CH.74:"BROTHERS"

ZAYN'S POV

We were on our last day on tour in Asia when we saw that interview of Lindy on TV with Jimmy Fallon. I was just as surprised when I saw it with Louis and Niall and how Liam had to break it to Harry. He didn’t take it well. She denied about her relationship with Harry and calling Harry a liar in front of all those people who were watching the show.

I know she must have been really hurt with all these things that happened to her and how we just recently found out that Lindy has been seriously bullied in school knowing it was Harry’s fault for going out in public and then leaving her hanging just like that.

I wanted to hit Harry for everything he has done to Lindy. She doesn't deserve all this pain and humiliation he caused to her life. I mean, she got really close to us and we look after her just as much because she's already a little sister to all of us. The lads and I know how much she loves Harry but what he did was very unforgivable and Harry deserves what he is getting now.

Louis had told us about what the management did in forcing Harry in denying Lindy to the public and scared Harry into blacklisting Lindy from entering all universities which could ruin Lindy’s education and future. Louis also mentioned how the management tried to scare Harry by putting pressure on him into telling that he is risking the band’s reputation into this little mistake he did.

Harry was dealing all of it on his own before we knew about it and I know it must have confused him. I got mad at how he denied Lindy but then he was very reasonable why he did that. He was still protecting her but I wish he could have told us and told Lindy what was going on.

It was only a few minutes left before we start the concert then I see Harry entering the dressing room again, with his phone on his hand and his eyes were red and looked swollen. He looked like he just cried and I wonder what happened this time. I walked up to him and sat down beside him on the couch but I know he was trying his best to avoid meeting my gaze.

"You okay bro?" I asked.

He just stared at his phone with empty filled glares, sniffing. I see Niall looking at me before staring at Harry, "What happened to Harry?"

He sat down beside Harry too. "What's up mate?" he asked.

"Nothing." Harry answered monotone.

"Oh don't tell me it's nothing Harry.” Niall says with his jolly voice.

“Can you just leave me alone?” Harry sounded pissed.

“Zayn and I know there’s--”

“Why can’t you just fucking leave me alone?!” Harry screams angrily so loud that it surprised all of the people in the dressing room. He stands from the couch with his fists clenched together while I glanced at Liam and Louis who were getting their hair done.

Niall glanced at me, “Sorry Harry. But we just know something is not right.”

“What’s wrong man? You know you can always tell us.” I tell him.

Harry sighs heavily with lost eyes. "I'm... I'm fine." Harry blurted.

"Have you talked to Lindy?" Liam asked while walking towards us and I don’t think bringing up Lindy would only make him grow angrier. Sometimes I wonder if Liam is even sensitive sometimes. He is literally rubbing salt on Harry’s open wound.

“Best if you talk to her man and explain things to her.” Louis adds.

"Time to get on stage now boys! C'mon!" We were called out to get ready on stage and I was getting worried for Harry because he looked undeniably sad.

We headed out of the room, fixing ourselves but Harry was just walking with a blank expression on his face. He looked dead and mortified.

In the middle of the concert, while we were all joyfully singing Happily, I looked over at the far end of the stage and my smile vanished when I saw Harry sitting down on a huge speaker.

He was waving at the fans but just like every other show he performed lately, he didn't have a smile on. This time, Harry looked really sad and there was a huge frown on his facce instead. It must have been so hard for him forcing smiles that never really meant anything. I know something happened before this concert started and I know he is damned hurt and troubled. His eyebrows were furrowed and always had this serious expression on his face. He suddenly let his head drop, bringing his hand up to his head and started massaging his scalp while squeezing his eyes shut.

Sometimes I wish the management and the people from the media will stop intervening with our personal lives. It is just too much sometimes and how the management tries to control our lives so much which enables us to enjoy doing things what we really want to do.

I called out his name off mic and the other lads noticed quickly what was going on with Harry as soon as I called out. I rushed over him and started rubbing his tensed back.

