18

Chapter 18 part 1 Reason I avoided Jared again because of what Aldrin said. When Aldrin was currently telling me those things, I wanted to excuse myself and go to Jared, ask him if it's true that he stopped Aldrin, confront him if he just really plays with me. But after Aldrin took me home, I suddenly became discouraged. If I'll ask him and he admits it, then what happens to me? Left in tears? Victim of a playboy? Previously, I said I could keep up with the game if he was just really playing me. But now, I don't think so. But what if he says no? Will I be able to believe him? It doesn't seem like that anymore, e. Then, it's better if I don't ask him at all anymore. But I knew I would not be at peace. I can't just ignore about that. I better avoid him for the meantime and I'll confront him when I'm ready. Maybe I'll weigh things and cool down myself first because I am seriously hurt and mad and I don't want to confront him when I feel these. I want to be more rational, I want space, so that I can justify his doings. Maybe I'll just do things I'll regret when I talk to him now. I'll observe Jared. That is to distance myself to him for the meantime. "Thalia, Jared is downstairs," Nanny Gina called as she knocked on my door. I stopped combing. It's been three days since the last time I talked to him. He may not have noticed that I was avoiding him. Or maybe yes because neither a text reply nor a response to his call was there. I was also unfamiliar with him personally. When he's at home is what excuse I say just so we don't meet in the living room and when he visits school to see me, I hide him. Fortunately, he is busy with his OJT so he is not too difficult to avoid. "Yeah, I don't think I'm going in. I feel bad, eh." He's here again to try his luck to drive me to school. I'm running out of excuses. I can't just be harsh to him. I don't have proof yet. "Huh?" Yaya knocked again. "Oh, you're young! Have you taken your medicine then?" "There's no need, ya. I'll just go to sleep. Please just tell those below not to come here with me." I faked a cough. "I'm fine," "Sure." I sighed when I felt Yaya leave. How long will I avoid him? My daily life is already affected. I really need to go to school! If I were to be absent, I might fall into a subject. I just washed my two palms on my face. Maybe I'll just deliver to Mang Edgar later when he comes back from delivering to Daph. Moments later Mommy knocked on my door. "Thalia, hija, what happened to you?" I ran to my bed and lay down. My chest was pounding so hard because of the nervousness. "I'm fine, 'My. I think I just caught a cold." I faked a cough again. I'll just tell them later that I feel better so I can go to school. "Is that so?" She paused for a while. "Jared is beside me. We bought you meds. Care to open the door?" "Thal …" Jared crooned. I bit my lower lip. Jared calling me on my name is music to my ears. But right now, his voice is the kind of music that I shouldn't be hearing. "I'm really fine, guys. You might just get infected when you come in," I heard Mommy sigh. "You are one stubborn girl." He sighed again. "I'll check on you again later … Sorry for Thalia. Are you going to your duty now, son?" "Yes. Tita, can you update me about Thalia's condition later?" That was the last I heard before the voices finally disappeared. Maybe the stairs are down. I let out a deep sigh. I'll just wait for an hour before I go to school. I jumped when my phone vibrated because of a text. Unknown Number: Good morning! This is Aldrin. Got your cp number from Brent. I went to your class earlier to check on you but you weren't there. Is there something wrong? She's already hinting. Even before I could type a reply, Brent also texted. Brent: Aha! You slut. Aldrin, too, have you tamed him? How did it happen, Mare? Before I could curse back Brent, I got another message again. I held my breath. Jared: Please drink your medicine, Thal. Get well soon. Hope I can take care of you. My heart pounded so hard but when I remembered that he might only be deceiving me, my heart ached. Because playboys are like that. They are good at forging emotions. What you thought was true is what they show but it was just a game for them. And when you have paid a lot, then they will leave you. Because they have succeeded. Or am I just thinking of the worst on Jared? The amount he did for me. He told me he likes me, he told me he loves me and I felt it. Is it still a game for him then? But even 'I love you' and 'I like you' are easy to say now even if you don't really feel it. Damn. I replied to their text messages except on Jared's. Me to Aldrin: Morning, too! I 'm fine. Someone just took care of it. Thanks for the concern Me to Brent: You hoe. Stop making a fuss about it. It's all in the rules So, I went to school after an hour. It was good and they immediately believed mommy in my excuse. Brent was bugging me the whole day about what's happening but he got nothing from me. I don't think I can tell anyone what's going on between the three of us. That's just me. Just us. I don't want to hear others' opinions. I might just explode even more. "I think Aldrin likes you now," I remained silent. Brent punched me without me saying a word. "What do you think, Mare?" It's not just 'I think'. It's the truth. He just told me that he likes me a few days ago … "Tssss." Honestly, I don't want to think about what Aldrin admitted first. There's a bigger problem I needed to address. I'll go crazy if I'll think of two problems one at a time. Chapter 18 part 2 "Oh. I thought you're sick? " I closed the car door first before answering. It's only now that Daphne and I are going home together. Because I am always delivered by … "I