Chapter 48 KIMBERLY WOULD NEVER HIDE ANYTHING FROM ME.
48.
~RAFAEL~
I told Kimberly to stay back and it fucking pisses me off, but I'm scared of letting myself go in front of her for the second time again but I'm glad Rowan didn't precede on my decision, she brought her in and that's why I was able to hold on to that extent.
And I thought I could handle it if someone that's not as familiar as Declan asked me the question, it would make it easier for me to answer.
But the hardness of her voice, devoid of emotions as she grilled me made me tense up, and I messed the whole thing up which I don't regret. I hate talking about Mom's death, because everything feels like it was my fault.
And it angers me, it keeps me awake at night that she's the one laying lax in the ground while I'm still here, thriving while living through each day feels like an unforgivable crime.
When Rowan asked me about Eliana, my tongue felt tied, because I don't know what to say to him.
Seeing the look on my face, he told the lawyers to excuse us, leaving me and Kimberly in the room but we still have an unwanted audience.
"Kimberly, please can you stay in my office until I'm done here?" I suddenly turn to her who's busy staring at me with compassion.
This fucking woman, she tugs me in every damned way possible.
"Sure." She answers a little bit easily, as if she understood why I have to be alone with Rowan to deal with it.
Rowan and I both watch her exit the room and once she's out of sight, He steps closer to me.
"What did Eliana have in her sleeves this time around? Or she's asking for money?" He questions, his tone is still hard and pissed. Rowan is probably angry that I flared up at the female lawyer not because I showed emotions when she asked me the questions but how I projected it.
"No, not that. It's about Frederick, I didn't ask in detail because she's probably full of bullshit."I answer tiredly, running the crease of my forehead.
His shoulders drop and he leans at the edge of the table.
"Eliana is very sneaky, are you sure she doesn't have something that can help us with Baxter's case?" He asks again.
Even if she does, I don't think I have the courage to give Baxter out like that, it's not just in me yet.
Rowan suddenly pulls away from the table and scoffs at me."Wait, don't tell me you're still trying to protect him even when you're about to get fucked up by him?"
I sigh tiredly and shake my head but he's not having it.
"Scratch that, Rafael, you're already fucked because of what Baxter said, your lawyers can't even have a straight conversation with you because you're busy flaring up and trying to keep something not worth keeping sacred safe."
My restraint snaps immediately and I glare at him."Don't you dare trivialize my reasons for not hearing her out, you know that..."
"You still feel guilty for your mom's death and her depression but I'm going to discard your hand while I tell you this, Rafael. It's fucking bullshit!" He yells angrily at me, his voice rough and hard at me.
"Rowan...."
"Bullshit! Rafael, Bullshit!" He insists again.
"You actually want me to throw Baxter under the bus knowing that he was Mom's favorite?" The words roll out of me in difficulty.
Admitting that Baxter was Mom's favorite son, the admission splays nothing but searing pain through my chest.
"Now, let me tell you the difference between you and that son of a bitch. While you're busy trying to be coy and reserved about him, he would latch on to any opportunity he sees to see you crumble, that's why he's prevailing over you right now."
"I will find another way to tackle this, trust.."
"What did Eliana say?" Rowan repeats.
"She said some bullshit about Frederick's allergies and his estimated time of death and how it was a contrast to Kim's movement then."
His face piques in interest immediately and stares at the door."Was that why you sent her out? You should ask her what went down that day."
I shake my head in disapproval, I hate to be the reason why Kimberly would remember that, and I still believe that she killed Frederick which I'm not angry about, I love that she's taking the trophy.
"She hates talking about Frederick."
I still wonder why she hasn't flared at me properly concerning Frederick. It amuses me.
"I'm going to find out about everything that Eliana said, but I hope that when it's time to use it against your beloved brother, it won't be too late then." He presses his second finger against my chest hard and storms out of the room.
Shutting my eyes,I throw my head back in confusion, a part of me wants to believe Eliana, she was so passionate with her explanations earlier and it seems true, but too good to be true.
If I have to use that against Baxter, Mom would definitely roll in her grave for making a mess of her favorite son and not care about me who sacrificed my childhood to take care of her depressed self, how she would curse at me every night to sleep while I pack the empty alcohol bottles in the stench filled room.
Or how she would throw things at me, and how her face would get soft when Baxter's name is mentioned while she will harden up like a nut at the mention of mine.
I genuinely don't want to add to that misery, it would kill me, I just hope Baxter stops at this point.
I walk back to my office where Kim is, she stands up the moment I step into the room.
"Hey, are you okay?" She asks, walking up to me, her face rumbled with softness and the urge to kiss her breathless in appreciation, for staying through and not flinching when I flared up but pacified me instead.
Yeah, I acted like a dick but Kim didn't judge me then.
"Do you have anything to say to me?" I ask, gripping her waist closer to myself and raise her up a little bit so that the feel of her boobs is on my hard chest.
She tenses against me a bit but her features relax again.
"No, Rafael." She answers confidently and it feels like a huge stone is being rolled off my chest and breathing no longer feels like a chore at that moment.
Right, Kim would never hide anything from me anymore. She would never do that to me. Never.