Chapter Ten

“He asked if he wanted to be friends with benefits, just until we forgot about our unrequited loves,” I replied as I checked my phone to see if Dos had texted me, but he hadn’t.

Seriously, how am I supposed to move on if I’m like this? I sighed at my foolishness and looked at Reo as he spoke.

“That sounds like bad news,” he says. “Kharris, you were aware of my past. I’ve been through that kind of set-up before, and it didn’t end well. Yes, I was able to forget my ex when I entered into a purely physical relationship, but it hurt twice as much when my fuck buddy rejected me because I couldn’t stop myself from falling in love with him. You saw how miserable I’ve been, it’s been two years, but until now — I’m still afraid to love again.”

“It’s not impossible for sex to turn into love, Kharris. Think about it carefully.”

“Wow, that sounds terrifying.” I hugged myself because the thought of me falling in love with Uno and being broken-hearted again made me cringe. I mean, the agony of falling in love with the twins and having both fail will be unbearable.

“Can I just date you instead?” I asked Reo, triggering him to hit the brakes and look at me as if I had said something disgusting.

“Jesus Christ! Stop asking scary things!” I laughed out loud and then slapped his arm, but it backfired because I forgot my arm was bruised. I just put up with it because I enjoy teasing him, and it makes my heart feel better when he’s disgusted by me. Maybe I’m insane for even enjoying it. Is it possible I’m a masochist?

“Come on, let’s give it a shot; what if we’re really the ones meant for each other?”

“No way in hell; it never crossed my mind to date a friend.”

“Why is that? You’re a top, right?” I mischievously irritated him, causing him to choke on his own saliva, and I laughed again.

“What does my position as a top have to do with it? You just lost your virginity, and you’ve completely lost the filter in your mouth,” he remarked.

“Who’s to blame for that? You’re the reason I’m currently addicted to boy’s love and erotic novels. You’re the reason I know so much about the adult world,” I laughed, before taking a deep breath to calm myself. “But, on a serious note, I’d like to try Uno’s proposition.”

“Why?”

“I’m curious, and I’m desperate to get over my unrequited love for Dos, also...” I trailed off before biting my fingernail, “The sex was so satisfying that I craved to do it again.”

I covered my face when I said that because I was embarrassed and didn’t feel like I was in my own body. I’m not sure, perhaps it was because it was my first time? I mean, I have a strong desire for something that satisfies me, such as food—when I like the taste of it, I want to taste it again.

“Maybe I was possessed by a horny spirit,” I said, taking my hand away from my face and looking at Reo, who was shaking his head.

“You’re dangerous, Khariss.” he commented.

“Tell me about it,” I shrugged as I looked at my phone and saw Dos’ message. I sat up straighter with a brighter expression on my face.

[Grandma said she misses you.] I smiled and typed quickly so I could respond to him. Aside from the twins, I’m also close to their grandparents, who lived in the Philippines for a year before. If my memory serves me correctly. I was 15 and the twins are 22.

[Tell her I miss her as well. Along with her cookies.]

[And what about me?] I’m not sure, but it seems like my heart stopped beating for a second and then began to beat faster. He’s already engaged, but he’s still asking this type of question; this is one of the reasons I believe he has feelings for me, he’s leading me on without him knowing.

[No.] I replied right away, even though it wasn’t true. I just bit my lower lip because it felt wrong that we were still having this kind of conversation.

[You’re so cold. Lol, I’ll message you again later. Take care and study hard, Ms. Future Architect.]

“Kharris, we’re here,” Reo said, and it was only then that I realized we were already in the school’s parking lot. I hid my phone and unbuckled my seatbelt, but I moved my arm incorrectly which made me groan in pain.

“Shit,” I cursed as I tightly closed my eyes.

“What’s the matter?” Reo asked, concerned. I was about to respond, but he had already noticed that something was wrong with my arm. He gave me a frown and gently touched my wrist.

“It’s nothin—”

“What the actual hell?” He exclaimed when he lifted my sleeve and saw the long bruises caused by dad’s belt. I pursed my lift and, despite the pain, I withdrew my wrist and lowered my sleeve.

