Chapter 19: Desperation

So I was devastated after the breakup. But I tried to keep my sadness and loneliness hidden. I drank tons of vodka until I passed out whenever I went out with my male friends in bars. But by working out in the gym, I was able to keep my athletic figure. I dated several women, but I never took them seriously. I've had a lot of flings. Girls wanted me to be their boyfriend, but I couldn't imagine dating any of them. I loved Daphne too much. She was the only person on the planet who had the ability to make me happy.

I contacted Renee, the exotic dancer from the bar. In a motel, we had sex. Renee was stunning and wonderful. When I told her I wanted to have sex with her, she was all in.

"I've always wanted to do it with you ever since I laid eyes on you," she admitted to me in bed. "You are such a handsome and interesting guy," she licked my face and whispered in my ear. After that, we had a steamy and wild intercourse. She was fantastic in bed.

After that, I had sex with nine other different women.

Mylene and I met through a dating app. She was a student at the same university as mine. She was a prostitute as well. She was eighteen years old. She dressed for school in a long-sleeved blouse and a long skirt. When we met on our date, she was dressed in a baby pink tube top and a micromini skirt. She had fair skin, was thin, had oriental eyes, and long black hair that was shiny. In the brothel, we had sex. We did the sex position called 69.

I met Trixie. She worked as a waitress in a high-end restaurant. She was pale, tall, with brown eyes and long, straight blonde hair. She was twenty-one years old. We had a quickie sex in a public restroom. Of course, we were the only ones inside the restroom.

Ginger was introduced to me. She was a classmate who was eighteen years old. Allan, one of my friends, introduced us. Ginger, according to Allan, had a crush on me. She was fair-skinned, petite, and had wavy red hair. In her home, we had sex. She definitely had a crush on me because she let me put cum in her face and she swallowed it. I enjoyed having sex with her because she let me do whatever I wanted to her and was eager to satisfy my carnal desires.

"Please photograph me with your jizz in my face and inside my mouth," Ginger begged.

“Why?” I asked.

"Because I want to remember that we had love," she explained, "consider this your autograph on my body." She was madly in love with me. "Should I include your face?" I asked. " She replied, "Please take a full body picture of me," so I did. "Please take more pictures," she begged. I took more photos. “I'll keep these pictures," she said.

"Would you mind telling all of your friends that we had sex?" She asked.

"Why would I do something like that?" I asked. I was puzzled.

"Please tell them,”she pleaded.

"All right," I lied.

"Oh my goodness, you're so attractive! I can't believe we made love," she exclaimed. As if I were a celebrity or someone significant.

"Can I rim you?" she asked.

“No!” I yelled.

I was not at ease with rimming. That was never something I wanted to do.

We had a lot of sex. But then she became clingy, and she pretended that we were a couple even though we weren't. I never contacted her ever again.

Candy and I became acquainted. She worked as a masseuse. She had dark eyes and dark, straight medium hair, and she was voluptuous. She was also the masseuse for my friend Allan. She was twenty-three years old. She provided "extra service" by providing a sensual massage in the massage room. After that steamy massage, we had sex. We performed the Om position.

I met Charity. She worked as a hotel receptionist. She was blonde, curvy, and white. She was twenty years old. We had sex in her studio apartment room. She asked me to titty-fuck her. And I did that thing to her. She came a lot. I sucked her juices and munched her cunt. She was delicious.

I met Bambi. She was twenty-one years old. She was a General Psychology classmate of mine. She had big brown eyes, wavy brown hair, and a slim body. She expressed her desire to have sex with me and stated that she liked me. Bambi was popular with the boys. My friend Edward had informed me that she had contracted a STI and passed it on to a male student. I used a condom when I had sex with her. We had sex in the missionary position, which she enjoyed. She couldn't stop complimenting me on my appearance. She gave me a spectacular blowjob. It was unfair of me, but I avoided cunnilingus with her because I was afraid of getting sick.

I met Scarlett. She was nineteen years old. She was a Humanities classmate of mine. She had an average appearance. She was thin and pimply, and she wore her straight dark hair up in a high ponytail. In her room, we had sex. She was amazing in bed, which compensated for her lack of beauty.

Elsa and I had sex. She was twenty-five years old. We met through a dating app. She worked as an architect. Her profile stated that she desired to have sex with a younger man. So we had sex at her place. We had a threesome with her husband.

I met a lovely lady named Apple. She thought she was hilarious. She enjoyed telling corny jokes. She was a Physical Education classmate of mine. She was a varsity badminton player. She was twenty-two years old. We had sex in her car in the park one rainy night. We had sex in a variety of unusual locations, including a church's restroom, an exclusive resort's swimming pool, a haunted house, an abandoned house, an abandoned warehouse, and a cemetery.

I had these fun and crazy sex escapades with interesting ladies. But I still could not get over Daphne.

