Chapter 73 On her knees
LISA
"What are you doing, Red?"
I heard Axel's voice and my heart stopped in my throat because his phone was still in my hands as I contemplated my decision to read the text or not.
Fuck! I cursed in my head because I knew I'd fucked up big time by snooping around on his phone when he literally just expressed his unwavering trust for me. My racing thoughts on how to remedy the situation did no good in calming my erratically beating heart.
My hands were sweaty as I panicked with my mind going through thoughts of what Axel would do if he found out that I was on the verge of betraying him. I couldn't blink from the fear that he would figure out what I'd been doing in his absence.
I realized just how fucking dumb i'd been at that moment and I was genuinely scared that he would hate me all over again if he figured out what I'd been seriously contemplating.
He'd definitely lose his shit and be extremely furious if he caught a whiff of the fact that I was trying to read the details of Prince's text to him especially after telling me it was dangerous and that's
why he kept me out of the loop.
How on earth was I going to get myself out of this situation? As much as my insides were shrewd with fear I tried to maintain a neutral expression, to not give myself away easily, that's the best I could do to mask my panic and anxiety at the moment and I deeply hoped that it worked.
All the while I'd been giving in my thoughts instead of answering the question he asked and he just stood in the doorway staring at me while I held his phone. But now, he'd suddenly begun to walk toward me and I thought that my mind would explode with every step he took toward me.
I wished I could turn back time before he got any closer to me or better still, the fucking ground could open and swallow me that very minute.
Of the two options, I would surprisingly prefer the latter. After all, I couldn't live with the thought of Axel hating me or not being mine because I'd almost made a foolish decision due to the pressure my family had mounted on me to sabotage his family's incoming shipment.
I had no idea what to do but guilt kept eating me inside out because I'd even entertained the thought of hacking his phone and infringing on his privacy. I was so ashamed of myself and I had no idea what I'd say to make things better if he eventually figured everything out.
It seemed like he was walking in slow motion because time seemed to drag on aimlessly as he walked toward me and my heart pounded heavily as he inched closer to me.
Seventy-Three: On Her Knees.
almost blank which steadied me slightly and gave me the feeling that he didn't suspect me or anything horrible.
To ease the tension that hung in the room like a thick veil, I decided to tease him instead of letting the silence that lingered drive me crazy.
"Sucker, your wallpaper is a picture of me, and my face is up close against the screen in a way that anyone would recognize me. Aren't you scared a member of your family would see it and freak the fuck out?" I asked him teasingly as I adjusted nervously where I sat on the bed.
I watched him put his phone away without sparing it a glance or making a big deal out of the fact that I'd been holding it suspiciously and I let out a sigh of relief quietly that I didn't know I'd been
holding.
"Personally, I don't give a fuck. But, the only people that dare to touch my phone are you and Prince and as my best friend, he's known about you from the start." He made himself comfortable beside
me on the bed and he replied lightly.
On my part, I couldn't say that the thought of Prince knowing about me didn't make me feel extremely important to him. It was delicate information that we were dating despite the millions of reasons why we shouldn't be, so him sharing it with his best friend meant that I held a high level of importance in his life as he did in mine as well.
"Well, I had no idea mafia men could actually use their girlfriend's pictures as their wallpaper. Aren't you just a little lovesick puppy?" I teased him further especially since he'd appeared unaffected by
my first shot at teasing him.
"I sure as hell don't care, you know? And I'll only do what I like, it doesn't matter if other mafia men don't do it. Besides, Red, you make me do all of the things I never thought I'd do because I'm in love with you" he'd somehow managed to turn my teasing feat into an affectionate conversation and I blushed lightly at the fact that he'd do anything when it came to me.
"You know you make me feel things I would've sworn were impossible for me of all people to feel until I met you. So yeah, you also make me do things I never thought I was capable of doing until I became yours" He held my gaze as every word left my lips and I held his too to show him how certain I was of everything I'd just said.
"Come here?" he opened his arms invitingly and I nodded sheepishly after the invitation was thrown my way right before I threw myself into his arms in no time, after all, it was one of my favorite
places to be recently. Time seemed to go by in a flash after our banter and soon enough I needed to get back to the hostel to prepare for the classes I was meant to have the next day. Parting ways with Axel was always a bittersweet experience for me, mostly because it saddened me to be away from him but missing him for a bit made the next time I saw him more exciting which automatically made up for the times I'd been away from him.
