Chapter 68 Chapter Sixty-Four
Demi’s point of view
Morning came quietly.
I woke up to the sound of movement somewhere in the house, probably Chris's dad in the kitchen, I heard the cupboards opening and closing, the low hum of a normal day beginning.
For a few seconds, I didn't remember where I was, just that the bed wasn't mine and the room smelled faintly of laundry detergent and something citrusy.
Then I remembered.
Alex.
Claire.
Having sex with Chris
Chris confessing his feelings for Kyle.
Chris was lying beside me, breathing evenly, one arm flung above his head like he always slept without a care in the world.
I stared at the ceiling and waited for regret to hit.
It didn't.
What I felt instead was tired.
Being here hadn't fixed anything, but it had softened the edges.
For the first time since Alex started dating Claire, I didn't wake up with that sharp stab of panic in my chest.
Chris shifted beside me, blinking awake.
"Hey you," he said, voice rough with sleep.
"Hey Chris." I spoke lowly, I was still very sleepy.
We lay there for a moment, the quiet not awkward, just... honest.
Whatever had happened between us the night before didn't feel like something that needed explaining.
It had been comfort.
Nothing more.
Nothing less.
And he was in love with Kyle so there wasn’t much to talk about.
Well except me asking him out. God I’m such a loser, I was so annoyed, so irritated with Alex being with Claire I stupidly asked out one of my closest friends.
And if he had said yes it wouldn’t have been fair because I was just using him to get over this feeling.
"You hungry?" he asked eventually.
"You know I am," I replied, and that earned a small smile.
At breakfast, his dad-Gregg- greeted me like I was a regular.
Asked if I wanted eggs, I said yes and he made us some eggs, pancakes and turkey bacon.
He asked how school was going, I told him how I was passing my classes and I was hoping to get a scholarship into the university of my dreams.
He had asked me if I were going to pursue football but I told him no, I wasn’t really into the sports to be honest, I only joined for Alex and my heart was never fully invested in the sport.
It struck me how easily I fit into this space, how unremarkable it felt to just exist without being on edge, without worrying about who might see me sitting too close to someone, or what it meant.
I realized, distantly, that with Alex, i usually have to pretend, unlike here, Alex’s parents just saw me as Alex’s best friend, as the child to their friends. But here, Chris’s fathers knew he and I had something going on, though we never told them, it was obvious to them.
With Chris, I could breathe.
After we ate, we retreated back to his room. He flopped onto his bed, staring at the ceiling the same way I had earlier.
"So," he said. "About last night."
I tensed instinctively.
"I meant what I said," he continued quickly. "About Kyle. And about... not being able to give you more than friendship."
"I know," I said. And I did. "Im sorry I even tried to get with you, I was just trying to get Alex out of my mind, and you were the closest person I could think of."
He nodded, but then raised his brow. "So you wanted to use me."
I shrugged. "At the beginning, but who knows. Maybe I would have fallen in love with you"
That earned a quiet laugh, but it faded fast.
“You and I know Alex will always be in that heart and stubborn head of yours, he’s never leaving, at least not any time soon”
“You’re right, I don’t know what I was thinking” I said
"I don't know what I'm doing," Chris admitted. "With Kyle. With everything."
I turned onto my side to face him. "Do you want to be with him? Do you want him to know how you feel?"
“I want to be with him, I really do” he said before he let out a sad sigh, “but I don’t know if that’s what I really want”
My heart ached at the look on Chris’s face, I was so used to him being the cheerful person, the one who knew how to help, the one who I can go for help and now it’s my turn to be that for him.
"I'll help you," I said. "With Kyle. However you need."
He studied me for a long moment. "You don't have to."
"I want to."
And I meant it.
“Thank you Demi” he said leaning in to peck my lips.
.
.
.
The next few days blurred together in a way that felt strange and new.
Chris and I started spending more time together, studying, driving home, sitting on his bed listening to music while he talked about Kyle in that hesitant, careful way people talk about someone they're afraid to want too much.
Kyle was a complicated person, everyone knew that.
But he was also very kind.
And unfortunately very oblivious in the way that hurt the most.
I listened.
I offered advice when he asked for it.
But I didn't push.
And somewhere in the middle of all that, I noticed something else.
I wasn't thinking about Alex as much.
The thought startled me at first, hit like guilt.
But when I examined it, I realized it wasn't that I didn't care anymore.
It was that my world was expanding again.
Slowly.
Carefully.
Making room for something that wasn't just loss.
At school, the shift became obvious.
Chris and I walked together now. Sat together.
Laughed quietly at shared jokes that had nothing to do with anyone else.
People noticed, of course.
"You two are close lately," Noah commented once.
“We’ve always been close” Chris said to which Noah shook his head.
“No, you’ve been really, really close lately” he gave us a smirk.
Chris shrugged. "Guess so."
I caught Alex watching us from across the quad that day.
Not openly.
Just the briefest glance, his brow furrowing before he looked away.
The sight tugged at something old and familiar in my chest, but it didn't hit me the way it once would have.
I didn't shake.
I didn't look back.
That night, Chris flopped onto my bed at my place, staring up at the ceiling fan as it spun lazily overhead.
"You think he notices?" he asked suddenly.
"Who?"
"Alex."
I hesitated. "Probably."
Chris was quiet for a moment. "Does it hurt?"
I thought about it honestly.
"A little," I admitted. "But not the way it used to."
That was the truth.
Helping Chris through his feelings gave me somewhere to put all the care I still carried.
Alex had been my first everything in a lot of ways.
Chris was teaching me what it felt like to heal without pretending.