I saw Daphne one sunny afternoon while walking down the street to get some school supplies from a bookstore near my house. She was with a beautiful lady. They were holding hands with each other.

They were purchasing coffee-related books, graphic novels, and paperback novels. I assumed those books were for Daphne's girlfriend. Maybe her hobbies were coffee making and coffee art. Perhaps she aspired to be a barista. Perhaps she was already a barista but wanted to hone her skills.

Daphne was dating a blonde, tall, and slender woman whom she called Ash. The bitch replaced me with a femme lesbian. In case you're unfamiliar, a femme lesbian is a lesbian who dresses and acts femininely.

Ash was wearing a sleeveless lacy white blouse, a black skirt with stars on it, black heels, and a choker. She had on red lipstick. Daphne was wearing a light blue A-line skirt dress, light blue heels, and a heart necklace. To be honest, they both looked great! However, in my opinion, Daphne was more beautiful than Ash.

I made every effort to remain unnoticed. I tried to ignore them and pretended not to notice them. I even wore my sunglasses to conceal my face. Or simply to conceal my sad eyes.

Daphne, on the other hand, noticed me. She ignored me and pretended she didn't know who I was. Ash kissed Daphne on the lips. My heart sank.

As soon as the cashier handed me the items I had purchased, I left the bookstore.

I dated a lot of girls I met online, at school, and at parties for several months. I also slept with some of them just to forget about Daphne. But the more I slept with those girls, the more I missed Daphne.

I was missing her lovely scent.

I missed hearing her laugh.

I yearned for her gentle hands and the way she caressed me.

I yearned for her sweet smile.

I looked for these lovely qualities in every girl I slept with. But none of them possessed the qualities that Daphne possessed. None of those girls were as enthralling as my beloved Daphne Rose. I didn't want any other girl but her.

What Daphne did to me was extremely painful. Before we were together, I did everything I could to make her happy. I even let her be with Lance while I waited for the day that she'd leave him. When they were no longer together, I seized the opportunity to be with her. I was courting her. I continued to do everything that made her happy. But Daphne still left me. My entire effort had been in vain. But I wasn't complaining about all of my efforts. I was complaining because Daphne was the only one for me, and I couldn't get over her when we split up.

I suddenly felt extremely lonely. I was also depressed. I want to go home and cry in the corner of my room right now. So I did that when I got home. I was stuffing chocolate bars into my mouth. My tears dripped down the chocolate bars I was eating as I ate. I was like a fool.

I saw a heartbreaking film called The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. And, like the main character in the film, I wished to erase all memories of Daphne. So that I no longer experience heartache. But then I realized that even the good memories would be erased from my mind. That was not something I wanted to happen. I treasured all of my happy memories with Daphne. I wouldn't trade it for anything. It would be much more depressing. I was being pathetic now. If only it were possible, I would erase my negative memories of her. It's called selective memory. Regrettably, that was not possible in reality.

I also saw another film. The movie is called The Perks of Being a Wallflower. It's about a teenage boy who falls in love with his female friend. The girl, on the other hand, is in a relationship with a stud. She kisses the boy, I guess, out of pity. Also, as she states nonverbally, "I want your first kiss to be with someone you love." The girl was kissed by her father's friend. That was her first kiss. So the girl had been sexually assaulted by her father’s friend. If you keep watching, you'll learn that the main character was also a victim of sexual assault as a child. This film made me realize that my love problems were insignificant in comparison to the problems of the characters.

I suddenly felt depressed and pitied myself. To cope with my overwhelming sadness, I burst out laughing. But then I noticed tears streaming down my pitiful face.

I just finished my assignments after watching these movies and crying my eyes out. I painted the beach where Daphne and I sat and stared at the stars. Because that beach was so lovely, I decided to paint it. I remembered the cool night blowing our hair and making us shiver, as well as the cool, grippy feel of the sand on our feet. Even though it was practically freezing that night, it was still a beautiful night. I recalled showing Daphne the star I had named after her. I recalled kissing her under the velvety starry sky.

It may appear ironic that I wished to forget about Daphne even for a short time. Because it was impossible to forget someone right away. However, because I was so depressed, I couldn't think clearly. I also didn't have anything else to think about, so I painted the beach and a starry sky with a huge star at the end to represent the star I named after the girl I loved so much.

My painting turned out quite well. I knew I'd get a good grade on this painting

When I was younger, one of my top priorities was to get good grades. My grades had been mediocre since Daphne broke my heart. But, at the very least, I wasn't failing. I'd eventually focus on my studies and get good grades. I was simply not prepared to be a top student at the time.

I was so stressed and affected every time I see on social media that Daphne was happy with her girlfriend. I did not know, what did my dear Daphne see in that lady? What did he see in Ash? What did she have that I didn’t have? I got it, Ash was beautiful. But I was also good-looking. What's wrong with me? My penis was not small. Many ladies told me I was good in bed. Daphne herself told me that too. Was Ash kind? I was also kind. Was Ash rich? I didn’t think so. She dressed so simple.