got fine immediately, so …" I shrugged. "Why have you been with us these past few days? Where's brother Jared?" I rolled my eyes. My brother is really an issue. "He's busy …" "Tss … don't fool me, ate. You are avoiding him again." I fell silent. Her detective mode is on again. "I really don't want to mingle with your issues with boys but this one is really bugging my concern 'coz we're pretty close with brother Jared, sister. If you have a problem with someone, don't avoid that person. It will be unfair for him. You go tell him your problem, no matter how hard it is to say. It's silly when the person suddenly avoids you but you don't know why. " I bit my lower lip. Maybe what she's saying is right, but not all the time. It depends on the situation. I was still in the middle of anger and pain and when I confronted him now, the situation might only get worse. When the car got home I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. Jared's Corvette was parked in front of the house. "Avoiding the person isn't the answer to your problem. Tell him everything and I assure you, you'll feel light." Daphne tapped me on the shoulder before she got out of the car. I watched my brother enter the house first. Me, statued in my seat. A few more minutes passed before I decided to get out of the car. Bahala na. One step out of the car and I immediately saw Jared watching me walk closer to him with his brooding eyes. My heart pounded. I can't yet. I can't talk to him yet. I haven't been able to confront him yet. I am still discouraged. I was about to pass him when he spoke. "Hey," His voice is hoarse. "H-Hey," "Did you go to school?" "Uh … yes." Damn. Why did we suddenly become awkward? "Are you all right?" I nodded. "Uh, can I go inside first? I have to do my requirements, e." I prayed to pass him again but he grabbed my arm. "Are you avoiding me?" I was shocked. He already noticed. I looked into him and I felt pain and anger in my heart all at once. Why does he need to stop Aldrin from dating me? If he really wants to pursue me, he should've taken the challenge. That's annoying. And why do I need to know that he might be just playing around me? Heart disease. "I'm not." "Liar." Chapter 18 part 3 My lips protruded. "I was observing you for two days now, Thal. I thought maybe you were just too busy at school but I asked Brent if you were doing a lot at school but he said it's all over. It's just preparations for the finals. So why, Thal "Come on, tell me. What did I do wrong, baby?" My heart pounded so hard as his sorrowful eyes met mine. I don't have the strength to tell him. I was afraid I might get hurt even more. Daph said, I would be relieved when I told him what was bothering my mind. But why do I feel the opposite? I don't want to add more pain and anger to my heart. I removed his hand from my arm. His lips parted. "Nothing, Jared … excuse me." I walked quickly to my room. "Thal. Don't be like this, oh." He was able to follow me. "Jared, stop it. I have no problem." My voice broke. "Then why are you avoiding me-" Her question was cut short when I closed the door on her. He hit the door outside so hard. "Thal … open this, baby. Let's talk about it, please. "There was a hint of weakness in his voice. I leaned against the door. My tears began to flow heavily. I can't yet. If before I was angry and hurt, now I feel sorry and hurt for Jared. I fell asleep carrying the sadness and pain that had run through my chest. I feel so weak. Nevertheless, I still tried to get up and get ready to go to school. When I arrived at the table it was the critical eyes of my family that greeted me. I went to my seat. Remarkably there is no Jared here at the table today. For the past days, I haven't been with them to breakfast because of Jared. And now, this is what I can reach. It's all my doing, though. Dad sneezed and sat up but no words came out of his mouth. Daphne, on the other hand, only looks at the food but Mommy, she watches my every move. "Jared was here until eleven last night." I did not speak. I proceeded to take the dish. "If I hadn't sent him home he might have slept in front of your room." I tightened my grip on the spoon but I still did not speak. "Thalia Ysabel!" I jumped at Mommy's scream. "My …" Daphne stood up and walked over to Mommy. She caressed mom's back. Mom's breathing is heavy. I got nervous. "Daieanah. Let the kids deal with their own problems." Dad looked at me. Mommy ignored Dad and Daph. "I understand that you like Aldrin but why do you need to be so rude on Jared ?!" My heart ached. Mommy wasn't even updated on what's going on in my life. And people doesn't know the real story behind my actions and it fucking hurts to know that they think that I'm the black sheep here. I just bowed. If I only had the strength to ask him now, there would be nothing like this. "Mommy, stop it. I'm sure ate has her reasons," Dad looked at me apologetically. "All right son, eat your breakfast." I lost my appetite but I stayed at the table because I didn't want mommy to get even angrier. Tension dominated the whole area for the whole time. No one dared to speak again. I also went to school quietly. Chapter 18 part 4 As I stepped on the floor where our classroom was I immediately spotted Jared in front of the classroom, leaning back, hands in both pockets of his jeans pants. I stopped walking. I just want to run into him now and hug him but I just can't forget the thought that maybe he's just playing with me. My grip on my bag tightened as we looked at each other. He arranged for us. I took a deep breath and continued walking, hoping I wouldn't stop because of him. But when I was in front of him he reached out and gently touched my