Chapter 89. An arrival
Jackson Johnson
I closed my eyes. My teeth clenched in anger. Voicemail again. When I opened them, I shook my head. Lilly must have been upset about my absence during the day and now at the last minute for dinner. I understood, but I needed a bit of personal space. The phone rang, and I realized it was my mother. I slid the button to answer.
"Tell me," I answered in a low tone.
"What’s going on? Lilly was supposed to have arrived, but then Richard said she left. Where are you? Why haven’t you shown up? Did you two have a fight?"
"No, Mom. I won’t be able to make it, and she wasn’t feeling well. I’m sorry for not showing up and..." she interrupted my sentence.
"So unwell that she had to leave on foot? Do you know the risks she could face?" I pinched the bridge of my nose.
"I know, I'm on it. Enjoy the dinner."
"Jacob brought his date, and it turns out to be Leah Bradley, Lilly’s sister. She was also surprised not to see her sister."
"Mom, I have to go."
"Jackson, please, don’t shut yourself in your bubble. Whatever it is, don’t do it."
"Fine. Good night..." and I ended the call. I leaned back on the couch where I was sitting, took off my tie, and tossed it on the glass table in front of me. Then I saw her picture printed on the brochure again.
"Sir, dinner is ready," said the housekeeper.
"Thank you, you can go now." She left, and I was finally alone. In the living room. Staring at the photo of Arya Rajak smiling. I had heard the news that her surgery had gone well, but unexpectedly, her heart stopped beating. The funeral was something I never thought I’d attend. Even Maxima was there with her partner, but they didn’t approach me, and I was grateful for that. Besides being her last request that I attend, her parents – skeptical – had thanked me a lot. I had spent the entire afternoon with them looking at the photos in their city house that Arya had bought. They told me that after that incident in school, Arya had returned to India, and on several occasions, she tried to travel to New York to find me. That had caused many problems with them, so they knew exactly who Jackson Johnson was.
Her mother had cried inconsolably. Although they were aware that there wasn’t much chance, they held on to hope. The lump in my throat had grown; if only I had let her get closer.
"He would have... doesn't exist, Jackson."
I tried calling Lilly again, but she kept sending me to voicemail. It was too late to take the car and head back to the city when I had just arrived. I couldn’t think straight, even though I had a strong need to be with Lilly. I didn’t want her to see me like this. After so many years, the pain Arya had caused me, her departure had affected me. My mind replayed the moment she left my office that day. It was a real goodbye; her words were real, just like mine. I let out a sigh. I was mentally exhausted. So I decided to disconnect from everything and recharge. I dialed Richard’s number.
"Yes, sir?" I heard his voice, slightly filled with concern.
"What’s the news? Did she get home safe and sound?"
"She ordered a car and got in. We were following her, but at the last minute, she changed direction, and we lost her."
"What?" I jumped up from my seat. "I only asked you to make sure she got home safely."
"Let me tell you the young lady was very upset." I felt a pang in the pit of my stomach. "She wouldn't let the driver take her back home. Before she left, she left a message for you." I closed my eyes. "Tell your boss that he should at least have the decency to tell me directly that he wouldn't come." Then she walked away, wanting to be alone, but we gave her space while making sure she was okay. As soon as she got into the car, she changed direction for some reason.
"Send one of your men to her building. I need to know she's okay."
"Yes, sir." I ended the call.
"Where are you, Lilly?"
A while later, I took a shower and changed to have dinner on the terrace. The night was cold, and I hadn't heard from Lilly yet. I was thinking about finishing dinner and heading back to the city to go straight to her place. I was going to skip the meal, but I hadn't eaten all day. The doorbell rang. It must be Joey, one of Richard's men, who had said he would drop off my laptop and other things I left at the office. I opened the door and felt a shiver run through every inch of my body. Instead of being happy, I was furious.
"Do you know that Richard has been looking for you all over the damn city?" She didn't say anything, just looked at me.
"Why have you been hiding from me all day?" I looked past her, and the car was waiting.
"Lilly," I grabbed her arm to pull her inside, but she gently pulled away. "Come in."
"Answer me. Why have you been hiding from me? Isn't communication essential?"
"Come in," I ordered, but she refused.
"I just came for an answer to the question that's been haunting me all day. Why haven't you texted me? Why haven't you called? Why do you have to send Richard when you can tell me yourself? My God, when did I decide to come to you just because you didn't call or text me for a single day?" That last question was more to herself. "I can't believe I'm one of those women who do this..."
"Please, come in." I signaled one of the men to take care of the car. This time, I took her arm and pulled her inside. Despite her reluctance, she came in. Before closing the door, I gave instructions to one of the staff. When I turned back, Lilly had taken the brochure and I saw her eyes widen. She brought a hand to her chest and then looked at me.
"Jackson." The way she said my name made my heart pound with an intensity that surprised even me. "I'm so sorry..." She approached me, and I accepted her embrace. As I felt her body wrap around mine, I relaxed, even felt a sense of peace. "I'm so sorry... I didn't know."
"I know." I kissed her hair and we separated.
"I know that..." She stopped. "...this was someone who marked your life. I'm sorry."
"Thank you," I couldn't speak; the lump in my throat was too big.
"I'll leave, I'll let you be. I don't know why I came here..."
"Because you wanted to know if I was okay." Her brown eyes looked at me intently with surprise. "Because you care about my silence, my distance, and not knowing what's going on." I took her face and lifted it slightly toward me. "Honestly, I..." I frowned, saying it out loud, "...have the bad habit of shutting myself in my own bubble, pushing away the people who care about me, because I don't like them to see me like this." She placed her hands on my arms and softened her gaze.
"My love, it's a very human part of us, and we don't have to be ashamed of it." I couldn't say anything else. Her words struck deep in my soul. I just gave her a quick kiss on the lips and then hugged her, inhaling her scent and getting lost in her.
Lilly was bringing out a part of me I didn't even know...