Today was not any different, as we stood outside my hostel to bid our goodbyes he engulfed me in a big hug and I relaxed happily in his embrace. We finally separated from each other's arms and he dropped a gentle kiss on both my cheeks before bidding me farewell. As usual, he stood in the driveway and watched me get into the hostel building until I was out of sight before he finally drove off. The rest of the day went by in a breeze as I spent it chatting away with Tana and giving her juicy "deets" on the time I'd spent with Axel and as you'd expect she teased me non-stop even though I knew deep down that she was sincerely happy about how far I and Axel had come despite everything that conspired earlier.
The next day, I was meant to meet up with Angel in a serene driveway a few minutes away from campus and I knew that nothing could prepare me for the day I would have with her. The topic of discussion was definitely bound to dwell on their earlier request for me to betray Axel so that they could hijack the shipment his family had been expecting.
Besides, I'd set up this meeting with Angel to call off the whole plan they'd wanted me to go through with. More than anything, I was sure that I couldn't betray Axel because of how fear-stricken I'd been when he almost caught me snooping around on his phone the day before. The feat of losing him at that moment felt too real and it threatened my entire existence because I was sure I wouldn't
be able to live with myself after betraying him so I really needed to end the entire charade by speaking to Angel.
I walked towards the black Jeep Wrangler Rubicon X parked in the driveway which looked luxurious and badass enough to belong to Angel. I found her leaning against the back of the Jeep with an almost burnt-out cigarette in her hands and her dark shades sitting perfectly on the top of her sleeked-back lustrous black hair. Immediately she noticed my presence, she dropped the cigarette butt she was puffing on the floor and killed the burn with her knee-high black leather boots before she nodded my way. From experience, I knew that she wanted me to get straight to business and not beat around the bush since I'd requested her presence for an important reason.
My words got caught in my throat for a quick minute because I knew that she'd have the upper hand in this situation since I was here to beg her to call off the plan to use me as a pawn to hijack the Ivanovs's shipment.
As I felt her stare burn into the top of my head, I took a deep breath sharply and prepared to plead my case before her.
"Angel, I can't do it," I said without context but we both understood what I was driving at.
"Why on earth did you think you had a say in this matter, much less an option?" she stared at me with disdain as she stood her ground.
"Angel I just said I can't -"
"I'd rather not hear a word of that. The only way you can redeem yourself after laying with the enemy under your nose is by pulling this off. Don't you get that? You're a smart girl so why do I have to spell out everything for you huh?" she folded her arms against her chest as though I was testing her patience the more I spoke.
My pride dwindled and my ego equally fought with my sense of reasoning at this point because for the first time ever, I knew that my last possible course of action would be to beg Angel to change
her mind and I was going fucking crazy knowing that there was no other card left for me to play.
I'd never begged her before so I knew it would be tough and her reaction might not be favorable but I was willing to give it a shot anyways.
"Please Angel, I'm begging you right now and you know I never do. Please help me out just this once, I know Dad and Jeff will listen to you since the mere sight of me pisses them off right now" my
voice shook as I spoke just to be met with her expressionless face despite my sincere pleas.
"Look, I'm sure that our families can be united if Axel and I are allowed to be together, we can put an end to this crazy rivalry and work together for once, but I'd really need your help to pull that off" I
kept begging even while the tiny trembles in my voice betrayed me as I spoke.
"How the mighty hath fallen" she taunted me with a brutal smile crossing her lips instead of acknowledging my pleas.
"Is the dick that good? Just because you've gotten dicked down by an enemy you've lost your mind? I mean I knew you were down bad when you didn't adhere to my first warning..." She stared right
at me in disbelief as though I'd disgusted her.
".....but I never thought the day would come where I'd see Lisa Volkov beg for anything in her life- and then the first time it happens, you're begging because of a man? What the fuck!?" She continued and I knew that from her distasteful tone, she had no intentions of helping me to avoid betraying the man I loved.
However, after swallowing my pride to ask for help despite the turmoil it took in the first place, hearing the way she'd spoken to my hurt and I could hardly form any sentences to retort or counter what
she'd said to me.
"Stop fucking embarrassing yourself, get your shit together quickly, and get to work because you have less than two weeks to bring some good news about the shipment back to the family. Love is an
ugly color on you, girl" she adjusted her sunglasses so that they now sat on the bridge of her nose, and walked to the side of the car to get into the back seat.
I hated that she could speak to me so disrespectfully and I was helpless because I needed her help, not like she offered me any after everything. I watched the car drive off and because of how ashamed I felt, I hoped the driver she brought along didn't hear our conversation, I'd much rather take this entire horrible experience to my grave.
At least, she was right about one thing despite all the rubbish she'd spewed.
I needed to get my shit together.