elbow. "Thal, please talk to me." his voice was tired. His bloodshot eyes made me more guilty. "Why are you here? You still have duty," I said coldly and without looking at him. "I won't go to my duty unless you talk to me." My jaw clenched. "I'm talking to you now." "This isn't the kind of talk that I want." I moaned. I confronted him. His wide eyes met me. "I have no time to talk to you. You too. Go to your duty now-" "Fuck that duty! I don't care! Just please talk to me!" I close my eyes emphatically. The passing students turned their attention to us. I removed his hand from my elbow. "You're gone," I said calmly. "No. I won't leave here unless you talk to me." He said every word emphatically. "Jared, hey! I have class in five minutes! You can't expect me to talk to you now!" His jaw tightened then he averted his gaze. "Then go. I'll wait for you here until you get tired and you decide to tell me your damn problem." My blood is boiling. He was exhausting my patience. He didn't know that it was also for him that I was doing avoidance now. "Then fine! Wait here until you get bored!" I said then finally left him to enter the classroom. When I went inside I had all the critical eyes of my blocmates. I didn't look at them when I went to my seat next to Brent's chair. Brent sneezed as I sat down. "Is this because of Aldrin?" I did not answer. Brent looked outside. "I pity Papa Jared." "It's not what you think," Umiling-iling siya. "I can't fucking understand what's happening 'coz you won't speak up and fuck again' coz I know it's not my problem but I'm fucking problematic here. Where is the easy go lucky Thalia to her admirers before ? Gosh. I'll age immediately if I continue involving myself on your issues with boys. " He drank water. I winced. I badly wanna tell him my damn problem now but I know Jared should be the one to know first before anyone else. I simply looked around the exit. Jared was still there. I felt annoyed with myself. Because of me why he is not on his duty now. The stubbornness of the head! I can't just ignore how I feel just to calm him down. It's better that we have problems together then. Jared really just hung out all day. He did not leave there. Literally. Her admirers brought her a chair and electric fan. I was observing if he would simply hit them especially since the beauty of those who approached him was unusual but they only got a cold deal from him. Therefore, I did not leave the room all day. I don't want us to meet again. It's good and he's really just outside. Even without a prof or me alone in the room he did not enter me. He sends me food but I don't move. I was able to go through the fire exit just to get out and eat. I'm embarrassed to see Brent. My heart was squeezing as I watched him just lying outside. It's like I just want to forget my thoughts. It's like he's just a little supportive, I'll give it to him again. "Thalia, pay attention to Jared. He's poor." "Yeah, Thalia. He's serious about you, girl!" That's what I hear all day from my classmates. I wish I had just been absent. "Mare, I'll go first. I'll take care of something else, eh. Bye!" Brent kissed my cheek then sprinted towards the door. I was just shaken. He was always taking care of something. He doesn't tell me what. After a while, I left the classroom. My heart pounded so hard when I got out of the classroom. Jared was startled in front of me. "I'll carry your things," He prayed to take my things from me. I avoid the ones I carry in his hand. His lips parted. "I can manage." I said coldly. He sighed. "Okay. I'll deliver you." "I have a pickup." I started to walk away but he was able to follow behind me. Damn it. It was an hour before Daph's class ended. This means that Mang Edgar will pick us up later. I can't wait for her today. Jared is here. I'm sure he won't stop me. So, I texted our driver to come over now. But damn, our house is 30 minutes away plus the frigging traffic. Stupid. I should've just called a cab. "I know you'll pick it up later. I'll take you, Thal." "I'm going somewhere else." I'm sorry. "Go home. Or chase after your duty–" "What the fuck, Thalia ?!" I was surprised by his sudden raising of his voice. She messed up her hair. "I'm trying my best to understand where you're coming from that you suddenly became cold but I just cannot–" "Then don't!" I confronted him. His lips parted. "No one told you to understand me. It's not even included the rules. It's not your duty to try to understand me, we are only instructed to date, Jared." He clenched his jaw. "Your thoughts are my business. Everything about you is my business. So can you at least tell me the reason why you became like this? Even if it's just a reason, Thal. It's like I know what I'm going to do." My heart aches. I still don't really want to tell him my problem. I am ashamed to be cowardly. We looked at the car that suddenly parked in front of us. The car window went down and I was shocked when Aldrin turned out to be your driver. "Are you still there?" Aldrin asked. "H-Huh?" "Let's go?" He opened the door for me from inside of his car. Jared held me by my wrist firmly. "Thal …" His miserable look made my heart ache again for the nth time. "Let go, Jared. We still have a walk," I excused. I know Aldrin's just helping me out. I removed his hand from my wrist and quickly stepped inside Aldrin's car, thankful that someone came to rescue me. Aldrin drove the car and each time it moved away from Jared my heart grew heavier and heavier. I couldn't take it anymore and I looked back at Jared I had left behind. The pain and anger is very obvious in his eyes. Maybe he thinks now that Aldrin is the reason why I'm cold to him. But it's not. It's Jared. Alone.