Chapter 118. An appointment
Lilly Bradley
The shower water ran while I sat on the floor, drenched in my pajamas, my back pressed against the cold tile wall. My hair stuck to my skin, my mind replaying the intimate moments I'd had with Jackson—his smile, the way he looked at me. I caressed my lip with my thumb, slowly and repeatedly, accepting that I wouldn't be able to tear him from my heart or my skin. No matter how much distance I put between us to heal his distrust, he would always be there, in my dreams, making me yearn for him like I never would for anyone else. Then, finally, the tears began to fall, mixing with the water running down my face.
"Didn't you go down the drain?" I heard Leah say from afar. "I'm coming in." She entered and pulled back the curtain, saw me, and raised her eyebrows. "Tell me you're not crying," she whispered, stepping under the shower with me. "Lilly..."
"I'm fine," I said, trying to sound convincing, but Leah knew me.
"Liar." She took my hand.
"You're getting soaked," I whispered.
"So are you, so it doesn't matter," she said with a faint smile. "I was saying that sooner or later, you'd let out what you've been holding in. Your tough stance with yourself and Jackson... it's extreme."
"Are you going to defend him?" I sobbed. She shook her head.
"But he moved me. You should have seen his face when I told him he couldn't see you when you were in the hospital," she paused. "Jacob told me Jackson had been locked in his attic these past two days, drinking like the world was ending." I looked at her, wiping my face from the water. I raised my hand to turn off the water. "His mother had to cross the line for the first time in her son's life to get him out of there. He finally went to work today, but Jacob says he's worried."
"Leah..." I knew where she was going, but she signaled me to say nothing.
"I know you're determined, but... can I be honest?" I didn't answer. "I will anyway," she extended her hand to brush hair from my forehead. "I know Jackson doubted you for a moment," my lower lip trembled. "And a part of you broke." She got closer to me, then put her arm around my shoulders, resting her head on mine. "We were raised to believe that trust is an important pillar, and we embraced it fiercely, but... we were also raised to believe that everyone makes mistakes because we're human, that we're not perfect, and that we deserve a second chance if our heart dictates it." She paused briefly. "What does your heart say? But be honest with yourself, Lilly." I bit my lip, running my hands over my wet face.
"I love him." Those two words, said aloud, made me shiver. It was the first time I'd said it, thought it, felt it. "I love him, Leah."
"And what are you going to do?" Leah asked, standing up carefully, then looking down at me as I remained seated on the wet shower floor.
"Heal together." She smiled. What followed made me get up, put on dry clothes, get ready. Before I knew it, I was in front of his building with my heart racing, pounding like I'd run a long marathon. The knot in the pit of my stomach grew so much that I almost backed out, but I refused to. I entered the building, and the manager recognized me and smiled.
"Good evening, Miss Bradley," he greeted kindly.
"Good evening. Is Mr. Johnson here? I want to surprise him," I said excitedly.
"Let me confirm with the evening staff. I just arrived." While he went to get information, I thought carefully about what I would say. My fingers played distractedly with one of my damp strands of hair. I didn't want to waste more time, which is why I hadn't dried it before leaving home. "They confirm he's here, but it seems he has a visitor." I frowned.
"Oh," I thought it might be Jacob or his parents. "Can I go up? I won't take long."
"I could get in trouble..." he confessed.
"I'll explain it to him when I talk to him, but it's really important." He hesitated, but he'd seen me with Jackson before.
"Okay, but tell him I refused adamantly, but you convinced me." I smiled when he winked, and the elevator doors opened for me to go up.
"Thank you!" I entered and pressed the button for the top floor. The doors closed, and I was excited, nervous, but I knew my heart wouldn't stay silent any longer. We'd talk about giving ourselves a second chance, that I truly loved him, that the distance between us would be gone, that we'd heal together... The elevator doors opened, and Richard appeared, pale, surprised. "Richard..." He stepped into the elevator to prevent me from crossing the doors. "What? What's wrong?" I asked, confused.
