Chapter 21

"Precila! Precila!"

I was almost deafened by my father's cries of anguish. Every time he screamed, it was like stabbing my heart over and over again.

"Why?! Why didn't I know?! Why did you come home like this?!"

"King..." Grandma approached dad and led him into the house. Even Zoren and papa's private nurse helped to get him inside the house.

I was stunned and could not move my legs. It was as if I was stuck in the standing position and had lost the strength to go to see papa.

I turned to look at Aunt Matilda when she tapped me on the shoulder. She gave me a small smile.

I followed them when they brought mom's coffin inside the house.

After arranging the casket in the right place and opening it, papa came again. And this time he hugged the coffin where mom was.

"Precila! Why do you always hurt me like this? You cheated on me and left me but I still hoped you would come back to me. But it's not like this. I don't want this kind of homecoming! Why did you let yourself lie in this fucking coffin?!"

A white handkerchief caught my attention as it came in front of my face. I took it and then I looked at Zoren who was now staring at me.

I smiled slightly at him. He wet his lips and he looked back at dad who was still crying and shouting something in front of mom.

Using the handkerchief that Zoren lent me, I wiped my tears. But as soon as I wiped it off, new tears started dropping. Every time I wipe, it just grows and spreads.

I was surprised when Zoren pulled me and hugged me. I sank into his broad chest. I only cried more because of what he did. In the end, I chose to cry with him. Even though it's embarrassing, I've lost my mind. The only thing left is my sadness that I don't know how long will remain in my chest.

"It's enough that I am the one who came out bad, Melissa. Let's give your mom a break."

I looked at Papa intently when he said that. We are both sitting in the office to talk about the past.

I have a lot of questions but it seems like Papa doesn't want to answer them now, I feel like he wants to protect Mama. I'm confused. I don't know which of them is lying.

"Pa! I'm the one who can't be quiet," I protested.

Dad nodded.

Grandma put two glasses of juice on the table in front of me and dad but my eyes stayed on dad. I tried to find an answer for every reaction on his face. Even though I know the only answer to my questions is every word that comes out of his mouth.

"Mel, I love your mom so much..." Dad's voice shook again, He was crying again but he was trying to steady himself for me.

"You two are my life."

"Then why did you let us go?"

"I stopped him, Mel. But I will only get worse in your eyes if you stay here at home."

"Pa, Mama is dead. Can you stop lying? I'm confused!" My voice is getting louder because of the frustration I feel.

"Your mom has another man, Melissa!" Papa couldn't stop himself from yelling which made my eyes widen.

He started crying again.

"We are not his first family. You are not his only child. He had a previous wife and children that he left for us."

"Pa..." I stood up while shaking my head.

I feel a mixture of anger and pain. Why am I only now finding out about all this? Why did he just tell me now? Why now that mom is no longer there to present proof for me to believe and accept all of this.

"Don't insult Mama!"

"Melissa, I'm not insulting your mom! I love your mom!"

"NO! YOU'RE A LIAR! YOU'RE SLAMMING HER FROM ME! I'M MAMA'S ONLY CHILD! WE ARE HER ONLY FAMILY!"

"Melissa, no!" full of stubbornness insisted by papa. "You have siblings. She has another family. And that's where you should have brought her home!"

"Pa!"

"She shouldn't be here, Melissa."

My whole body was shaking. I closed my eyes tightly and let my tears fall. I just wanted them to run out until I couldn't cry again.

"You're always such a liar."

I took a step back.

"Melissa..."

"YOU'RE A LIAR! YOU'RE A LIAR!"

I turned my back on him and ran out of the house. I ran away, away from them all. I want to escape from all this pain.

I wish we had stayed in Manila, I wish I hadn't fulfilled my mother's wish to be buried here.

Does she want to go home, to return to her real family?

I ran a few meters before I was able to sit on the gutter. I was out of breath from running while crying.

"Mel!"

I gasped violently when I heard Zoren's call. My eyes went sharp as I looked back at him.

"Why did you leave?"

"Can you?! Leave me alone for now?! And why are you here? If you're here to pity me, just leave! I don't need your pity!"

I looked away. I violently wiped away my tears that were still falling.

"Your father is worried—"

"Go away! I don't want to talk to anyone right now."

"Fine. I'll stay silent here."

"I want to be alone."

He extended his two hands directly to where I was.

"You're alone there. I'll stay away from you. Don't mind me here."

I violently heave out a sigh.

"Please, Zoren."

He stared at me for a long time before taking a deep breath.

"Fine, Melissa..."

He turned his back on me and walked back home. I thought he would continue but he stopped not far from me.

"I'M TEN METERS AWAY NOW! I THINK THIS IS ENOUGH! I WON'T HEAR YOU CRY SO IT'S OKAY TO CRY! JUST CRY IT OUT, MELISSA!" he shouted.