Chapter 40 Wanna Fuck
LISA
It was a done deal..
Sergios Fernandos was dead.
His throat slit from ear to ear after I've grounded him for more than an hour after I've worked his body to a state to perfect arousal. He had thought he was going to get the sex of a lifetime, that he
was going to have the best sex ever but what he was going to get was to die.
And he did get it.
The look in his eyes the minute I told him who I was, the pain and panic and realization, the deep seethed pain in his eyes the minute the razor tore through his skin, the scream that died in his throat
because he couldn't get it out because he died on impact.
At least, he didn't suffer. I couldn't bear to make him suffer. He died on impact and if there was something like second lives, he'd learn to cross with the wrong people.
I stepped out of the bathroom. Tana wasn't around so I was the only one in the room. My whole body was cold and I wanted nothing more than to sleep and forget everything that happened in the
past 24 hours but I knew that wasn't possible. It was going to plunge both my dreams and reality.
I lay on my bed, face up, with my hand on my lower abdomen. It was late already, almost 9 pm and I felt sleepy but I knew I didn't dare close my eyes, closing my eyes to sleep would mean invoking the
images I'd been trying to get out of my mind, it'd mean getting into an endless loop of nightmares full of blood and dead bodies.
But I was so sleepy, so so sleepy, and... my eyes dropped close and my line of thoughts trailed off immediately.
Then I was in a dark room and something wet was trickling down my whole body. I assumed it was water and I raised my hand to rub my face only to realize that I was thicker and sticky. A bright
light shone on my face at that moment, making me realize it was blood, I was covered in a pool of blood.
I screamed and flew out of the bed.
I was hyperventilating and struggling to get clean air as I scrambled off the bed. I took deep, calming breaths to calm myself down but it was futile, completely futile, and useless. I've always known
that I wouldn't be able to sleep for the next 48 hours or so and if I should even close my eyes, my sleep would be one nightmare after the other.
I felt a movement from the corners of my eyes and my skin nearly tumbled off my body in shock but it was just a breeze blowing the curtain. I relaxed or tried to relax because I couldn't get my body to calm down. My heart kept pounding erratically against my rib cage and my whole body was boiling up as if I was about to come down with a chronic fever.
And every single movement, every little breeze against the curtain, every single creak of the doors and objects in the room was enough to heighten my anxiety and tether me to the edge of a panic
attack.
I shouldn't even be alone right now.
But there was nowhere I could even be right now. Tana was the only friend I had in school and she was at a party so going to where she was out of the equation but that still didn't deter me from
calling her.
She picked up at the second ring and was momentarily deafened by the insanely loud music that I had to remove the phone from my ears.
"Hello, Babe."
"Hey Roomie," she screamed back over the loud music, "the music is loud so I can't hear you but I'm not coming back to the hostel tonight, talk to you later."
My shoulders slumped, "oka..." but she already cut the call on me and I sighed as I stared at my phone's screen till it turned black.
I stood and started pacing the full length of the room, trying to see if I could get the sleep out of my eyes, at least if I wasn't sleeping, if I was building a program or working on a new security model, I'd
be free.
But I was too sleepy and my eyes felt like it was being pulled shut by a too-popular force that I couldn't resist. Eventually, I went to my only companions at nights like this, and I took four pills instead
of two.
I fell fast asleep immediately.
It was still a sleep plunged with never-ending nightmares with blood and ghosts of every single person I've killed coming to hurt me and drag me towards an abyss but instead of waking up after each
nightmare, I slept through them all and I woke up the next morning with a banging headache that made me want to yank my head away from my body.
I spent the whole day like a zombie.
I spent the whole of it in front of my laptop, making new codes, and raising the bars of our current codes. I'd have gone outside the hostel for fresh air and some human contact because Tana still
wasn't back but the banging headache I had wouldn't allow me to step out so I stayed indoors till there were telltale signs of dusk.
It'd soon be dusk and Tana wasn't back and there was no way I'd sleep alone tonight. I wasn't even going to attempt that, I couldn't put myself through dealing with the excruciating pain of seeing
blood and ghosts of people I killed in my dreams, I couldn't deal with seeing the pains and tears of their loved ones in my dreams.
I picked up my phone to call her to confirm if she was going to be home since I was a Sunday night only to see that she already sent text message that she wasn't going to be home because there
was another party and she had to be there.
I groaned before lying face up on my bed. I couldn't afford to be alone tonight, it was going to drive me crazy. Tana wasn't coming home and going home wasn't even an option, home would probably
drive me crazier than my nightmares would.
The only option, the last option but probably the most preferable option, one that was sure to rid me of all these thoughts was something I didn't even want to consider because I've never initiated it
and because it doesn't make any sense to hooking up with Axel.
Sex with him was the distraction I badly needed.
But I didn't...
I wouldn't...
I couldn't
I stared in horror at my screen. While I was still whining and thinking about it I couldn't or could now, my fingers had already developed a mind of their own and typed the message and even sent it to
him.
My heart jumped to my throat and I immediately started to delete the message only for my whole body to still when I saw three dashes.
He was typing. He was freaking typing which means he had already seen the message.
Oh God!
Of course, why not? Wouldn't miss an opportunity to fuck you mindless and have you begging for more.
My eyes rolled to the back of my skull as a small chuckle escaped from my lips.
Like I've always said, you think too highly of yourself. Don't think I ever notice how crazy it drives you too?
He started typing almost immediately.
Never denied that. I don't mind torturing myself as long as it's to punish you.
I chuckled again.
I guess there's no denying the fact that you are a sadist.
That's only because you bring out the worst in me, Red.
I guess I should cancel then, since I'm such a bad influence and all.
No way in hell! I've missed hearing your screams and pleas, they're fucking addictive. I'm around your hostel, should I pick you up?
I stared for a moment longer at the message. It felt personal, his offer to come and pick me up. The whole situation even felt bizarre because I realized, to my greatest dismay that I was feeling
considerably better and lighter than I felt before I sent him a message.
I heaved a sigh before I finally typed a reply to him.
Cool I'll be outside in 10 minutes