Chapter Twenty-Eight

The room was way too quiet. Tyler spread his DVDs out on the bed, ignoring Callahan who’d refused to leave after Pearce had been released to go home with Scott and Becky. Doc had come in, scheduled a whole bunch of tests, then gave Tyler the good and bad news. If the results of the tests were positive, Tyler wouldn’t miss more than one game. Bad news, Tyler was stuck here overnight for observation.

Not so bad, actually. Tyler picked up Mulan. His hand shook as he closed his eyes and saw Raif laughing at the little dragon, remembered how he felt sharing all those stupid, special moments with the other man. He dropped the movie and picked up another.

Callahan let out an irritated sound and stood, taking the DVD and setting it aside. He braced his hands on the side of the bed. “Do you want me to call one of the other guys? I get if you don’t want to talk to me, but you have to—”

“I’m fine talking to you, Callahan. Hey, the situation must seem pretty fucking familiar, right? Not the first time I haven’t fit.” Tyler let out a bitter laugh, thinking of how easily he’d been pushed out of the relationship with Oriana. At least they’d all been honest with him, hadn’t strung him along and pretended he belonged. He tried to think of when Laura had decided he wasn’t fun to play with anymore. Maybe she’d felt sorry for him when he was hurt. Just being nice because he was so fucking pathetic.

She was a nice person. Never mind making all the right sounds when he fucked her—sitting with him all those nights, watching stupid movies and acting like they were friends must have been hard. Saying she loved him for two years when she was desperate for him to just go away…

“Thank you for being real with me, Coach. At least I know exactly what you think of me. I’m a damn good player. A lousy sub. A dumb kid.” He smiled when Callahan frowned at him. “No worries. I get it. You must be impressed that Chicklet put up with me for so long.”

“She loves you, Vanek.” Callahan straightened and pulled out his phone. “I’m getting Luke to come down. Put on a movie until he gets here—be a good distraction. Fuck, I’ll watch one with you.”

“Yeah? Which one, Coach?” Tyler grabbed Mulan, pulled the disc out of the case, and snapped it, his voice rising as he tossed the pieces. “Not the one I watched with Raif—it’ll remind me how he faked enjoying it so I didn’t wonder why Laura didn’t want me at the hospital. Makes sense though, why the fuck would she want me there?” He threw another movie at the wall as he shoved off the bed. “Not that one either. All these fucking kid movies I liked so much because they were funny and they were the only good thing I had when I was a kid. About time for me to grow up, don’t you think?”

“Calm down, kid—”

“I’m not a goddamn kid!” Tyler lifted up the DVD player and drove it down into the floor with a resounding Smash! His vision swam in red as he broke another movie. He swept the rest of them off the bed, twisting away from Callahan when the coach made a grab for him. “I love her! I fell in love with him, and every goddamn minute I spent with them was fake! Every…” The movie by his foot caught his eye and he dropped to his knees. Tears blinded him as he remembered so many nights where Laura woke up from nightmares and they would sit together, her head on his chest, her body shaking until “Part of your World” came on. Same song every time.

And she would tip her head back, smile at him, and whisper ‘Thank you’.

Shit, she couldn’t have faked that. But if she could have shared those moments with him and still wanted him gone…he’d never been worth keeping. She’d risked her relationship with Chicklet by scheming with Raif. He could tell Chicklet was pissed, but she wouldn’t leave Laura. She’d loved Laura long before him, and they’d find a way to get past this.

Without him. He was the only real problem.

As he snapped the movie in his hands, the last of his strength left him. His whole body ached and he just wanted to sleep. He lifted his head when he heard Callahan talking to someone. The doctor. Who came over and held out his hand.

“Come on, son, let’s get you back in that bed.” Doc smiled as Tyler got up off the floor and into the bed. “I’m going to give you something to help you rest. I understand there was some drama here, but we’re going to avoid any more until you regain your strength. Do you have family that can come stay with you?”

His mother was away on another trip with her fiancé. Other than her, he had no one.