"You alright man?" I asked.

Harry started massaging his temples hard before he finally opening his eyes. "I can't do this." He said to me with sadder eyes.

Without second thoughts, I helped him get up, holding onto my arms and leading him backstage because I know something was off. We ignored all the other lads throwing questions at us as we walked backstage The second we left the limelight, Harry broke down and wept. My eyes widened in shock. He's really crying.

"What's up mate?" I asked.

He kept running his fingers through his hair and walked in little circles. He sighed heavily as he kept wiping his tears with the back of his hands. He pulled his shirt up and wiped his tears.

"It's over." He muttered with a sob on his voice.

"What? What are you talking about?" I asked.

"It's over between me and Lindy, Zayn.” he tells me and this was expected. “I called her up a while ago to fix everything and to explain but she didn’t listen to me. I understand she was mad and she felt betrayed but I just hoped that she was still into it. She ended it. We're over." He sobbed as his tears spilling out from his eyes.

No. This is not happening during our concert. Harry can't focus well and I know he won’t be able to sing the lyrics right. It will be too hard for him to finish this concert and we’re even not yet halfway through.

I shook my head and seeing Harry like this is truly a nightmare. I know it's his fault from the beginning but I have never seen him so sad and so broken. I gave him a hug and a pat on his back, hoping at least it would make him feel better. He sniffled while we pulled ourselves away from each other, wiping his tears with the back of his hand.

"Im trying so hard to be strong out there for the fans and the cameras but my heart just feels so broken right now." He muttered weakly. 

I see his tears crystallizing on his green eyes as he rubs them away quickly with his hands.

"It'll just be okay, man. Maybe both of you needs time. Come back out when you're ready." I tell him while patting his shoulder.

I walked back on stage and left him so he can have sometime to think. He wanted to be alone so I'm giving him some time off since the lads have just been reading tweets. He needed more time so I told Louis to make some other intro before our next song. The concert was a success but Harry kept forcing smiles.

After our concert at Nashville, we headed to Houston. Another new day, but Harry has been off lately. He has been quiet and spaced out since yesterday after his break up with Lindy. He has been writing on his notebook that he usually brings with him.

We were all worried of him, he hasn't talked to anyone. I told the boys about his break up, but every time we ask him about it, he doesn't answer us.

When our concert in Houston finished, all of us headed backstage feeling sadder than the usual. All of us felt devastated with what was going on between the two of them because Harry was getting worst every single day. We got our stuff and headed out of the dressing room ready to leave, until I noticed that Harry wasn't around with us.

“Where’s Harry?” I asked, worrying.

I know he's very sensible and he easily gets hurt. He's the kind of guy who's not afraid to show people that he cries. He’s the type of guy who gets all sentimental and emotional. It has been just days since his break up and he is not taking this break up lightly than the other ones he had.

All of us paused from what we were all doing since I think each one of us sensed that it's not good to leave Harry all alone by himself. Harry was not the suicidal type but we always get worried whenever he gets sad because he has never been this mournful before and it was unusual of him to stay silent mostly on tour and never speaks to anyone at all. He was keeping it all to himself, blaming himself and I didn’t want this to lead into something worst like depression.

"He said he'll be at the stage for a while." Niall answered.

"Why?" I asked.

"He didn't say why he was going there." Niall answered.

"Oh goodness, what's he going to do now?" Liam asked.

"We need to find him before he does anything to harm himself. Cmon!" Louis blurted.

We all got even more worried.

Damn it, Harry.

As soon as we headed back on stage, we found Harry lying in the middle of the platform and he was just staring at the ceiling getting all sentimental.

“Harry come on, we gotta go.” Liam called out.

“Leave me the fuck alone Liam!”

NIALL'S POV

From Houston, we went to Arlington, then to St. Louis, then Chicago and then Pasadena but everywhere we went to, Harry was dead and quiet. He didn't enjoy much the concert like how he does it when he was still with Lindy. He looked always serious during the concerts and sometimes getting lost inside his own bubble and forgetting his own lines.

