Chapter 53. Deseo
Jackson Johnson's House - Sanctuary - The Hamptons
Jackson Johnson
How could I stop after what I had just experienced? How could I tell my heart not to beat like that for her? I knew the risks if I let everything flow without putting up my barriers.
"What are you thinking?" she had curled up in her spot, but with her head resting on my chest. "Your heart is still racing." I couldn't say anything at that moment. "I know it's too soon, that I just got out of a years-long relationship and have only been single for four weeks." Then she shifted and peeked out from her hiding place. "I don't want you to think I'm easy." I closed my eyes, starting to get irritated. When I opened them, I shook my head, clenching my jaw. I ran my hands along her back, rhythmically caressing her with my fingers.
"Why do you have to put yourself down like that?" She blushed at my words. "Is there always a set time after ending a relationship? Is it forbidden to date someone after a certain period? Who the hell makes the rules about how one should act after...?" I stopped my words, realizing I was getting worked up. She shifted again to sit as she was before, straddling me, and placed her hands on the back of the couch where I was lying.
"I'm not putting myself down; I just don't know what men really think."
"What should matter is how you feel. If you want it, just go for what you want. If you desire..." She pressed her lips against mine, her kiss soft and tender. Before ending it, she caught my lower lip and gently tugged on it. When she pulled away, she smiled, her hair cascading over me like a waterfall.
"I want you, Jackson." I raised my eyebrows in surprise at her confession. "But, I know since it's your first time..."
"Don't say it out loud, it sounds ridiculous..." I murmured in a low tone, trying not to blush, but I knew I was red.
"It's not ridiculous, it's something... special. Just like it is for women, it's special for us too." I moved my hands to her waist, then to her hips. I started to like the curves there.
"Well," I cleared my throat and finally looked into her brown eyes. "If I decide... to lose it with you..." She smiled broadly. "Wait, I want you to want it too."
"Do you think I don't want it right now?" she laughed. "I'm about to rip that shirt off you and pull down your pants and..."
"Stop. It sounds weird hearing that from you, I don't usually talk about these things, much less in my head..."
"Jackson, it's normal, it's intimacy between two people." She began to move slowly, my body responding to the simple friction. "But it will take time," she stopped. "I understand, I also needed time to..."
"Don't mention it. I don't want to hear that another man touched you like I'm doing right now," I slid my hands under her buttocks, and she gasped with excitement. I moved to the edge of her pants, and she sharply inhaled. My fingers slipped in, touching skin to skin, and she closed her eyes, enjoying my caresses. I noticed when her hand slid down my chest, slipping inside my shirt, her hands were warm, very warm, quite warm, I'd say.
"Do you want another round?" I smiled weakly, wanting it too much.
"I'd love another, more than you can imagine. But I want you to eat something..."
"Do you think I'm hungry right now?" she smiled.
"If we keep going like this, we won't stop, you said it yourself at the beginning."
"Fine, let's eat something..." She began to move to get off me. But I couldn't let her go, I desired her, and I didn't care that this was our first real date. I grabbed her wrist and pulled her back, making her laugh. She fell on me, and we looked at each other in complete silence for a moment. I brushed the hair away from one side of her face.
"I want to do it," I said sincerely.
"Don't you want something special because it's your first time?"
"What if instead of making my first time special... we make every time we do it special, you and I? Not just once." She took a breath, held it for a moment, then released it slowly. Her gaze softened in a way filled with an emotion I couldn't identify, maybe excitement? Happiness?
"That's beautiful, Jackson."
"See what you make me do?" She leaned in to kiss me, but it was a passionate kiss, full of desire, and I matched it with equal intensity. I heard our moans, our hands touching each other with desperation, as if the damn world was about to end. I moved to position myself between her thighs and grabbed her firmly by her buttocks. I lifted her with me, Lilly wrapped her arms around my neck, her legs around my waist. Carefully, I guided us to the second floor, without stopping our kisses. It was difficult, but we didn't want to break our connection. I stopped at the top of the stairs and pressed her against the nearest wall, kissing her more intensely as I heard her moan into my mouth. I had to stop, tilting my head back slightly to look into her eyes.
"Once we enter my room, you won't be able to leave, Lilly..." With her reddened lips, expectant eyes, flushed cheeks, and heavy breathing, she just nodded, until a smile appeared.
"Come on, I want to hear you say my name..."