No, that wasn’t true. Luke and Scott were like brothers to him. Scott would want to stay with Pearce, but maybe Luke…

Tyler carefully rested his head on the pillow and stared up at the ceiling. “Can you call Luke, Coach? No offense, but I don’t really want anyone else around.”

Callahan stepped up to the doctor’s side and patted Tyler’s shoulder. “I’m on it. And I’m sorry this… Fuck, I don’t know what to say except I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Tyler turned his head so Callahan wouldn’t see the fresh tears. He was tired of people feeling sorry for him. Tired of mistaking pity for love. “Just go.”

* * * *

Three days and Raif still hadn’t seen Tyler, but his boy had been to Zach’s house and Zach had called to say he looked much better. Today, when Raif had arrived at the Forum early for the morning practice, Coach Shero had casually mentioned Tyler had been cleared to skate with the team.

He sensed the moment Tyler walked into the locker room. Heard his laughter, which helped ease the pressure in Raif’s chest. He wanted to go to Tyler, to tell him how little Chicklet was sleeping since he’d been gone—which Raif only knew because he hadn’t slept much himself. He needed Tyler to listen to the truth of why they’d kept so much from him. But only when Tyler was ready to hear what they had to say.

What Raif had to say. There was no way to know how this would all end, whether Laura could ever accept Tyler in her life, whether Chicklet could continue to be torn between them. Raif’s connection with Chicklet was growing, and he could see them building a strong partnership. He was fond of Laura, despite all that had come to pass. But he loved Tyler, and he’d already paid once for walking away from love. He wouldn’t waste his second chance.

He wouldn’t pressure Tyler, not here and not now, but he had to show him the door was open. Would remain open for as long as it took. With clumsy fingers, Raif finished tying his skates. He lifted his head to see Pischlar standing at his own stall, glancing at Tyler then at Raif. Pischlar inclined his head as though to say, “Go for it.”

“Tyler.” Raif started to rise, changing his mind as Tyler turned. His boy’s spine was stiff and he already looked defensive. Hopefully he would relax a little more without Raif standing over him.

Tyler moved away from Carter, stuffing his hands into the pockets of his faded blue jeans. His clothes were all ill-fitting, clearly borrowed from Carter since Tyler hadn’t been home to pack any of his own things. There were shadows under the bright blue eyes that locked on Raif. Tyler mustn’t have slept well either.

Even his tone sounded weary as he stopped in front of Raif. “Hey. Great game yesterday. Looking forward to playing with you guys tomorrow night.”

“Having you with us again will be good.”

“If you’re talking about on the ice, then yeah.” Tyler hunched his shoulders and dropped his gaze to the floor. “Otherwise…”

“We have much to discuss, zlato moje.” Raif’s lips curved slightly as he noticed Carter scowling at him. Tyler had protective friends. Which was good, but they couldn’t speak freely here. “Perhaps at some point today?”

“I…maybe, okay? I’ve been fucked up over what happened, and I’m not sure I can take having this whole mess dragged out again. That win clinched us a spot in the playoffs. I need to focus on healing.” He lifted his hands as though to rake his fingers through the mess of his curls, wincing as his fingertips brushed the triangular line of stitches on his temple. “On getting strong enough to be an asset on the ice.”

“And beyond that?” Do not push him, Raif. He tried to keep his tone level and calm, but everything Tyler said sounded too much like he was ready to move on. Raif had to get through to his boy before he built walls between them that could never be breached.

“Luke and Ramos are letting me stay with them as long as I need to. Damn it, Raif, I did things with you that…that I always thought I wouldn’t.” Tyler looked over his shoulder at Pischlar, his cheeks growing red. He scuffed his socked feet on the carpet, staring at the floor again. “My friends, my teammates, this team matters more than awesome sex. I had fun, but I’ve got shit to figure out.”

Before Raif could come up with a way to prove to Tyler they’d had so much more than “awesome sex,” White slammed his sports bag in his stall and turned to Pischlar. “Whoa, wait a fucking second. You’re all pissed at me for fucking…chicks in my room with Richards, and you were fucking Vanek?”

“For fuck’s sake, does everyone need to know who you’re all sleeping with?” Callahan came out of his office and stormed into the locker room. “If this is an issue that has to be hashed out right this goddamn minute, get in my office and close the fucking door.”

