no control over.
“You felt trapped. And that’s why you acted out the way you did.”
I took a deep breath, wiping my sweaty palms on the front of my skirt. I looked back at him.
His eyes were black with the presence of his wolf, and dark hair was sprouting from his arms, letting me know that he was just barely keeping himself from shifting.
I wasn’t going to let that intimidate me into not finishing, though.
“But that’s okay. I-“I could barely even say it. “I’m letting you go. If the bond is making you feel regret over what you did to me, I don’t want you to feel that way anymore.
“In fact, I don’t want you to feel anything when it comes to me anymore.” I took a step forward. I studied his heaving chest and strained muscles. I was on thin ice, but I continued anyway.
“You know I’m not what you want. It’s why you treated me the way you did back at your pack house. It’s why you tried to mate with someone else. You were mad I ended up as your mate rightly so.”
I brought my arms tighter around me, letting my gaze stray to the window next to us, out to the small town that had become my home over the last few months.
-and
“I’m strong. I know that. I’ve gone through a lot in my life, and I’ve always been able to pick myself back up and keep going.” I looked back at him.
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“But I’m no luna. And I’m definitely not strong enough to survive what you put me through again. And, whether or not you wanted to, you would put me through it again because you don’t love me.’
**You would eventually come to resent me the same way you did a few months ago.”
I shuddered at the thought of being rejected again. Even just thinking about it made my mark burn and my heart sink.
“So I’m asking in a civilized and genuine way—no more shouting or ignoring you or begging you to leave me alone…
“If you care about me even a little bit if anything you said to me in Paris was even a little bit true -do me a favor and let me go.
“Ignore the mate bond that’s telling you you need me or that you should want me for power. Go home. Go be the alpha I know you are and find a new mate that would be better suited for you.
“You don’t need me. I would only drag you down.”
By the time I had finished, Grayson looked so close to shifting that I could practically see his face. beginning to morph into his wolf.
He was breathing deeply, his muscles had grown, dark hair was sprouting from his arms, and his irises were pitch black.
“May I speak now?” His voice was so deep that I could barely understand him.
I nodded slowly.
“Good.”
In a flash, he was in front of me, gripping my waist and slamming me to his body. I nearly moaned at the contact, reveling in how good his touch felt against my skin.
I was still shocked by how much bigger he was. He looked incredible–strong, fit, and healthier than
ever.
The time away from me really did him good, which only further proved my point that he was better
off without me.
He leaned down, so his lips were right next to my ear, his breath cool over my mark, causing me to shiver. I tried to push against him, but he was too strong.
It was clear that I wasn’t leaving his arms until he let me on
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“You’re mine, Belle,” he growled against my skin. “You have always been and will always be mine. And I will go to the ends of the earth to make sure you understand that.”
I tried to step out of his embrace, but he just tightened his arms around me. I was too tired and weak to put up a fight.
So instead, I just let the tears fall, crying silently as I fell forward until my forehead rested on his chest.
He seemed to hold his breath, waiting to see if I was going to move before wrapping his arms completely around me and pulling me impossibly closer.
I knew I should have fought harder, but it was what the bond wanted, and it felt incredibly good to give in to it even just for a moment.
Grayson was starting to calm down as his wolf slowly gave him back control. It was obviously helping to have me in his arms,
After basking in his warmth for just a few more seconds, I finally whispered into his chest, “You’re never going to let me go, are you?”
He leaned down and gently kissed the top of my head. “I think you already know the answer to that,” he murmured against my hair.
I pursed my lips together and squeezed my eyes shut, willing my tears to stop. They didn’t. I nodded. “Yeah, I do.”
It made sense, really. Life was never meant to be easy for me. I was a fool for thinking that it could
I was destined to be in love with a man who didn’t love me back, who only wanted me for the power I could give him, and who resented me because he got stuck with me.
And yet, although all of that was true, he still couldn’t seem to let me go.
“Does this mean that you’ll finally let me explain?” Grayson asked. “I promise it’ll be worth your
time.”
my eyes.
I leaned back, wiping the tears from I shook my head. “No, it doesn’t matter. No explanation will change the fact that I’m not the one for you. I can’t be your luna.”
I licked my lips, tasting the saltiness of my tears. “I have to go.”
I started to move away, but Grayson grabbed my arm. “No, no more of this. It wasn’t me who-
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His Lost Queen
Annie Whipple
surprise, he didn’t try to grab me again. “Please, please, just leave me alone.”
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X
“You know I can’t do that,” he replied in a low voice. “I’ll never be able to leave you alone. I can’t
live without you, Belle.“”
I backed away from him. “For your sake, I really hope that’s not true.”