"It's not a good time, please Miss Bradley." I pulled my arm away so she would let me pass. I wasn't leaving without talking to Jackson. I heard her call me, but I kept going. I crossed the foyer and stopped when I saw him.
"What are you doing here?" Jackson asked, astonished.
"We need to talk, and I won't leave until we do." Then I heard the sound of heels on the dark marble.
"Lilly…" he stammered.
"I thought everything was already settled, Jackson. I understand that because of your good heart, you didn't send her where she deserves to be for what she did, but having the nerve to come to your house? That's the last straw." The woman who appeared walked over to Jackson and stopped by his side, picking up the wine glass that was on the living room table. My heart pounded so hard I thought it might burst out of my chest.
"I'll handle it." Jackson said, smiling at the red-haired woman beside him. "I don't know why you've come," he turned his gaze to me, still rooted to the spot, trying to comprehend what I was witnessing. I felt Richard arrive at my side, but I couldn't move or react to his words. "I'll fire the person who let you up," he placed the wine glass back on the table and looked at Georgina Vans, who was staring at me with one eyebrow raised. What happened next, I didn't see coming: he took her chin with his fingers to turn her face toward him. "I'll be back soon." Then he kissed her crimson lips, and I felt the ground shake beneath my feet. He then walked towards me.
"You should let your staff escort her out; she's interrupted our date." But it was too late. Jackson was beside me and took my elbow.
"I know, just this once, I'll do it myself. Have a seat, I'll be back in a moment." When I finally processed what was happening, Jackson had entered the elevator with me. He signaled to Richard, who nodded. The elevator doors closed in front of us. I closed my eyes and felt the tears fall down my cheeks.
"Tell me this is a joke, that..." my voice broke, and I couldn't continue. I still felt his warm fingers on my skin. I tried to pull away, but he prevented it.
"You shouldn't have come," he muttered through gritted teeth.
"I wanted to tell you something, but I see it's no longer necessary." I turned my gaze away from him. Jackson stared intently at the elevator numbers. "Have you replaced me so quickly?" I whispered, trying not to break down even more.
"Did you want me to keep begging for forgiveness that it was clear you wouldn't give?" He stopped speaking, pressed his lips together, his jaw tensed, then he turned his face towards me. "Besides, you're going back to London, right?" My lower lip trembled. "That's how things are, Lilly. And I'm informing you now that you don't need to return to the company. I'll send Richard with the documents for you to sign to finalize your relationship with the company. The money you're owed will be deposited into your account." He returned his gaze to the numbers, the doors opened, and he stepped out of the elevator, but I couldn't. He turned towards me with a frown. "I'll escort you to the car."
"And my name? I said I wouldn't leave until it was cleared..."
"Your name will be cleared in a couple of days, that's what I swear I'll do. I'll hold a press conference and reveal who has tarnished your name. In the meantime, the further away you are from everything that causes you stress, the better. That way, your family will be more at ease." I wiped a hand across my cheek.
"Is that all?" I bit the inside of my cheek.
"What more did you want?" He approached and put his hand out to stop the doors from closing. "I've hurt you, lost the trust you had in me. These days I've been alone and thinking, I knew it was for the best, each going our own way, and if it's far from each other, even better."
"I can't believe what I'm hearing…" I whispered, stepping out of the elevator. I walked towards the exit, and he grabbed my arm to turn me towards him.
"Can't believe what?" I noticed a glimmer in his eyes.
"I thought I could fix it… I really wanted to… I came and..."
"What did you want, Lilly?" he whispered. I looked into his eyes for a moment, then I accepted it.
"It doesn't matter what I want anymore." I pulled away from his grip. "Thank you for everything, for the moments we shared. I'll always carry them with me wherever I go." I noticed his expression change. "You should go back to your date, she's waiting. Goodbye, Jackson." I avoided him and walked to the glass doors. I reached the sidewalk and raised my hand to hail the taxi that was a few meters away. I got in and without looking back at the building, I asked the driver to go. We entered the traffic, and I looked at my phone's screen. The wallpaper was of Jackson and me watching the sunset at his house in the Hamptons. "You have to be strong, Lilly, really strong from now on…"