“Nothing that can’t wait.” Pischlar peeled off his shirt and tossed it in his stall. Then he slouched on the bench and gave White a bored look. “Not sure why you think I’m pissed. Or why any of this is your business.”

“It’s not.” White didn’t appear as certain as he sounded. “And what I do isn’t any of yours either.”

“Agreed.” Pischlar smiled pleasantly at Callahan. “All worked out.”

“Great.” Callahan rolled his eyes, then snapped at Richards the second the boy walked into the locker room. “In my office. Now. We’re going to have a chat about you getting mixed up with all this bullshit before it’s too fucking late.”

Richards paled. “I didn’t do anything! We were drinking and…nothing really happened.”

Callahan threw his arms up in the air. “Damn it, White!”

A few steps behind Richards, Hunt let out a feral sound and lunged toward White. “You son of a bitch!”

Thankfully, Demyan was right behind him and latched on to the young goalie’s collar before he reached White. He dragged Hunt to a bench clear across the room. “I’m going to get you a fucking shock collar. Sit.” Demyan smirked when Hunt snarled at him. “Stay.” He patted the young man on the head. “Good boy.”

In front of Raif, Tyler was making a valiant effort not to laugh. His eyes sparkled as he met Raif’s, and for a split second he was the same young man who’d told Raif he loved him. Who responded to every touch, every kiss, with more passion than any man or woman Raif had ever known.

The light in his eyes faded, but there was still enough to give Raif hope. He stood before Tyler could walk away, catching Tyler’s arm and speaking low as the rest of the team crowded into the locker room. “Do you remember what you told me about Pischlar and White? About what we have and why it will last?”

Tyler swallowed hard and nodded. “I remember.”

Movement to the side had Raif quickly sidestepping without releasing Tyler. Carter’s fist grazed Raif’s jaw even as he shouted. “Get away from him, Zovko!”

Men shouted. A whistle sounded and everyone went still and quiet as Coach Shero made his way over. The coach put his hand on Carter’s shoulder. “In my office. We have a new locker room rule. No one may punch, slap, or throw things at Mr. Zovko. I would very much prefer if you all could control your tempers, but we shall not ask for miracles, yes?”

“You don’t know what he did.” Carter protested as Shero led him away. “And, ah…what happens if we break the rule?”

“You are about to find out, Mr. Carter.”

“Shit. That doesn’t sound good.”

This time, Tyler didn’t hold back his laugh. Several of the other men were chuckling as well. The drama was forgotten as discussion turned to high expectations for the playoffs. Bower was skating with the team again and, by all reports, would split the remaining games with Hunt so he’d be well rested for the postseason. Little scuffles here and there no longer shifted the mood of the entire locker room. Almost as though nothing could bring them down.

If only all our problems could be fixed with a few wins on the ice.

Tyler took a seat beside Raif as he settled down in front of his stall to pull on the rest of his equipment. “This is all crazy, isn’t it? We can’t really get into things now, but I’ll hear you out, Raif.” He rubbed his thighs and chewed on his bottom lip. “Not after practice—Doc wants to see me. But maybe tonight we can meet up.”

Raif nodded slowly. “Chicklet is working at the club tonight, but we can meet somewhere else if you’d prefer.”

Tyler shook his head. “No, the club’s fine. I don’t know how long I’ll stay, but this involves both of you. And Laura. You talk, I’ll listen. I won’t promise more.”

“It is enough, Tyler.” Raif put his hand over the one Tyler was rubbing against his thigh to stop the nervous gesture. “But please do not forget that we—that I love you. Everything I’ve done, no matter how foolish, has been for that very reason.”

“I want to believe you, but I can’t. Not yet.” Tyler inhaled deeply, letting the air out in a heavy sigh. “But we’ll see what happens tonight.”

