Anger washes over me and I rip myself away from her. I thump my chest twice. "This is as real as it gets, Rosie. Just because we're not in the same programs doesn't mean anything. Our careers may be different but that doesn't mean we can't be in each others' lives. Our paths can be the same." I'm yelling now and I can tell that it's scaring her. But fuck it, I'm being torn apart here. She presses herself against my door and I cage her in my arms. She exhales sharply and when her eyes rise to meet mine, I know whatever decision she's made in her mind is already set in stone. Done. "I'm going to Australia, Trent. I'm leaving." She's managed to push me off my axis. Bewildered, I take a step or two back. Her face blanches and she curses, squeezing her eyes shut as if she wasn't supposed to say anything. "I-I'm sorry, I was going to tell you but –" "When?" "– It was a last minute thing. My uncle asked me to come over and I want to pursue journalism there and–" My nostrils flare and I smack my fist on the door. "Fucking when, Rose?" Her blue eyes glimmer with tears. "In seven weeks." I inhale a little brokenly and bite my lip before something like a stupid whimper escapes my mouth. Don't show her how much this is physically tearing you apart. I clench my hands a couple of times and keep my gaze on her. She guiltily avoids it. "When were you going to tell me?" "I wasn't." That's the final blow. A punch right to my fucking guts. My heart aches now. "You never planned on telling me." "I didn't." I close my eyes, counting to five under my breath. Even now she can't take any pain to fight for what we have, what we could still have. And I was the fucking idiot trying to make this work out when her mind was already made up. I was hanging on when she was ready to let go. "You weren't even going to give me a chance to make amends," I say, backing away from her. An unreadable emotion flickered on her face and she tries to reach out for me, before dropping her hand midway. "I don't know how I feel about that." Liar. It's fucking killing you. Dad left. Mom left. Natalie's gone and now Rose is leaving, too. There must be something really twisted about my fucked-up self if the people I can't live without can live without me. Dad didn't want to be a part of our family. My mother didn't want to have anything to do with us after his departure and even Natalie left me to go to a different university, even though I'm the one to encourage her to pursue her dreams. "Trent, just hear me out–" If Rose's mind is made, then so is mine. I'm done playing this game. Tired of the constant push and pull. I want some kind of guarantee – something that assures me that this right here is the real deal. If she's in my life for good, then I want to know. Except she's not. She's said it countless times in the past. I only understand now. Chin jut out, I jerk my head in the direction of the door, trying to project as much hatred in my eyes as I possibly can. "If we're really done Rose, get out. I swear I won't come running back to you anymore. Have a great time in Australia." I have more pride and dignity than that. I'm not going to be her little toy. Rose's face crumples before she sucks in another reassuring breath and leaves my dorm – my life. Maybe for good this time. I fall back against my bed, cradling my face in my hands. The eerie silence in the room stills for a beat, before it breaks as I haul my digital clock against the opposite wall with all the strength I can muster. It breaks and clatters against the wooden flooring. My eyes prickle and my chest feels heavy. I gave everything I had and it wasn't enough. It never would be.