“I’m fine,” I assured him. “I’m really fine.”

“There’s no way you’re fine, Kharris; stay here and don’t move an inch,” he commanded as he rushed out of the car. I just shook my head and looked at my phone when I got a message from Uno. Hmm? What’s the matter with him? He texted me first for the first time.

[Grand Tower Hotel, after your class.]

I literally tilted my head sideways because I’m perplexed, what’s his deal?

[Are you on drugs? What does that mean?] I replied, but I did not receive a response. I rolled my eyes in annoyance; he’s really getting on my nerves.

“Your father is insane! How could he give you these lashes? I’m already in pain just looking at it.” Reo complained as he lifted my sleeve once more and began cold compressing the bruises on my arm. He even went to the infirmary just for this. I usually treat myself when something like this happens, but I didn’t this time because I didn’t have time.

“Why are you acting as if this is the first time you’ve seen these lashes?” I tried to laugh it off.

He’d already seen me like this before, not just on the arm but also on the back. If I recall correctly, it was finals in my second year when he saw that I was completely beaten. I was getting dressed after spilling juice on my uniform during our review at their house. He was about to hand me a shirt and had no idea I was already taking off my uniform. I believe that was the first time he realized that my father was beating me.

In all honesty, I don’t want other people to know about my family’s situation. I don’t know but I’m scared and ashamed at the same time. I grew up in a happy and complete family, but it all crumbled. My mother who’s a famous model committed suicide and because my father is a jerk, he fabricated her death by making it appear as if she died as a result of a car accident.

He even paid those who knew the truth just so that mom’s suicide would not be publicized. And just when I thought there was nothing worse than that; three weeks after my mom’s funeral, dad took his mistress home, even taking her daughter with her.

My family is a complete mess. Who, in their right mind, would be proud of that? People who know me are also aware of how happy and outgoing I am. I don’t want them to feel sorry for me, and I don’t want them to judge me once they realize how miserable my life is. I’ve been doing a good job of putting up a front, and I’m not going to let it all go to waste. I don’t want them to realize how weak and vulnerable I am.

“You know that my sister is a lawyer, right? Let’s file a case—”

“You make it sound so simple, Reo. You know I’m not going to win against my father.” I interrupted what my friend was about to say. I know he cares about me, and I appreciate that, but I don’t want to drag him into my problems, and I don’t want to bother him.

“Let’s at least give it a try,” he insisted.

“How about the payment? I don’t have the money to pay your sister and everything I have now... It’s from dad.” I sighed because it’s really not easy for me to get rid of my father from my life. I have to put up with everything as long as I’m in his custody. I’m about to graduate and will be able to support myself once I earn my own money. Only then will I be brave enough to cut ties with him.

“We can ask her to—”

“No way, Reo. My face isn’t thick enough to ask for a discount or a free service from your sister. She worked hard to study law; I can’t let her treat me differently just because I’m your friend,” I said firmly, and he just nodded in defeat. I know I’m being stubborn but I stick to my guns once I’ve made a decision. It’s not an easy task to change my mind.

I just placed my hand on top of Reo’s head and gently ruffled his long hair. I could tell he felt bad for me when he looked at me, which is one of the reasons I don’t want other people to know my struggles. I believe my situation will be a significant burden for them.

“Let’s go, we’ll be late for the first subject,” I said before smiling sweetly and lowering my sleeve because he’d already finished applying a cold compress to my bruises.

“Are you sure you’re all right, Kharris?” he asked, his eyes filled with concern. I just nodded to reassure him. These lashes were nothing compared to the emotional anguish I’ve been going through for the past five years. All of the physical pain I received from my father will go away, but the verbal abuse I received from him and his mistress, as well as the trauma I experienced, will not.

People may think I’m tough, but I do falter from time to time. Because I am afraid of being a burden, I try to solve problems on my own without bothering others. I keep my emotions bottled up, which is why I always end up suffering. But, after all of that, I’ll act as if nothing happened, as if I’m not struggling. I’m not sure when it started but being strong and brave became my defense mechanism. It’s my way of shielding myself from other people.

“Don’t worry about me. I’m totally fine.”