Nodding, Raif released Tyler, not moving until Tyler had changed and headed out to the ice. Practice was intense, which proved a good distraction from Raif’s troubled thoughts, but when he returned to the locker room sore and soaked in sweat to find Tyler already gone, he couldn’t help but wonder if the chance he’d been given had come too late. Without meaning to, he’d hurt Tyler in the worst way. His boy was resilient, had friends to support him as he sorted through the pain and began to put his life back together. In the few days they’d been apart, Tyler had changed. He was guarded, careful about every word. Even the way he played was stiffer, lacking the emotion he’d once shown.

Almost as though he’d aged years since everything he’d believed in had been taken from him. Life had a way of forcing the most free-spirited souls to either toughen up or shatter. Tyler wasn’t broken, but he wouldn’t trust as easily as before.

But he hadn’t become a hard man who would never trust again. Raif would earn back what he’d lost. And do everything in his power to make sure Tyler didn’t become that man.

* * * *

Laura had never been to this neighborhood on a call. She paused before making her way up the path to the house, taking in the manicured lawns and the expensive cars parked in every driveway. There wasn’t so much as a cigarette butt on the street. A few houses over there were children playing tag on the sidewalk. Laura stopped as one ran out into the street, but the few cars that rolled down the street were slowed by strategically placed speed bumps.

And would wonders never cease, a woman about Laura’s age immediately came out and shouted for the children to get in the backyard. So many times, when a child was involved in a horrible accident, Laura would search the dirty streets for any sign of the parents. Yes, children managed to slip out, and sometimes no one was to blame, but when officers had to move toddlers off the street so the ambulance could get through, one had to wonder if anyone really cared.

Finding Tyler in a bad neighborhood would have made her feel even guiltier. She’d been staying with her brother, but she had gone home to get some of her things. Chicklet had been quiet, but she’d mentioned Tyler hadn’t been there.

Both Laura and Chicklet helped pay the rent on the condo, but it had been Tyler’s place first. The fact that he needed to find somewhere else to stay…Laura knew she was the one to blame. She was responsible for the whole damn mess, and while she couldn’t go back in time and make better choices, she could make sure Tyler didn’t pay for her mistakes. If he was willing to hear her out, that is.

No use dragging her feet. She reached the door and rapped her knuckles against the polished wood. A young woman opened the door, blonde hair streaked with blood red pulled away from her face with a blue bandana, wearing a loose black T-shirt with a skull on the front and ridiculously short shorts that looked ready to fall apart. Laura frowned at the girl, hoping this wasn’t Luke’s sister, because she had the appearance of most of the young women Laura dealt with on the job for everything from drugs to prostitution.

Laura tried not to judge people on appearances, but it was very difficult when the girl folded her arms over her chest and sucked her teeth as she returned Laura’s appraisal. “You’re Tyler’s cop girlfriend, aren’t you?”

“Yes. Is he here…Sam?” Laura gave the girl her most disarming smile. Maybe the girl’s attitude had more to do with concern for Tyler than the fact that she knew Laura was a police officer.

“Yeah, I’m Sam. And he’s not here yet, but he shouldn’t be long.” Sam stepped aside, leaving the door open. “Do you want a beer or something? No one’s going to be happy to see you, so don’t expect them to offer.”

“I wouldn’t mind having one with you while we wait.” Laura followed Sam to the kitchen and took a seat at the small, glass breakfast table. After thanking Sam for the beer she brought, Laura waited for Sam to sit across from her and tried to think of some small talk to relax the young woman. “Have you been to Dartmouth before?”

“No, I haven’t spent much time out of Minnesota.” Sam tipped her beer to her lips and closed her eyes as she took a long gulp. She clasped her hands around the bottle after setting it down. “I like it here though. Nice neighborhood. Haven’t really met anyone, but I might go to school in the fall if Sebastian can get all the paperwork done.”

Well, that sounded promising at least. There were many Sam’s age who wouldn’t care about school or work with their brother dating a rich man, but there was an eagerness in Sam’s tone, as though she was excited about moving forward.

“Do you know what you want to study?” Laura asked.

Sam shrugged, then stood suddenly and went to the cupboard. She came out with a box of dog biscuits, shaking it and giggling as Luke’s dog, Bear, came galloping into the room. She tossed a bone in the air, clapping when Bear caught it. “I was kinda thinking I’d like to work with animals. I never had any growing up, but I’m in love with this mutt.”

