Chapter 27 Pain and Strength
Aiyana's P.O.V
Pain was not poetic.
It was not graceful or beautifully brutal like people in stories made it sound. Pain was ugly, sharp and humiliating.
It burned through muscles you didn’t know you had and exposed every weakness you swore you could hide.
By the second hour of training, I was already regretting every brave word that had left my mouth that morning.
Every. Single. One.
My back hit the ground hard again, breath exploding from my lungs in a wheeze I couldn’t stop. Dust flew into my eyes. The sky above me blurred into a swirl of gray and blue and shame.
“Up.”
Gerald’s voice was no longer playful.
No teasing. No jokes. No charming grins.
Just command.
I tried to push up. My arms trembled violently, shaking like leaves in a storm. Muscles screamed in protest. My palms burned from impact. My ribs ached from the last time I hadn’t gotten out of the way fast enough.
“I said up.” He ordered again and I swear if I could punch the hell out of him, I would.
“I am…” My voice cracked as I tried again, collapsing halfway. “Trying.”
Gerald crouched beside me.
“You don’t try in a fight, Aiyana.” He said coldly. “You do. Or you die.”
That shut me up.
Tears burned behind my eyes but I swallowed them back. Crying here wouldn’t save me. It wouldn’t soften him. It wouldn’t make this any easier.
I forced myself up with a broken sound and staggered into position again.
We were in the open yard, gravel beneath my bare feet, the wind cold against sweat-soaked skin.
I had been dressed in simple black training clothes, no chains, no guards hovering close, but I had never felt less free in my life.
Gerald circled me slowly.
“Again.”
He moved without warning.
A strike to my side I felt before I saw. My body folded with a cry I couldn’t stop. The impact stole my balance, sending me crashing down yet again.
My vision swam this time.
“That was late,” he said flatly. “You hesitated.”
“I’m not t- trained” I gasped as I tried to bring out wires from my mouth.
At this point, my bones burned and my lungs felt like they were giving up on me.
“And your enemy will care?” His voice sharpened. “Donga’s men didn’t hesitate when they broke you. The Cortez gang didn’t hesitate when they tried to kill you. Why are you expecting mercy now?”
Every word landed like another blow.
I curled slightly on the ground, chest heaving, lungs burning.
This wasn’t about teaching me to fight.
This was about stripping weakness from my bones.
“I shouldn’t have done this.” The thought slipped free before I could stop it. “I can’t do this.”
Gerald’s foot tapped lightly against my ankle.
“You don’t get to quit just because it hurts,” he said. “Pain means you’re awake.”
I dragged myself up again, trembling uncontrollably now. My entire body felt like it had been pulled apart and stitched back together wrong.
When he lunged again, I tried to block.
Tried.
My arms moved slow, my timing off. He caught my wrist easily and twisted. Not enough to break, but enough to teach, and as much as I tried to be the string warrior he wanted me to be, I'm couldn't help but cry out sharply, with pain lancing white-hot up my arm.
“Too soft.” He said calmly, releasing me. “You defend like someone who is still hoping not to be hurt.”
My knees nearly buckled.
I wasn’t hoping.
I was terrified.
By the end of training, I couldn’t feel my hands. My legs shook violently beneath me. Sweat soaked through my clothes, hair tangled and plastered to my face.
Gerald finally stepped back.
“Good.” He said.
I stared at him in disbelief. “Good?”
“You’re still standing…” He replied with a smirk. “That’s good enough for day one.”
Day one.
The words nearly broke me.
He walked away without another word, leaving me swaying in the yard like a wounded animal pretending not to be dying.
The moment he vanished through the doors, my legs gave out.
I collapsed to the ground and finally let the sobs come.
Silent. Violent. Uncontrollable.
This was what I asked for.
This was what strength cost.
And I hated it.
I barely made it back to my room before my body shut down. Every inch of me ached. Bruises bloomed beneath my skin like dark flowers. I collapsed onto the bed without removing my shoes.
I didn’t even realize I had fallen asleep.
Until I felt his presence.
I woke to warmth.
Not physical at first—but emotional.
Call me crazy but there was a shift in the air, a pressure in the room that my body recognized even through exhaustion.
Jerome.
I opened my eyes slowly.
He stood near the door, completely still, dressed in black like always.
His jaw was locked tight.
His hands were clenched at his sides.
His eyes which were usually unreadable, were dark with something violent and restrained.
He wasn’t looking at my face.
He was looking at the bruise blooming along my collarbone.
Then my scraped knuckles.
Then the faint discoloration at my jaw.
The room filled with something dangerous.
“What happened to you?” He asked quietly. A quiet that meant everything but calm and I couldn't help the fear that flickered inside me.
It wasn't the first time I had heard that calm tone, but I had learned what it hid.
“I… I trained.” I whispered, feeling a little embarrassed for some reason, and looking down at my feet as his gaze was a little too intense for me right now.
His gaze snapped to mine.
“Trained.” He repeated with a crunch in temple that showed confusion.
“With Gerald.” I admitted, and immediately, the air shattered.