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Chapter 28 part 1 Passenger's Seat Circling the wine glass on my right hand, I watched the raindrops on the window glass of my office race from falling down. I sipped there while watching the fairly heavy downpour outside. I am not fond of the rain but today, it feels like it's the most beautiful phenomenon on Earth. Earlier, I can't concentrate on my work. I had a lot of work to finish but I didn't have one to start. I can't even type a single word on my laptop. So, I decided to stop and try to calm down my nerves. I'm sure my effort will just be wasted when I force myself to work now. I'm sure I don't have any paperkworks that are sober. I better pamper what I'm feeling now, and maybe lose it so I can be okay later. I let out a deep sigh. The thick and dark clouds in the sky is sympathizing with me. How many more bottles of wine do I need to consume to calm down? A knock on my door stopped me from my deep thoughts. I immediately turned to the one who opened my door. "Thalia, dear, let's go. Sir is coming down …" Monette said in a happy tone. I nodded and faked a smile. "I'm next," "Okay," When he closed the door I turned over my wine glass again. I completely devoured its contents. Fuck. Yesterday, Monette went here in my office again to tell me a news that made me sleepless last night. We were hired by La Sirene for their project. At first I was still happy but when Dad called me to his office it was all day without my face being painted. "Have you heard the news?" Dad asked. "About our deal with La Sirene, Dad?" "Yes," He answered. "Uh, Monette told me about it earlier …" "Good. I called you here to talk about it." I nodded, thinking that it's really important that we talk about it. "La Sirene asks for a personnel who will guide the deliveries of our products to their hotel. Even if they don't say that I will definitely send our man to monitor the transaction there. We only have caretakers and guards there," I nodded again, understanding what Dad said. A skilled person from our firm must be involved in the renovation that La Sirene will do to monitor and support the distribution of materials to them. Dad cleared his throat when I kept silent. "I've decided, I will send you to Zambales, hija. You will be in charge of delivering the materials from our warehouse to La Sirene." Immediately my eyes widened. "P-po?" "Don't worry, Jared will be there, too, to monitor their project. Most times, you will be with him. You will be reporting to him." I turned pale and dropped my jaw. What the hell! It's okay for me to be assigned there. But Jared was probably there too and we were still together often, not okay anymore! "Is that fine with you?" Dad asked insensitively. I washed my palm over my face. "Dad … no … I mean," I took a deep breath. Daddy's forehead is already furrowed because of what I'm up to. "Can you just send Monette?" I said in the most problematic tone. I knew there was nothing I could do if Jared actually went there because he was the President of La Sirene. But I can ask my Dad to deploy Monette instead of me just so I won't be dealing with him! He immediately shook. "I can't, Thalia. You know her situation. Her mother is sick and she needs to take care of her. If I send her there, she won't be able to take care of her mother for two months. And at least you won't be left with any obligation here," I became even weaker. Two fucking months ?! No effing way! "Can't anyone else be sent there? Jim? Ashley? Even Hiro. I'm busy here, dad. I still have a lot to do-" "Hija, you two and Monette are the most suitable for this project. You are our inventory managers. And I already explained to you Monette's situation so you are really the only one who can be sent there. Don't worry about the jobs you will leave here. I 'm sure Monette can handle it while you're away. It's just two months, anyway. You just need to guide La Sirene on their initial operation. " Just two months? Two months with Jared ?! How can I avoid him then? How can I forget him then? I 'm done. I gritted my teeth, trying to contain all my emotions within me. I feel like if I'll talk, I'll just erupt like a volcano. I don't want that. Chapter 28 part 2 If Dad knows what really happened between Jared and me in the past, I'm fucking sure he won't even respond to La Sirene's invitation. I feel like I want to regret not telling them my reasons then. Telling it to them now would make me so immature and … bitter. I know it's just work but … darn! Dad held my hand. I looked at him. "I don't know why you're reacting like that but take this as a challenge, Thalia. This is also for your career's growth. Imagine the achievement you'll get if people will learn that our firm supplied the materials for La Sirene and you will be in charge of it. You will be praised, hija. " I took a deep breath. Seems like I don't have a choice but to agree to Dad. He didn't even pay attention to my negative reactions. This is business, Thalia. Don't mix it with your