Laura watched Sam kneel on the floor to hug Bear, then glanced toward the hall as the front door opened. She stood as Luke and Jami came in the room, Tyler close behind. He frowned when he noticed her, but didn’t get a chance to comment because Luke was cursing under his breath as he grabbed Sam’s beer bottle off the table.

“Real smart, sis.” He went over to the sink to dump the beer. “Jami, will you fucking explain to her what the doctor said?”

Bottom lip quivering, Sam straightened and faced her brother. “It was only a few sips and I—”

“Can’t be trusted with anything. Talk to Jami. I don’t want to say something I’ll regret.”

Moving closer to Sam and putting her hand on the girl’s shoulder, Laura glared at Luke. “Don’t you think you’re overreacting?”

“Probably.” Luke rolled his shoulders as he went to the fridge to grab a bottle of water. “I mean, it’s her body, but alcohol’s bad for the baby. Expecting her to care about anyone besides herself is too much to ask.”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal, Luke! I’m sorry!” Sam ran from the room, Jami trailing after her with a heavy sigh.

Maybe this was a bad time for Laura to be here. She glanced over at Tyler, who was standing at the cupboard, eating a chocolate chip cookie and watching her expectantly. She cleared her throat. “Do you think we could go out for coffee or something? I’d really like to speak to you.”

Tyler set the box of cookies down on the counter. “Here’s fine.”

Luke went to stand beside Tyler, arms folded over his chest.

Ugh, this is going to be pleasant. Laura couldn’t think of a polite way to ask Luke to get out of his own kitchen.

Thankfully, she didn’t have to. Sebastian strode into the room, pointed at Luke, then jutted his thumb over his shoulder. Grumbling, Luke left the room. Sebastian inclined his head to Laura and disappeared down the hall.

“This would be a lot easier if you’d sit down.” Laura didn’t want to press her chances, but she’d have a better idea of what those chances were if Tyler was willing to take a less hostile stance. Knowing this, she was shocked that Tyler actually came over and pulled out a chair. His posture was rigid, but they were off to a decent start. “Neither Raif nor Chicklet are to blame for what I tried to do.”

“Funny, you gave me the impression Raif took the opportunity you gave him so he could fuck me a few times.” Tyler gave her a stiff smile. “Nice of you to worry while you were trying to get me out of your life.”

Laura leaned forward and placed her hands on the table, keeping her gaze level with Tyler’s. “If he just wanted to use you, Tyler, he wouldn’t have told Chicklet everything. They knew I was a mess, and they were trying to protect you.”

His brow furrowed. He rubbed his thighs and shook his head. “I don’t understand. Fine, assuming I believe they had the right intentions, that still doesn’t explain why you suddenly wanted me gone.”

“Because my life is complicated, my job was getting to me, and every time I came home, you seemed to be in some kind of trouble. I wanted to delve deeper into the lifestyle, submit completely to Chicklet, but I couldn’t and I blamed you.” Laura drew in a sharp inhale. She was not going about this the right way, but they couldn’t fix their relationship until they figured out what had been broken. “You were arrested, for God’s sake! I was so angry, and I figured things would calm down if you weren’t around.”

“Then what’s the problem? Why are you here?” He stood and walked away from the table. Turned and came back, bracing his hands on the surface beside her. “I’m not around. I’m completely out of the picture. You win.” His voice cracked with the last word, but he took a deep breath and continued. “Go build a wonderful life with Chicklet.”

“I didn’t win! And I’m here because I was wrong! I thought I was putting up with you for our Mistress, but I love you!” She stood and had to fight the urge to pull him into her arms, knowing he wouldn’t accept comfort from her. Not yet. “I missed you when we went to Chicklet’s father’s place. When I thought Raif might use you, might hurt you, I wanted to bury him! I didn’t know he was pretending just to scare me into seeing how important you are to me. But you are, Tyler!”

“You have a weird fucking way of showing it. What was Plan B, Laura? Take out an ad in the paper and see if anyone else wanted me?”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You’re missing the point.”

