Chapter 27. Bipolarity
Lilly Bradley
"Go crazy," those words were permission to do what I had been longing to do. I didn't know when or how, but I really wanted it at that moment. I grabbed his suit lapels and pulled him towards me to capture his lips. There was something indescribable about the way he kissed. It was as if he had never kissed anyone before, reminding me of my first kiss. His lips moved softly and tenderly against mine. I felt his hand on my waist, sliding to the other side, pulling me closer to his body. Then I felt a bulge against my stomach, and I released a gasp of excitement against his mouth. This was crossing a line between us. How would we see each other at work on Monday? I placed my hands on his chest and ended the kiss. He barely opened his eyes, and I could see the dark ring dilate in them.
"I..." the words didn't come out.
"I'm sorry," he stepped back as if he barely understood what was happening, bringing his fingers to his mouth and trying to control his breathing. "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable."
"You didn't," I tried not to smile. "I liked it..." He raised an eyebrow. "But... someone could see us."
"Do you... want to go back to the party?" He seemed so innocent that I wanted to kiss him again, but I had to learn to separate personal from work, or it would cause problems in the future. Distracted, I adjusted my hair.
"Honestly, no," I was excited by the moment, but my judicious mind ruined what I was really enjoying. "But," I cleared my throat, feeling my cheeks flush. I touched my face with my hands. "I don't know." He stepped closer, then reached out to tuck my hair behind my ear. That touch was so warm that just skin-to-skin contact didn't let me think about anything else. He withdrew his hand, then leaned in to leave a kiss on my lips and pulled away.
"I don't know what's happening to me. I'm sorry if I made you uncomfortable..." I wanted more than just a kiss. He had awakened heat, desire, and excitement in me with just that kiss! But I also attributed it to the way his dark eyes looked at me, his touch, and his possessive way of pulling me close. Oh my God, I'm in trouble!
"Well, I pulled you in to kiss you. I think I'm the one who doesn't know what's happening. I think it would be better if we went back to the party. Otherwise, I might do something that would make you avoid me more than you already do. Besides, I'm not like this. I'm well-behaved, I don't do this with someone from work. Well, I've never been one to..." I nervously adjusted my hair back. "You understand."
"I understand. I don't do this either," he gestured between us. "I'm the opposite. I'm reclusive, addicted to being alone. I'm not interested in sharing my life or my privacy with anyone... I'm not good company." I raised an eyebrow.
"What? But why? At first glance, you seem like a good man who could have any woman at his feet. Tons of them! You're attractive, very much so. Besides, you have everything to drive a woman crazy..." He smiled but then shook his head.
"I prefer to be alone." Those three words moved me. They made me think about the way he kissed. Jackson didn't know how to kiss or lacked practice, or maybe I was his first kiss, but I doubted it. He was around thirty, he should have had a fair share of women, but he wasn't a womanizer at all. His first kiss? It reminded me of my first time. "Do you want to go back to the party?" he asked, pulling me out of my silence.
"I need to freshen up a bit," I said, running a hand from my neck to the nape.
"Alright, there's a bathroom on this floor, I'll take you." I nodded and walked behind him. We reached the end of a hallway, and he opened the door. As we entered, he turned on the light, and I realized it was someone's room by the bed, the rock posters, and other things I didn't recognize, as well as trophies. He walked to another door and let me through. "This is the bathroom," he announced. I thanked him and entered. As I closed the door, I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding. My God, it was hot! I looked at my reflection in the large mirror and saw my cheeks were flushed. It couldn't be from the champagne because that buzz had worn off after the confrontation with Georgina downstairs. "That blush is from Jackson's kiss, admit it, Lilly." I smiled foolishly at myself in the mirror. But what was happening with that man? We had started off on the wrong foot, and now...
"Is everything okay?" I heard his rough voice from the other side of the door.
"Yes, I'll be out in a moment." I turned on the faucet and washed my hands, then splashed some water on the back of my neck to cool down. I fixed my hair and finally stepped out of the bathroom. He had his back to me, looking out the window, his hands in the pockets of his dress pants. I tried to control my breathing before speaking. "I'm ready," I announced. "I can go back to the party by myself; you don't need to accompany me." He turned to me slowly.
"As you wish." The tone he used had changed drastically to one loaded with coldness and distance.
"Is something wrong?" I noticed the tension in his jaw.
"No. Nothing's wrong, Miss Bradley." I hesitated to keep asking, but the curiosity about his shift from informal to formal was too strong. Now it was "Miss Bradley." Maybe he realized we were doing something wrong? So, I acted differently than I normally would. My mood plummeted.
"Then, goodbye," I said with an ironic smile at his change before turning my back to leave the room. I grabbed the doorknob to open it, but he blocked it, slamming it shut. I looked up and saw his hand pressed against the door.
"Is that it? You're just going to say 'Then, goodbye'?" I let out a huff and turned slowly to face him in my spot, but this time I looked up at him without letting myself be intimidated. He still had his hand against the door to prevent me from leaving.
"Mr. Johnson, it seems you suffer from bipolar disorder and are unaware of it, but I don't have time to guess when you'll be kind or distant, calling me 'Lilly' and then switching to 'Miss Bradley,' so I'd better go. Good night..." He didn't like what he heard. His hand moved to my chin, lifting it toward him.
"Look at what you've done to me. You make me doubt, me! Jackson Johnson! No one does that. I...," he frowned, "Are you a... manipulator?" My eyes widened at his question.
"Even though your question offends me, the answer is: No." I brought my hand to his that was holding my chin. "Good night, Mr. Johnson." I removed his fingers roughly, pushed him subtly, and opened the door to leave. I walked down the hallway, all confused by the heated moment, only to then encounter that winter in his dark eyes.
"Definitely, Jackson Johnson was a very... peculiar man, and I needed to stay away."