Part One Hundred and Two

I parked my car in front of Steve’s house and I took a deep breath. I opted to come alone because I knew that this would be an emotional session. Jared loved Madison, she was his aunt, she had taken him in and cared for him. This was going to be one difficult talk.

I hated being the one to bring more grief into his life, first his mother and now his aunt. I also wouldn’t let anyone else do this. It had to be me. I had to look Jared in the eye and tell him what had happened. I also knew his anger would be directed at me.

“Hi Kage,” Steve opened the door with a smile.

“Hi, is Jared around?” I asked him.

“Yeah, he’s out back,” Steve said and opened the door for me to walk into the house.

“Steve, we should talk before you tell him I’m here,” I said as we stood in the living room.

“What’s going on?” Steve asked me.

“Madison … she killed herself,” I said and Steve’s eyes widened.

“I … how …. she seemed fine the last time we spoke,” he said and sat down on the couch.

“She left a note but I haven’t read it,” I said to him.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, Kage,” he said and I had to swallow hard to hide my own emotions.

“Do you want to tell Jared?” I asked him.

“No, he should hear it from you, shit he loved her a lot,” he said.

“I know, she loved him too,” I said.

“What’s wrong?” Jared asked and I spotted him near the dining room table.

“Jared, we need to talk,” I said to him.

“You look like someone kicked your cat or something,” he said with a cheeky smile.

“Jared, Madison …” my voice faltered.

“What about Madison?” he asked me.

“Madison died on Sunday night,” I said to him.

“How?” he asked me, his voice shaking a little bit.

“She killed herself,” I said softly.

“You son of a bitch! You left her! She’s dead because of you! You left her all alone!” Jared yelled and pushed me away from him.

“Jared!” Steve said loudly.

“It’s all your fault and I fucking hate you!” he screamed and ran up the stairs to his bedroom.

“Jared!” Steve called after him.

“Leave him, Steve, he needs to grieve in his own way and he’s probably right in blaming me,” I said.

“Kage, no, she made a choice, this is on her not you,” Steve said.

“Do you remember the first time we met, you said we were having another baby,” I said.

“I remember, I really thought you knew that she was pregnant,” he said.

“I hadn’t known, she never said a word to anyone,” I said.

“I’m sorry, Kage, Madison was complicated to say the least,” he said.

“She wasn’t sure that I was the father though, she had slept with my brother, that’s why I divorced her. Jared sent me a picture of her, thinking she was fat, but she was pregnant and I started to dig. She’d given him up for adoption, did you know that?” I asked him.

“I did, she said you both decided it was better because you were too young to be parents, so I was happy for her when you two got married, like fate had brought you together again,” he said.

“It was a boy,” I said.

“Was?”

“He died when he was four, car accident, and the really fucked up part is that they named him Kage,” I said.

“Shit, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. Jared will get better, he’s just in shock right now, he loved her a lot,” he said.

“I’ll let you know about the funeral,” I said as I stood up from the couch.

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help,” he said.

“Thanks, just look after him, he’s going to need a lot of support right now,” I said.

I left Steve’s house feeling like a complete and utter asshole. I had known that Jared wouldn’t take the news well and I’d even contemplated that he’d be angry with me, but his hate cut deep into my soul. Was I guilty? Maybe I’d been a bit harsh with her, but I’m not a liar and love isn’t something you lie about, ever.

Back at the house, Alexander and Cherise had arrived and he hugged me tightly. We took a cooler of beers up to the rooftop and sat down watching the sun glint over the buildings.

“There’s something else that I haven’t told you guys,” I said.

“You don’t have to talk unless you’re ready,” Endri said gently.

“I need to get it out because I feel guilty as hell,” I said.

They were all looking expectantly at me and Alexander nodded his head for me to continue. The truth always sets you free, but sometimes the truth also hurt so much that it was easier to hide in the unknown.

“When Madison got pregnant at eighteen, she had a reason why she didn’t tell me,” I began.

“Which was?”

“She wasn’t sure if I was the father,” I said.

“She cheated on you?” Castiel asked me.

“With Sloan,” I said.

“What the fuck,” Miles said.

“About a week before Sloan died, he told me that he did something terrible, something he’d never forgive himself for, but he never told me what,” Alexander said.

“The bottom line is whether that baby was yours or Sloan’s, we all would’ve helped her,” Endri said.

“If she’d told me I’d have raised Sloan’s baby,” I said.

“We all know that,” Castiel said.

“At the time of his birth I was just named The Ranger’s newest rising star,” I said and smiled sadly, “they named him Kage.”

“That’s twisted,” Miles said.

“Talk about the universe giving you the finger,” Castiel said and emptied his beer.

“She told Steve and her sister that I had agreed to the adoption, that I wasn’t ready for a child,” I said.

“She lied about almost everything,” Endri said softly.