I knew I loved you before tonight

She leaves the room and I stagger to my feet. I feel so weak, as if I have cried all the energy out of my body. I go into the bathroom and gather all my clothes. I put them in my suitcase and close it when Jake appears in the doorway.

''Are you ready?''

I nod my head.

''I think I am.''

He steps forward and I see that his eyebrow is properly bandaged and his lips are glistening with some sort of clear cream.

''May I join you?''

Her question makes me smile, even if it's just a twitch of my lip.

''Of course you can.''

He grabs the handle of my suitcase and pulls it out of my hand. I follow him closely and squint as we walk out of the room and into the light of the living room. I walk down the stairs one by one. There's an awkward atmosphere and I know Darryl and Jackson are trying hard not to look at me. Are they afraid I'll freak out and collapse?

''All set?''

Olivia asks, as she slips out of Jackson's embrace. As I walk down the stairs and stand on the carpet, she wraps her arm around my waist.

Darryl twirls a cap in his hand and approaches me.

''I'm so sorry about your dad...''

My throat constricts and I swallow saliva. I'm not going to cry, not while someone is offering condolences. I don't want to make it more uncomfortable for them.

''He was a great guy and I'm honored to have known James. The team won't be the same without him.''

It hurt to smile, but I managed to force one.

''Thank you.''

Jackson didn't say anything. Instead, he grabs me by the shoulders and gives me a hug. When he pulls away from me, he gives me a strained smile and turns to Olivia. She releases my waist and wraps her arms around him. Jake and I walk to the front door and wait in the hallway while olivia and Jackson kiss, hug, talk, and whatever else they are doing.

''I'm going to miss you, you know?''

Jake says, stroking my arm with his index finger.

''Will you call me?''

I ask, already missing his voice.

''Of course.''

He looks uncomfortably at the others.

Olivia and Jackson are engaged in some sort of epic battle with their tongues and Darryl has her back to them, looking out the window toward the city.

When Jackson releases her, Olivia straightens her purple satin blouse, ruffles down the front, and walks toward us. She takes my suitcase from Jake and walks toward us, giving us as much privacy as she can. Her thick fingers intertwine with mine and it feels amazing. I don't want to go to the lobby. I don't want to leave him behind.

The lobby is as busy as ever, how convenient. People, especially women, stare at Jake's naked upper half. Some blush, others look away in fear at the sight of his busted lip and eyebrow. He looks a little rough with his cuts and tattoos, not to mention his hard muscles, but he's definitely a softie. The same hands that squeeze and smack flesh are the same hands that carried me home, stripped me naked and massaged my skin with soap. I stop Jake as Olivia leaves the hotel. I want to talk to him alone.

''I'm so sorry I ruined your big night.''

''Do you feel like my night was ruined?''

He shakes his head.

''You haven't ruined anything Sandra.''

I reach over and reach out, pressing a kiss to his lips. He runs his cool fingers under my shirt and along my stomach. I'm going to miss her touch and smile so much. He cups my face, running his thumbs over my cheeks.

''I'll be home as soon as he finishes this.''

I look up into his brown eyes and they sparkle with so much emotion I can't pinpoint what exactly it is. I press my lips to his once more and try to pull away, but he grabs my arm and pulls me to him, making me gasp.

He exhales heavily and moistens his lips.

''I wasn't going to say anything, not yet, but in light of what happened, I feel like it's something you should hear right now...''

He pauses, looking directly into my eyes and smiles a little.

''Damn. I'm such a mess. I've never had to do this before.''

Do what?" I lean back a little, eyeing him warily. What does he mean? I've read enough romance novels to legitimately assume he's preparing for an 'I love you', but surely that's not what he's going to say.

''I love you.''

My mouth drops slightly, my stomach follows suit. That's exactly what he was preparing for. Surely I misheard him... He watches my face, waiting for a reaction, or anything. He looks tense, as if he expects me to run.

''Do you love me?''

I ask slowly, sounding completely dumbfounded.

''Absolutely, very much.''

My emotions are already all over the place and I don't know how to register what he just confessed to me. I try to say something, but it just comes out in a useless rush of air.

''I...''

Oh God. I can feel a buildup of tears threatening.

The more I try not to cry, the more I blink, and the more I blink, the more my eyes water. Jake's eyes widen a fraction before crushing me against his chest.

''To be honest, I was expecting you to slap me, not cry.''

I stifle a laugh.

''I know, I'm sorry. You caught me off guard.... I love you too, very much.''

He pulls away and takes my face in his hands again.

''You don't have to say it again now. I know you're emotional and...''

I shake my head.

''I knew I loved you before tonight, long before tonight.''

''When were you going to tell me? Never?''

I shrug.

''You're a very intimidating guy.''

He laughs and I love the sound. It's music to my ears and medicine to my heart. One last time he pulls me into him, lifting my feet off the ground and squeezing me firmly. A little too firmly and my ribs ache.

''Well, now that the hard part is over, we can say it all we want.''

Breathe down the back of my neck, sending shivers down my spine.

''I love you, God, I love you so much!''

A few more tears roll down my cheeks. I need to leave now. The time has come to part from Jake, but I can't even if it's only temporary. I cling to him with everything I have. I want to beg him to come with me and I know he would, no questions asked. He has already proven he would give up everything he worked so hard for me. His breath warms my neck and soft kisses him as he lowers my feet to the ground.

''I have to go.''

''If you need anything, even a hug, call me.''

''Would you travel to Los Angeles and come back just to give me a hug?''

He teases me as if it's obvious.

''I'd fly to the moon and back to comfort you when you need it.''

''You're out of your mind.''

I chuckle, pulling away from him.

He rests his hands on the top of his head and tufts of dark armpit hair stick out.