45
45
Betty.
‘I made my decision.’ I told myself as I walked towards the car. Time seemed to slow down and in that moment it felt like my world could only contain Ethan and Michael.
The rain had ceased just hours ago, leaving the air damp, musty, just like the guilt that clung to me like a second skin.
I was tempted to turn back to Michael. I can still feel his pleading eyes piercing my soul, haunting me as he begged me to help him solve the case and clear his name.
He had reached out to me so desperately and yet the best thing I could do was walk away, no, go home with a man who had once tried to kill him.
Just the thought made the betrayal sting hard.
But I had my own reasons; God knows I did. Choosing him openly would only confirm suspicions, especially with Adam watching my every move. And with our history, the banter in the classroom, and the unsaid tension hanging in the air, the last thing I needed was to give people more reason to form opinions about us.
Besides, I couldn’t risk exposing our secrets, the kiss we shared in the bookstore. One leak could spark a scandal and that scandal wouldn’t just break me professionally, it would shatter me emotionally too.
So I chose Ethan. Not because I’d forgiven his abusive tendencies or because my heart belonged to him, that was far from it.
I chose him because he was the safest option. He was the face I wanted the public to see, I couldn’t risk anyone thinking they had the slightest clue of what goes down in my life because the truth is, they don’t. They don’t know how hard my heart beats for Michael, how I get nervous and shiver whenever he’s near, they would never know, and it's best I keep it that way.
When I slipped into the passenger seat, Ethan gave me an endearing smile. As if I’d just made the best decision of my life, but I wasn’t in the mood, in fact I was already regretting getting into this car.
“Just drive me home, please,” I muttered, avoiding his gaze, my voice laced with guilt.
He didn’t protest; he just gave a curt nod. Out of the corner of my eyes. I could see the smile fading off his face. He started the engine and just like that, the tires carried us away from the college grounds.
No one said a word for the entire ride, only the music from the stereo filled the silence. A blues tune I used to sing to when I was fifteen, something I’d already told him about.
How thoughtful of him to remember! It was such a romantic gesture that almost made me blush ... Still, I wasn’t convinced.
By the time we pulled up to my apartment, the silence had already eaten me deep into my bones. I badly needed to speak my mind, to tell him not to start having ideas that we were back together, I’d only agreed to follow him to avoid drama.
I pushed the door open and the hissing sound of my air wick welcomed me, its scent wafting into my nostrils.
Also, Kitty greeted me with a soft meow but retreated snarling when she saw Ethan step in behind me. But I crouched, scooping her up, pulling her so close to me, she was the only comfort life gave me.
“Hey, Kitty! I missed you so much, but guess what? Momma’s home now,” I purred, kissing the top of her head, then I sat her down, filled her bowl, and asked, half to her and half to myself, “Did you miss me, Kitty?”
Ethan sat on a wooden stool watching us with a smile of admiration on his face. “You know,” he began softly. “I think I’m beginning to love cats. And that’s because of you.”
I fake a fleeting smile that didn’t reach my eyes. “Don’t flatter me.”
We both grinned and for a moment silence descended in the room, again. But I decided to break it. “Why did you have to show up at my workplace unannounced?”
“Pardon?” He asked, squinting his eyes.
“Don’t act dumb Ethan, I was in the middle of something important, do you have any idea how hard you made things for me?”
His smile faded almost like it never came. “Betty… I just… I just needed to see your face, I missed…”
“Oh please,” I cut him off, my tone rising, “I was in the middle of something, I’d appreciate it if you called before coming next time.”
His gaze is fixated on the ground now his shoulders slouched. “I’m sorry!” He apologized but I still wasn’t satisfied.
“I said I’d think about us, but that doesn’t mean you should show up at my workplace unannounced!”
“Why are you even pissed?” He asked looking up at me, I could tell he was getting upset. “ What's the deal with Michael? He’s always hovering around you, like a fly stuck to a mango.”
I rolled my eyes, “He is my student!”
“Exactly!” He shrieked, his eyes flashing. “He is always there, staring at you like he owns you, Betty he is just your student, he shouldn’t have that right over you.”
I stiffened, crossing my arms on my chest. “Mind your business, he’s my student and with all due respect, whatever I do with my life is absolutely none of your business.”
“I don’t understand…” his voice faltered, they were laced with confusion, hurt, and anger, I could sense it. “Is there really something going on between you two? Is that why you ended things with me?”
I didn’t say a word, maybe because I didn’t know what to say. Maybe he was right, maybe I ended things because I care about Michael too much more than I want to admit.
He stood, closing the distance between us. “So it wasn’t just about saving your job, was it? You have feelings for your own student.”
“That’s absurd!” I spat, thought my hands betrayed me, they were trembling nervously as I struggled to put water from a jug into a cup, almost spilling it on the table. I avoided his gaze like the plague. “We aren’t even dating, we were just… messing around, that’s all, so don’t come here and act like you’re my husband!l
Ethan burst into an angry laugh then his voice softened. “Well I want to be your husband, Betty, I love you.”
I looked at him, this time I noticed his perfectly permed blonde hair, he looked so hot in his black t-shirt and joggers, and his hazel eyes shimmered with affection like he was genuine. He was everything a Woman should crave for, tall, attentive, stable, and smoking hot.
But all I could think about was Michael. His emerald eyes. His lazy gaze pierced my soul and questioned my morals.
It was at that point that I made up my mind.
“Ethan…” I whispered, looking him in the eye. “ I think you should leave.”
“What?”
“You heard me right.”
“So what about my proposal?”
“No!”
That was a full sentence.
He gazed at me with disbelief.
“So you chose your student over me? What are you? Milf?”
“Stop!” I yelled, I was done letting him walk over me. “ You need to pack up your shit and leave this instant!”
He clenched his jaw and all of a sudden he punched the wall behind me. The sound cracked through the air and I nearly forgot to breathe for a minute. I stared back at the crack in the wall.
“What have you done?” I asked, covering my mouth with my hand.
He froze like he didn’t believe he did that too.
“I’m sorry…”
“Leave, now. Or I’ll call the cops on you!”
He looked out the window, it was raining cats and dogs now but I didn’t care. “It’s raining heavily, Betty. We can resolve this. You and I….”
“Are you slow?” my voice resounded across the room. Even though my heart raced I stood my ground. “ I said leave!”
At first, he didn't move, he just looked at me like he expected me to have a change of mind then he nodded. “Fine, I’m sorry.” With that he stormed out of the house, the door slamming behind him.
I sank to the couch and Kitty came over to me like she could sense my discomfort. I pressed my face into her fur.
Indeed things happen for a reason. If he didn’t beat up Michael I wouldn’t know he was a monster underneath that gentle man costume. Now I knew I could never be with him, without feeling guilt.
I grabbed my phone and deleted the damn dating app, and whispered to myself. ‘ I need to choose myself. Not Michael. Not Ethan. At least for now.”
Kitty meowed as if in agreement.
And then my doorbell rang. Of course, it was Ethan, he didn’t want to give up.
I marched to the door ready to shower him with insults. I threw it open ready to unleash every ounce of anger left in me, but to my surprise, it wasn’t Ethan.
It was Michael, standing there on my doorstep drenched from the rain.
“Hey, Professor!”