It's our last stay here in Pasadena and it has probably been two weeks since their break up but Harry has gotten worst everyday. He has downer than down. Me and Louis try to make him smile with our pranks and dick jokes once in a while but he keeps on sitting in a corner all alone. He keeps staring at his phone or outside the windows. He hasn't been himself lately and during concerts, he seldom smiles to the fans. He just waves at them with his eyebrows furrowed, a blank expression and a stern look.

During most of the meet and greets after the concerts, we have to force him to smile and he has to act like he was strong even when he's dying inside. Harry is strong, he is doing all the touring despite what is going on with him and Lindy.

We haven't heard from Lindy since then and I know we should give her some space after everything that happened to her. I just felt sad that we weren’t able to be there for her and I hope she realizes that even if Harry fucked up and we weren’t able to be there when she needed us, at least she knows that we encouraged all people and other celebrities to support her.

Lindy must have been coping up with the pain too and Martha hates me for what's been happening to Lindy. She said Lindy needs space from One Direction so we didn't bother her although we are worried about her too. We do need to give Lindy some time to heal the wounds that Harold caused.

I hope Lindy's okay.

The management has gone too far this time with all the blackmailing they did to Harry and forced him to hurt Lindy and say those words in that interview. They promised that there will be no rumor that will come out as soon as Harry denies Lindy but then the next thing we knew Harry has already rekindled with Paige which was obviously not true.

But Harry, was getting even worst. He keeps crying at night and we know because of swollen eyes, he doesn't want to sleep and he doesn't want to eat anything at all. He has been getting extra moody and he just had fever these past few days getting all sickly.

"You need to eat some, Harold. Here." Liam insists.

"I'm not hungry." Harry answers dryly.

"You haven't eaten anything since lunch." I said out.

“Are you trying to kill yourself Harold?” Louis sounds like a mom.

Zayn pulled a plate full of Harry's favourite foods with it and handed it to him but Harry pushed it away from him angrily, "I said I'm not hungry!"

The lads and I were just quiet.

"Harry.” Zayn called out in his very serious tone. “You were fucking sick last night and you're still not feeling okay. You need some foods."

"I don't care. I said I'm not hungry." Harry answered quickly.

Harry stood from his seat and left the room leaving all of us silenced. All of us glanced at each other as he shuts the door loudly behind him. Carol and Lou glanced at us but we were all left in shock. They know Harry has been getting very moody lately and he was not his usual self.

"An hour from now we'll be having our concert. I'm worried about him." Liam says out loud.

"We're all worried of him Liam but he doesn't seem to listen. He looks terrible." Louis added.

"He's so lost as of the moment. He don't know what to do." I responded.

"I think I know what to do.” Zayn calls out out.

We turned out attention to him as he adds, “We should call Lindy."

Louis groans, "We tried, haven't we? She's ignoring us.”

We paused.

"I wish we could do something to help the two of them." I blurted.

"Should we set up a surprise date again?" Louis asked.

"I think that won't work out this time.” Liam answers and I agree. “Remember what the management said to him? He's not allowed to see her till the news comes off."

“For how long?” I asked.

When the concert started, we were all pumped to be here and seeing our fans but Harry was his usual silent self. When we sang You And I the entire place was literally filled with emotions. It was always soulful and the lads including me noticed that Harry was teary when we sang it with his eyebrows furrowed and a serious face. It went like every word that Harry sang, he sang it from the bottom of his heart. He meant every word from the song and it felt like he rendered it Lindy.

The place went dark and the lights from the crowd lit up the place. It was amazing. Then we sang Story Of My Life. Another beautiful song from our album. When Liam was about to introduce the third song Little White Lies, Harry interrupted and wanted to sing Nobody Compares instead. All of us agreed to it anyways to make the grumpy Harry despite the fact that it was really impromptu but the band allowed us to sing it too.