personal life. Be professional. "So, are you in for this?" I looked at my Dad's weary eyes. I just stared at his face for so long. There are wrinkles around his eyes and he seems to be a few years older than his real age, proof is that his white hair is too much. My chest tightened when I realized that the reason behind it is our business. It's stressing him too much. If I don't mature, she doesn't expect anyone else to care about our business especially since Daphne is still studying. I also don't want Mommy to be stressed for us. Damn. I'm so doomed. I swallowed the bile in my throat and answered, "I'm all in for this, Dad." Chapter 28 part 3 And that's why I'm this spacing out right now. I glanced at my wrist watch. I put down the wine glass I was holding on the center table of the sofa in my office and went out to go to the meeting where we would discuss all the details of our project at La Sirene. He says he no longer has what happened four years ago but he has yet to forgive me. I accept that. I don't expect him to forgive me easily after all that I did. I'm fine there. Probably well he gave me the assurance I could forget about him. Because, if I wait for him to forgive me before I start again, if I just forget him the day he forgives me, I might just grow old as a virgin. Do I know if he was deeply angry with me and that it lasted for decades? I will forget him while doing something for his forgiveness. Maybe, this La Sirene project thing can help me do that. Maybe when I worked well, he would forgive me. That's all I can think of that way. He didn't need my care and even more he didn't need my tender caress so he could forgive me. Maybe Miara will even rush me when that's the kind of apology I'm going to make. And hell, I won't do that! So, I will work hard for La Sirene while avoiding him. That's the perfect way of asking for forgiveness while trying to forget him. "Do you want me to come with you?" I stopped packing and turned to Aldrin who had been quietly watching my movements. His eyes were full of worry and concern. I was swallowed. Seeing him looking at me like that told me that I am really in a bad situation. If only I could really take him to Zambales … "You have a job here," I averted my eyes from him. "So, you want me to come with you?" His tone is accusing. "No!" I answer immediately. "I mean …" Darn. I don't want him to know I'm scared. The more I don't want him to know I want to get worse. He has a lot of work! My shoulder dropped and I sighed. "You don't have to come. I'm okay." I gave him an assuring smile. No, I'm not. I just said that so he wouldn't have to worry. I knew when he found out I was still scared to face Jared he wouldn't hesitate to leave PAV to join me. That is not possible. My conscience would not allow it. Her eyes narrowed. I looked away. "No, you're not." He declared. Chapter 28 part 4 He could easily say that because to him I rant how much I hate doing this. "I am. I will be." "Thalia …" He warned. I slammed my suitcase shut and bravely faced him. "Don't worry about me, Aldrin. I'm not the fragile Thalia anymore. That's the duration. Besides, this is for my job. I will be doing this for our firm." That statement wasn't actually for him. It's actually for me. He now let out a deep sigh. "I'm just worried. I know you are strong now. But you still love him," My fist clenched. Those words. For your slap on me. That porket I love him I can no longer afford to be professional. I became even more courageous to go to Zambales. I want to prove to him, to Jared, and especially to myself that even if I'm hurting, I will continue living. "So what? Not because I love him doesn't mean I can't do my job properly. I have grown now, Aldrin. I can handle it." We spent some more minutes arguing about it before we decided to go out of my room. Aldrin and I were so close that I wouldn't have counted on him if we were just in the same room. We're not doing bad inside, anyway. Today I am leaving for Zambales. I am carrying a large suitcase. Aldrin carried it down the stairs while I was holding the handbag that I was also carrying. I just wanted to take a plane to get there faster but La Sirene said that the team that will be deployed there will go to Zambales together and I will be there to fix it. Included in the team that they will be sending are the engineers and the foreman. We had two vans and they said they would pick me up here, courtesy of La Sirene. La Sirene also shouldered our accommodation there. They have reserved us economy rooms which will serve as our quarters. But my dad being a loving father, he requested to upgrade my room into a Presidential suite. I haven't protested there yet. I'm sure I'd be more comfortable if I stay in a larger room alone. I walk down the stairs earlier than Aldrin. When I was in the last grade I was statuesque to what was seen on our sofa. Son of a … Jared, in his fresh and clean cut hair is in our sofa and is talking to my Dad! "Oh. He's already there. Thalia!" Dad calls. Jared turned to