Chapter 28: Liam
Yesterday, I thought my heart had broken after hearing Isabelle's story. Her retelling of her life taught me so much, but I couldn't help but feel there was more to her story. I hoped that one day she would trust me enough to share everything with me. However, this morning when I saw her in just a towel, I had to gather all my strength to resist the urge to move closer to her. As I stood by the window, trying to regain control of my thoughts, I couldn't help but imagine how she could wrap those gorgeous thighs around my head instead of squeezing them together. I feel like I will get a taste of heaven if I ever get so lucky to have a taste of her.
But in an instant, all those thoughts disappeared when she fell to her knees and begged me not to send her away, tears streaming down her face. In that moment, I was speechless and heartbroken. How many times in her life had she begged for someone to treat her as a human being? It was a painful realization that shook me to my core. Isabelle's story had opened my eyes to the harsh reality of her life, and I knew that from this day on, I would give anything to be the one to show her the love and respect she deserved.
I full heartedly meant it when I told her that if I have it my way, I would never send her away. I still don’t think she understands what that means. But I hope that soon I’ll have a plan in place very soon that I can share with her to show her I mean it. I don’t want to say anything more until I have something to show her. Another thing this morning showed me is that if I do anything without something to show before that she will instantly think of what is wrong not what is right. I can’t even blame the reaction she had on being irrational, because if what I’ve seen firsthand and what she has told me is only a portion of what her life was like then I know for a fact that her reaction is a hundred percent rational.
I realized that I would need to change some things, reframe my mind a bit. I don’t want to change anything about Isabelle, but I feel like she doesn’t even know who she really is. I want to help her find herself, but in order to do that I need to show her she can believe in me; she can trust me, and I wouldn’t hurt her. That’s where the reframing comes into play. I could never have imagined that doing something anyone would have seen as nothing, would have been so big for her. Some how not bringing in a cart with food equated to being put in a cell. I need to find a way to learn how her mind words and figure how to show her the truth when she has been made to believe a lie. Oh, and maybe tell her about changes before just assuming its not a big deal.
“Tonight, I invited my brother and his wife to have dinner with us.” I tell her and watch her reaction carefully. I took her to the library after breakfast. Its one of the warmest rooms in the house, everything from the temperature to the inviting warm colors the room holds, down to the over stuff chairs she seems to enjoy just invites you in. She was looking at all the books, she seemed comfortable.
“I umm I don’t have anything to wear.” She sounds nervous, at first I’m not sure why she would be.
“You don’t need anything fancy just a small dinner with family. You can wear what you are now.” I wave my hand towards her leggings and t shirt. They were still a bit big on her. I need to have someone get her some stuff that fits. Maybe that will make her more comfortable. I look at her and see the anxiety rising by the second. I don’t want her to be upset.
“What’s wrong?” She looks up at me. Then at herself. Then back to me. I am struggling to understand what’s going on here and it doesn’t seem like she is going to throw me a bone. After some more silence, my brain hooks on something. I don’t know if I’m right, but I need to find out.
“Are you worried about making an impression or something?” I ask her as I step closer and she keeps her head down. I lift her face so I can look her in the eyes. That’s where I see it, the void and it clicks. She was only let out to be an arm piece for Alessandro, I let her out today and now I’m telling her about dinner.
“You know who Declan is. I saw your reaction when he came outside that day. But what you don’t know is that he didn’t mean to hurt you. He wants to apologize to you; his wife was the waitress.” She swallows. “You do not need to do anything but sit with us eat and have fun. No expectations, no requirements. And if you really don’t want to join us, you don’t have to. Nothing will happen.”
Some of the clouds clear from her eyes as she looks at me, I like that I can ease her mind. I really want to kiss her right now, but I know I need her to come to me. She lets me give her chaise kisses on her head, but that’s not what I want right now.
“Can we uhm” She shakes her head. “Never mind.” She was going to ask for something, and I want to know what it was.
“What is it? You can tell me.” I give her a smile of encouragement. She looks at me gathering her courage.
“Movie night?”
“You want to watch a movie after dinner?” She nods. I am so happy she asked for something small but it’s a start.
“I think that is a wonderful idea, it’s been a while since we used the theater room.” She gives me a smile and my heart melts.
In life it’s the small thing we take for granted. But it’s the small things along with the big things she never got. That above all else needs to change.