Uncomfortable

I touched his face, but he pulled away from me. Dear Lord, his moods were all over the place right now. "I do want to kiss you. Just not like this. I mean, you're kind of wasted right now. This isn't exactly romantic." I laughed nervously.

Clay shook his head. "Who said I'm looking for romance? Can't we just hook up and it not be all serious?" Whoa. Okay, that hurt. Glad to know that our kiss wouldn't mean quite the same thing to him as it would to me. Even though he

had just told me he needed me. He had seemed absolutely wretched when he thought I was angry with him. He was so hot and cold, I just couldn't wrap my mind around it.

"All right, then. This is clearly not going to happen, so I'm going to go find Daniel and Rachel." I stood up. Clay got to his feet behind me. His face was un- readable but it was obvious from his body language that he was not happy.

"You go on. I'm just going to hang out. You know... socialize and all," he said nastily, and turned around and went back into the garage. My stomach dropped and I blinked back tears. You have got to be kidding me. I had hoped tonight would be fun. But between Rachel's dramatics and Clay's drunken craziness, the night was quickly turning into a disaster.

I found Rachel and Daniel, who were swinging on the play set in Melissa's backyard. Rachel seemed to have sobered up and was actually smiling, which was a relief. "Hey, guys," I called out as I reached them.

They both looked up at me and smiled. "Hey. Where's Clay?" Danny asked, kicking his legs out in front of him to get the swing moving.

"Yeah... well, he's being a royal butt. I don't really feel like subjecting my- self to that, if you know what I mean." I perched on the seesaw and pushed with my legs to make it bob up and down. Rachel blew the hair out of her face and slowed her swing down until she was swaying gently back and forth. She looked over at me sheepishly.

"I'm sorry about the amateur dramatics earlier. I think it's official that I can't exactly handle my alcohol." I gave her a look that said I agreed with her statement.

"Yeah, I guess we've learned that lesson. Next time you're the DD."

Rachel laughed. "Deal," she agreed. "I had no idea that Clay had a problem with drinking, or I wouldn't have en- couraged him to do the keg stand. But he never mentioned anything." Rachel said guiltily.

I pushed with my legs again and slammed back down on the seesaw. "It's not like you held a gun to his head, Rache. Clay is a big boy. He doesn't need us mothering him." I parroted his words, feeling hollow inside. I hated arguing with Clay. It felt crappy.

Daniel hopped off the swing and wiped grass from his pants. "Enough mop- ing, you two. Let's go get our party on." Daniel pulled Rachel off the swing and grabbed my hand. We chuckled and followed him around the back of the house, toward the pool. It was nice having Daniel and Rachel be so normal with each other. Rachel looked at ease and none of their now-customary awkwardness seemed to be present between them.

The pool was obviously heated, evident as I watched steam drift upward from the surface of the water. People were swimming. Some without any suits. I looked away as Julianna Martin from my Spanish class climbed up the ladder in all her natural glory. Daniel's eyes nearly popped out of his head and Rachel smacked his leg, giggling.

Daniel went to join a group of his friends from the soccer team, while Rachel and I found a pair of deck chairs closer to the pool house to stretch out on. "Now, this is what I'm talking about." I groaned as I laid my head back on the cushion. Rachel did the same.

"I could get used to this," Rachel said, her arms dangling off the sides of the chair.

"This makes this crazy orgy all the easier to bear," I said, noting the paired off couples making out around the pool. Rachel laughed and instantly sobered. "How bad was I earlier? On a psycho scale of zero to ten." I looked over at my

friend and saw how worried she was. I reached over and squeezed her hand.

"Very low, only like a two or a three. It could have been a lot worse." Rachel sighed in relief. She rolled her head to the side to look at me again. "So, what happened to Clay?"

I started to answer when I was distracted by a noise coming from the pool gate. A big group of kids came through, led by none other than Clay himself. He had obviously had a lot more to drink since the last time I'd seen him and was the life of the party. The jocks were joking with him, the girls were flirting. He was the sun of the popularity solar system.

I realized that this was how life could easily be for him. With his looks, he could be that superpopular guy, with girls falling at his feet. But instead he had chosen to hang out with me. Not that I was unpopular, but I wasn't at the level Clay could clearly reach.

"What is up with him? He's being totally weird," Rachel said as she watched Clay jump into the pool with all his clothes on. He grabbed the ankle of Lydia Turner, a cheerleader, and yanked her in with him. She screamed as she fell into the water. Coming to the surface, she wrapped her arms around Clay's neck and nuzzled him.

I looked away, feeling sick. Clay somehow talked a bunch of other kids into jumping into the pool and soon they were horsing around and dunking one an- other. Daniel and his buddies joined them, while Rachel and I sat on the side- lines, unnoticed by the others.

I wrapped my arms around myself, feeling suddenly cold. I did not like this side of Clay. He acted as if he were amped up on amphetamines or something. like the Energizer Bunny. He spoke too loudly, acted erratically, but most of all just wouldn't stop. The people around him seemed to like this, but his behavior worried me. He was not acting like himself. Not like the boy I had spent almost every day with for the last few weeks. This was not my friend.

"What is he doing?" Rachel gasped from beside me. I had zoned out for a moment and missed Clay getting out of the water. He was currently climbing a tree that grew beside the pool. He climbed and climbed until he was almost at the top. He was easily twenty feet in the air. Balancing precariously, he edged out until he stood over the water below.

"He is not going to jump into the pool from up there, is he?" Rachel asked in horror. I just shook my head, my heart stopped in my chest. He was going to freaking kill himself.

"Dude, that doesn't seem too smart," one of the jocks yelled up at him. You know it had to be dangerous since one of his herd of followers had said some- thing. No one was cheering him on this time. Everyone looked uncomfortable with what Clayton was obviously getting ready to do.