I noticed how frequently Daphne and Ash dated. Ash worked as a barista, which I discovered. I think it's a fascinating job. Perhaps Daphne thought Ash was more interesting than me. But we both enjoyed art. Making coffee is an art form. My major was Fine Arts. Whatever it was that caused Daphne to change her mind about me, I needed to figure out how to get Daphne back and get rid of Ash as soon as possible!

I went to school the next day. When I arrived on campus, there were many women and gays admiring me and whispering amongst themselves.

"Alex is really handsome," a girl with long straight hair and bangs said quietly to her medium-haired female companion.

"To be honest, my dream is for him to be my boyfriend, and I was thinking about getting his number. Is that a good idea?" the medium-haired girl replied quietly.

"Hey, girl, get in line!" A redhead girl said. "I'll be the first to date Alex."

"I hope you're the first to go to heaven!" exclaimed the dark-haired girl.

"Hey, Britney and Stacey! Don't squabble there! You're fighting over Alex as if he were the best thing on campus. If you are in a relationship with him, you will both experience hell!”

"Why are you saying that, Venus?" The redhead girl Britney asked the dark-haired girl.

"I heard he's a ladies' man!" Venus replied, her voice so loud it sounded like she was yelling. It appeared that Venus was angry with me, but why?

I approached Venus gently and asked, "Who told you that?"

"What? That you're a ladies' man?" Venus scoffed. "You've been sleeping with a lot of ladies in our batch, and they do talk a lot. I really don't care about the way you live your life, to be honest, but you really hurt my friend. You used her. You took advantage of her."

Venus' face was deep red with rage. She acted as if she wanted to kill me.

"What is your friend's name?" I asked her calmly.

"Ginger," Venus replied.

So the zealous woman was her friend? Hmm.

"Ginger and I agreed with our setup. We were only friends. We did, in fact, sleep together. But we weren't in a relationship. To be more specific, we were friends with benefits.”

"However, you still broke her heart!" Venus grumbled.

"It's not my problem," I said curtly.

Venus spat on my face. "You bitch!” Bryan yelled at Venus. "How dare you do such a thing to Alex Pierce!"

Venus gave him the middle finger. "You can go straight to hell!" she yelled. She then walked away.

I went to my classes. I concentrated on the seat work and quizzes. When my professor assigned me a group project, I also assisted my classmates. My groupmates elected me as group leader. I was relieved that my classmates' trust in me had returned following the shambles that occurred during a group project during which I was absent for a few days. I reverted to my responsible self. As the leader, I delegated the tasks to my team members. I became more hands-on, making myself aware of every detail of the project and keeping track of my groupmates' updates. I made certain that everyone was contributing to the project.

My classmates and teachers were all impressed by my work. They are pleased because I have made numerous contributions to this class. I had been elected class president. Previously, I was unable to focus on my responsibilities due to my heartache. But now I was completely focused on everything. My grades used to be mediocre, but they were now improving. I was on my way back to being a top student. It still appears that I could make the Dean's list.

I went out to lunch with some friends. We ate at Kentucky Fried Chicken. When I was in a good mood, I would always tell my friends that we would eat at a fast-food restaurant rather than the cafeteria. I had one fried chicken leg, one cup of rice, one cup of corn, and a Coke Zero. Jake, one of my friends, had two thigh parts, one cup of rice, and an iced tea. Ron had the wing part, mashed potatoes, a cup of rice, and orange juice.

"You're back to being a nerd," Jake, my long-haired classmate and friend said after a bite of his fried chicken and one tablespoon of rice.

"Geez, if a nerd is that attractive, I'd like to be a nerd," Ron joked. He was chewing on his wing.

"You are right about that. "Alex has both the looks and the brains," Jake responded. "Please save some for us," he begged. I laughed.

My friends and I kept eating.

"I heard about the commotion that crazy bitch Venus caused. She said you slept with her friend Ginger and broke her heart," Jake said. "Is that correct? " He asked.

"Yeah," I replied unemotionally.

"Ginger is lovely. Did you and she end up together? " Ron asked.

"No," I replied. "However, she was spreading the lie that we were in a relationship when we weren't."

"So, I take it you don't like her?" Ron asked. He sipped his orange juice.

"I like her, but I don't want to be in a relationship with her," I stated flatly.

"Oh nice, she's obsessed with you," Ron said with a chuckle.

"What part of that is nice? She's been telling everyone she's my ex. She made me look bad in their eyes," I told Ron. I was annoyed.

"Just chill, bro," Jake added. "Ignore the girl and the rumors. We know what is true."

"Thank you for believing in me," I thanked my friends.

Jake replied, "No problem."

"Don't worry," Ron said.

We finished our meals and went to class in the afternoon.