Chapter 173

Chapter 173
Ivan

“That still doesn’t excuse my actions. I’m thankful that you were safe, but it might have been better if we all just stuck together. Instead of infiltrating. All that’s gotten us is Ariya captured as a hostage, you having to constantly look over your shoulder, and a target on all 5 of us. They might’ve thought we were dead if I’d just kept us all together. They might not have come looking for us or even found us.” Drake explained. 
It was like I could see the weight that lay on his shoulders. He blamed himself for everything that was going on. For everything that's happening now. He took my hits as part of his punishment. But deep down he felt he deserved much worse. Drake had been around for probably over 1,000 years but he looked like he was only in his early to mid 30’s. Drake had lifetimes of experience that none of us did. He’d survived way longer and had probably been around before all the technology of the world created the dystopian world we lived in now. Sure everyone had abilities, but it had led to even more isolation and segregation. We were all that was left of the Navi. The 5 of us. 2 Original Navi Wolves and 3 Blood Borns. The last of our kind. 
“You don’t need an excuse for your actions. You made a decision based on the information you had at the time. If we didn’t do what we had, we might not have the information that we have now. We would be angry for the death of all our people. Fighting against an enemy blindly. We probably wouldn’t have stood a chance. But right now we do. We can’t change the past. Our decisions got us to where we are now. The only thing we can do is focus on where we want to go and make the decisions that are going to lead us there. This isn’t all on you anymore, Drake. We all make decisions together. Don’t try taking the entire burden on your own.” I told him. 
“I can’t make any promises.” Drake smirked. 
“Drake, Ivan’s right. Yeah, Caleb and I felt abandoned. But getting our memories back. Remembering and re-living the horrors of that night. I understand just like Ivan does. I might not agree with every decision that was made but we understand it. We don’t hate you for the choices you made. Though Ivan keeps attacking you.” Ariya said, looking at me. 
I grinned sheepishly, “I’m sorry. I can’t help it. I actually feel like I’m back to the night it happened. I don’t know why. But remember, my entire drive is to protect you. To keep you safe. That whole night I kept losing you and you were in danger. I watched you practically die in front of me and there was nothing I could do. I couldn’t even talk to anyone.” 
Ariya and Drake looked at me sadly. They could see the memories as they flashed through my mind. How much fear I had. How I thought I was losing Ariya. I was so scared that night and my emotions just ruled over me. I wasn’t thinking clearly. My singular thought was of trying to protect Ariya and I had failed not once or twice that night but three times. Twice she had been taken by the enemy and she had practically died in front of me. 
“I swear, I won’t let anything or anyone take her away from you again, Ivan.” Drake swore to me. 
Drake took his leave. He seemed like he had forgiven himself at least a little bit. But I could tell how dead serious he was about not letting anything or anyone take Ariya away from me. The mate bond between us was powerful. I wanted to make sure that Ariya and I were so powerful that no one could even touch either of us. But that meant so much training. I wasn’t sure how much time we would have but every second counted. I needed to make sure that I was able to protect her. 
“Breathe, Ivan. I know you want to protect me. But for now, we need to sleep.” Ariya whispered. 
I looked down at her. She was laying in my arms. We were in our mind and I wanted the peacefulness of this moment to last forever. I cleared my thoughts and rolled to my side so I could hold her. Ariya’s head was nestled into my chest. I rested my head just above hers so I could breathe in her scent the entire night. Within seconds I was drifting off to sleep. It had been a long day and there was still so much work that needed to be done. 
An alarm sounded in our mind and Ariya groaned as she stirred in my arms. I kissed her on the top of her head as I moved to get up. 
“I have to start getting ready, princess.” I told her. 
“It’s sooo early.” She grumbled. 
“I know, but it means I get to see you soon.” I laughed. 
Ariya brightened up immediately, “I can actually hug you!” 
“I know, it’s not the same in our mind. At least we can still have some parts of it. We should let Drake know that the alarm rings throughout our mind.” I laughed. 
Ariya pushed the thought to Drake to let him know that we were up. Drake seemed exhausted as well. He didn’t show up this time, just connected to our mind like an intercom. He was thankful that we let him know and then severed the connection and went back to sleep. 
I got up and our connection shifted so I could actually move my body. It was kind of weird being able to detach from my body. 
It’s kind of like our mind, body, and spirit are 3 fully different things. Ariya pointed out. 
True, it’s like our mind is the place that we can go to. Where our thoughts and feelings can reside. But our body is our physical form. Then our spirit is like a form of energy that can be changed in a way. I thought. 
Something tells me we’re going to need to strengthen all 3 of them to be able to make it through all of this. Ariya said. 
We’ll figure out how to. It’s just going to take time. I told her.