"Would the fans be alright if we sing Nobody Compares instead of Little White Lies?" Harry asked as he turned to the crowd.

He was answered in deafening shrieks of yes. "Alright. Nobody Compares goes out to those guys who made the stupidest mistake that hurt their girlfriend and caused her to break up with him. So dont do stupid mistakes, I tell you. You will have regrets later on." Harry narrated.

Liam hooks his arm on Harry's shoulders and gave Harry a smile.

The band started playing the song, I started singing my part and the crowd was singing along with me. Zayn started singing his part too. He seemed enjoying the song. It was an upbeat break-up song so all of us were swaying around.

It was Harry's part now...

“Yeah I did something stupid.” Lyric change from Harry himself.

“Yeah babe I did blew it. Just tell me what I did and let's work through it. There's gotta be someway to get you to want me like before.”

We noticed little tears in his eyes and we knew he sang it from his heart for Lindy. And then all of started belting out the chorus while walking on the stage, waving to our fans.

“’Cause no one ever looked so good in a dress and it hurts ’cause I know you won't be mine tonight. No one ever makes me feel like you do when you smile baby tell me how to make it right. Now all of my friends say it's not really worth it, but even if that's true. No one in the world could stop me from not moving on Baby even if I wanted to, nobody compares to you.”

"Thank God Harry has finally fallen asleep!" Louis exclaimed.

All of us were even more worried of him, he has gotten sicker after the concert has ended. He's shivering and he just vomited right before the meet and greet too. He even collapsed yesterday and it is really kind of alarming how he is living. We were all so tired from the concert but Harry was having hayfever again and he still didnt want to eat anything.

The band and the entire crew were all worried for Harry and we were all blaming the management for what they have done and they are not even trying to help him getting through this mess he is involved emotionally. The management is literally not giving a single fuck about what they have done. We were nervous because this was getting more and more difficult for us to handle.

"We need to call her." Zayn says as a matter-of-factly.

We stared at Zayn because we all know we should.

"She is not gonna pick up Zayn!" Louis exclaimed.

"Then we'll call again and again till she picks it up!" Zayn answered.

"It's one in the morning." I tell Zayn.

Zayn pulled out his phone and tried to call Lindy without hesitation.

Lindy didn't answer the first, second and third call.

And then finally.…

“Hey Linds.” Zayn answers as he placed her on loudspeaker.

"Zayn what do you want?" Lindy yawns and groans.

“Did we wake you?” Zayn asks.

“We?” She responds.

"I know you don’t want to talk to Harry or to any of us but please you need to hear us.” Zayn pleaded. “Harry is getting worst Lindy. You need to talk to him."

She sighs heavily. "Zayn there's nothing left to talk with Harry. Whatever Harry is doing with his own life has nothing to do with me."

"There’s still so many things to talk about. If you could just hear him out Lindy. You don’t know what Harry has been dealing with on his own.”

“I am sure he is fine.” Lindy says over the line. “I dealt with all the pain without him anyways. At least he has four guys who has his back, I only even had Martha when things got fucked up.”

“Harry is going nuts thinking about you.” I called out.

“He has not eaten since this morning. He has been having fever the past few days and he is getting more temperamental. He is sick Lindy. We had to force him to sleep and it is causing commotion and problem in the band!" Zayn exclaimed a fair point.

"What? What happened?" she asks.

"He's just dead on tour without you." Zayn answered.

She got quiet and we all waited for her to say anything. Until, "H-how long has he been like that?"

"Weeks now. We thought we could handle it but we can't. He needs you. Please Lindy. You need to hear him out this time." Zayn insists.

She didn't answer.

"I'll book a flight for you to Glendale. You both need to see each other and talk things out personally." Zayn says firmly.

"But Zayn, I'm so tired of--"

"We don't take no for an answer Lindy.” Louis interrupts. “We can't take it seeing Harry like this and I think he has not told you the real reason why he did what he did.”

"You're going to come to Glendale. Please, do it for Harry." Zayn added.