“Am I?” He shook his head and lowered back into the chair. “You know, I do stupid things and get in trouble, I get that. But it’s because I act without thinking. This wasn’t impulsive. You thought your plan through and carried it out over weeks. How am I supposed to trust that you’ve changed your mind and you love me now? How am I supposed to trust you at all?”

“I don’t expect you to. Not until I earn it.” She put her hand over his. Was encouraged when he didn’t pull away. “But you can trust Chicklet and Raif. Don’t turn your back on them—it’s my fault they were in this position.”

“And what do you think’s gonna happen if I stay with them, Laura? With you? Two years and what you, me, and Chicklet had wasn’t worth trying to save? Instead of telling me I was pissing you off, maybe giving me a chance to make you happy, you snuck around and…” He rubbed his eyes with his thumb and forefinger. “We can’t have a conversation. You can’t talk to Chicklet, you won’t talk to me… How is adding Raif to the mix gonna make anything better?”

“I can’t promise it will, but I want to try. I swear, I’ll tell you whenever you’re annoying. I’ll nag at you about leaving your shit laying around, about all the little things you do that drive me absolutely nuts.”

He snorted and met her eyes. “Yeah, there’s an offer I can’t refuse.”

“You know what I mean! What we have is worth saving. We had a great life together, but I didn’t see it until I almost lost it. I envisioned the perfect scenario, and when I had a taste of how things would be, I wanted the imperfect, unpredictable craziness that I can only get with you.” All right, what she was saying sounded a little nuts, but she couldn’t think of any other way to explain how much she needed him.

And that’s what he needed to hear.

She couldn’t speak for Chicklet and Raif, couldn’t convince him how much they loved him, but she could let him know that he wasn’t expendable to her anymore. Hadn’t been before, she’d just been too blinded by unrealistic ideals that could never make her happy. “I thought you were just a fun toy for Chicklet to play with once in a while, but you’re so much more. I love the way you make me smile and laugh, the way I can talk to you about just about anything.”

His brow lifted slightly. “Except how much I irritate you?”

“I’ll work on that!” She laughed when he made a face, as though he wished he hadn’t brought that up. “But I’d rather deal with you being messy and loud and obnoxious than not wake up in the morning to you teasing me when I’m grumpy, while bringing me a cup of coffee fixed up just right. I need you there when I come home to remind me that the world isn’t a dark, miserable place. I want you there to hold me at night, to kiss me, to kneel by my side and know exactly how I feel when reality fades away.”

Tyler turned his hand under hers and laced their fingers together. “Are you sure? Because you know Chicklet won’t leave you. If I’m out of the picture—”

“We’ll both be miserable. I’ll have lost one of the most important people in my life. And Chicklet may never be able to forgive me.” Which might still happen. “Raif’s been with her this whole time, you know. He’s the one she’s leaning on while she waits to see if you’ll come home.”

“You’ll have to make things right with both of them then. They’ve gotten real good at working together. I wouldn’t want to be on both their bad sides.” Tyler cocked his head, his expression thoughtful. “They’re gonna be at the club tonight. I told Raif I’d go see them, listen to what they have to say. They’ll probably want to punish you, and I don’t see it being fun. Come with me.”

Going to the club to face Chicklet and Raif sounded like a very bad idea. Tyler was exactly right. If they gave her another chance, they’d want to punish her first. And whatever they came up with would be horrible.

But worth whatever pain or suffering she’d have to go through if it meant they could all start over. She swallowed hard and nodded. “I’ll come.”

“Good, but don’t look so scared. I’m not just gonna throw you to the wolves.” He brought her hand to his lips, mischief in his eyes. “Do you trust me?”

“Yes. You haven’t given me any reason not to.”

“Perfect. Meet me back here in a couple hours. Dress in something sexy.” He stood and pulled her to her feet. “Be prepared, because I plan to let them know how things are gonna be from now on.”

“Pissing them off is not a plan. It’s crazy!”

“Mmhmm, maybe just a little.” He drew her closer, his lips brushing hers with a soft kiss. “But don’t forget, that’s one of the things you love about me.”