me. We were right. I immediately averted my gaze. I feel like my heart will come out of my ribcage anytime soon. It's painfully throbbing! What is he doing here ?! This is a deja vu-no, this scenario already took place countless times four years ago. Jared waiting for me in that same couch while I fix myself in my room for our date! He's even wearing a blue henley shirt and a faded jeans - the kind of clothes he usually wears during our dates before. Damn. When Aldrin reached me on the last rung of the stairs he squeezed my waist. I looked up at him. His forehead was furrowed and his eyes were questioning. I only gave him a shrug because I really don't know what's happening, too. He turned to Daddy. "Tito," his voice was cold with ice. "Aldrin, son. Thanks for helping Thalia pack her things, huh?" Jared sneezed. Aldrin turned to him first before Dad answered. "My pleasure, Tito." If Dad wasn't here today I might have fainted earlier. This is too much to handle! Dad turned to me. "Son, Jared has been waiting for you for a while." My forehead furrowed and the question increased again in my brain. Why then? "Why, Tito?" It was Aldrin who responded to my curiosity. "The two vans are full. Thalia can't fit in there. She's going with me." Jared's fat groin then dark expression turned to me. Chapter 28 part 5 My jaw dropped extremely. No way! We've been together for two months and now I can still travel with him for a few hours? Is destiny making fun of me? I was about to protest when Aldrin butted in. "If that's the case, then, there's no need to." He turned to Dad. "Tito, I'll just take Thalia to Zambales-" "Why else? I'm here too," Jared snapped at him. I have been swallowed. C'mon, Thalia! Say something or the situation might get worse! Aldrin's fist clenched. I caressed his arm to calm him down. I glanced at Jared. My stomach grew cold as I saw his jaw clench hard as he watched my hand on Aldrin's arm. Unconsciously, I removed it from there. Dad chuckled. I was a little irritated. He didn't seem to feel the tension between the two! "Don't worry about Thalia too much, Aldrin. She's safe with Jared. You'll still be disturbed if you take Thalia to Zambales." "She isn't a bother to me, Tito." "Aldrin …" I said, it's almost like whisper. He turned to me. "It's fine. I'll just go with J-Jared…" I don't have a choice. It's okay maybe, 'isn't it? I'll just ride. I can't die for that! I need to convince myself that it really is just fine. I don't want to make other people worry anymore. Aldrin sighed in a very defeated manner. "Tss." We all turned to Jared. I felt annoyed. It's calm and it's burning again! My irritation melted away and was replaced by a strange feeling when he turned to me. "I'll wait for you outside." He then turned to Dad. "Uncle," "All right, son." Chapter 28 part 6 When Jared got out Dad turned to us. "I'll go to my office now. Aldrin, take Thalia out then follow me to the office. I need your help on something," Aldrin nodded. Dad turned to me now. "Take care, hija," He patted my head. "Thanks, Dad." When Daddy left, Aldrin took me outside. A black SUV popped up on me after exiting. I was a little taken aback. Is this Jared's car? Where is his Corvette? The questions on my mind got interrupted when Jared went out from the driver's seat and approached us. "Is this all your luggage?" He pointed at my bag held by Aldrin. "Yes …" He nodded. "I will put it on the back of the car now." "Uh, okay …" It was quiet that Aldrin let go. Jared's jaw clenched before finally taking it and placing it in the back of his car. As much as I want to help him or present myself that I will just put my luggage in his car, I am ashamed. And I'm sure Aldrin won't present himself, too. As Jared put that down Aldrin confronted me. "Are you sure you're fine with this? I can drive you all the way to Zambales, Thalia. I'm serious." My cheeks got hot. Aldrin didn't even lower his voice when he said that. Jared must have heard what he said. Jared slammed the door. I didn't look at him anymore because I was scared. Only then did I speak when I felt him return to the driver's seat. "I'm really okay, Aldrin. I'll just ride." I smiled at him but my lips just trembled. I don't want to exaggerate the issue here. I'll just ride again, e. Aldrin sighed again for the nth time. He pulled me closer for a hug. My body stiffened at what he did for no apparent reason. He kissed my hair and whispered sensually on my ear. "Take care, Thalia. Don't hesitate to call me if you have a problem. I'm only miles away." I smiled on his chest. "Thanks, Aldrin." Our moment got interrupted when Jared's car beeped. Chapter 28 part 7 I immediately pulled out from our hug and finally went inside Jared's car. I was still confused at first where I would sit. Eventually I opened the door of the shotgun seat and there sat. "Seatbelt," Jared ordered in a low voice when I closed the door. I tremble what you put on me. He then started driving. Every step of the car away from home makes me feel heavier. It's like I'm getting closer to danger. Bahala na. Deafening silence dominated us. There is awkwardness in the air. I was motionless and could barely breathe. I'm just not sure if he feels that way too. I feel like I'm the only one. Why would he feel awkward, by the way? If he feels something right now, I'm sure it's only indifference. I spent the first thirty minutes of the trip furtively observing the interiors of his car. I am innovating. This is not the vehicle I am used to driving him. I am used to him driving his Chevrolet Corvette. My heart ached. The symbols of us were really gone. Who was the first woman he rode here? I'm sure it's Miara. Compared to the Corvette back then which was super flashy it had a more formal look. This is a Jaguar F-Pace. The Corvette gives people the impression that its owner is a badboy or something while this Jaguar makes people think that it is owned by a CEO or a big person. This is his thing now. His car also reflects the new Jared. Mysterious and earnest. My heart stings everytime I think that the loud and fun Jared is already gone. That's your Jared that I love. That's your Jared to me. But then again, that Jared is already gone. I don't know what's more attractive, though. The old, or the new Jared? I think, both. My mind was debating whether I would sleep on the trip or not. I don't want him to sleep because it's embarrassing. I also don't want to stay awake. I could almost hear the sound of crickets because of the blaring silence between us. The awkward! Eventually, I fell asleep with a nap. Some days I couldn't sleep because of thinking about this assignment of mine. And it's not because I'm excited but because of dread and nervousness. When I woke up we were still on the road. The roads were unusually wide so I concluded that we're on expressway. I glanced at my watch. It's already past eleven in the morning. How long are we traveling now? I couldn't ask him. It was past seven when we left the house, e. I was taken aback by the memory of the roads we had traveled. I remember these roads! Damn. This is exactly it! These are also the roads Jared and I used to walk while I was having so much fun! I shifted on my seat and turned to the window. Beads of tears formed on my eyes while I reminisce our memories. I remember how I brought out my head from his Corvette's window when we're passing by this area on New Year's eve four years ago. I remember how I spread my arms widely in the open air as the December's breeze welcomes my face. I remember how I closed my eyes as the wind touches my skin. I remember shouting so loud because I couldn't contain the joy and freedom I feel inside me anymore. I remember the sound of his chuckle as he watches me go loud and wild. I remember him calling me 'baby'. Damn it! It's tormenting to think that we couldn't happily reminisce our memories here together anymore. What we are going through now is just nothing for him. I'm the only one who remembers. All our memories together were already replaced by their memories in US. I closed my eyes to stop my tears from falling. No, Thalia. You promised to yourself that you won't cry because of him again. "Are you already hungry?" Jared asked in a low baritone. "H-not yet," I answered without looking at him. Funny how he can talk to me casually after all that happened. As I was already trembling in his presence. A proof that I have no effect on him. To him, I'm just a part of his ugly past. "We'll stop by a restaurant soon. We'll have lunch there. The trip is still a bit long." "Okay …" Once again my chest tightened. I remember how caring he is towards me before and until now. Miara, you are so lucky! After that he did not speak. Why would he speak? I bet he'd rather shut up the whole time than to talk to me. In fact, he even turned the radio on. For maybe he was having fun. A familiar tune from the radio made my breathing hitch. Destiny seems to be at odds. I know that song. Just the first line, I closed my eyes again. "I look at her and have to smile As we go driving for a while Her hair blowing in the open window of my car " The pain of my heart. I remember that song playing on the radio of his corvette while I was shouting so loud! "And as we go the traffic lights I watch them glimmer in her eyes In the darkness of the evening " I don't want to look to the front anymore. I don't want to see Jared's expression. Because I knew I would only get hurt. I bet the song doesn't affect him at all. I'm the only one who remembers the memory of that song! "And I've got all I need Right here in the passenger seat And I can't keep my eyes on the road Just knowing that she's inches from me " I slowly felt the hot liquids fall from my eyes. The tears I had been holding back kept flowing. It rolled down my cheeks. Simultaneously with the dripping of them was the pain of my heart and once again its destruction. That song … that song that's supposed to make me smile when it plays because of the memories it gave me. But now, it just makes me mourn for the love that I lost.