Chapter 35 Here goes nothing
AXEL
There were thousands of perks to moments of insanity.
Sleeping with Lisa once was one of them.
Sleeping with her again was another perk.
Wanting to sleep with her, again and again, was the greatest perk.
I thought fucking her once was going to rid me of my irrational obsession with her but I was so wrong, so so wrong, I wanted her more than ever.
I wanted her every night and I wanted to fuck her in all holes. God! I was so fucking obsessed with her. I've always prided myself on being a very rational person but when it comes to Lisa, all my
rationale would fly out of the window and I'd be left with only one insatiable need.
To bury myself deep inside her.
To make her scream and beg.
To have her shatter beneath me.
Fuck! I was so fucking hard again for the fucking 10th time today and it was barely evening.
Geez. What has Lisa done to me?
"Are you even listening at all?" my stepbrother, Roman's voice cut through my reverie and his stiff, bored voice deflated my boner.
Yeah, Roman could do that to me by just breathing.
"Did you say anything?" I asked, matching his bored tone as I took another sip of my tonic.
"Of course," he looked like the veins on his head were going to burst from anger, "I've been saying something since we got here but you keep zoning the fuck out! If you can't handle your job, then let
someone else will do it."
I smirked, dropping the glass cup on the table separating us before leaning against the backrest of the basket chair.
"You're almost 22 now, Roman, grow the fuck up and stop acting like you're in some high school hierarchy competition."
Fury flashed across his face and his lips trembled so much from reigning his anger in. His palms clenched into tight fists and I chuckled loudly.
To his face.
"I'm not going to give you the satisfaction of stooping low to your level by getting into an argument."
"Obviously," I replied in a curt and dismissive voice, "what do you have to say?" I rarely come home except there was something important for me to do. I was busy with school, busy with keeping the mafia going. Old age was setting in for dad and he wasn't the don he used to be which meant more responsibility was on my shoulders now. Roman was close to useless because all he knows how to do was party, fuck girls, throw orgy parties and get high but now that it was certain that dad would have to appoint an official Don soon, he was trying his hardest to become a better made man, to step fully into the business and get a hang of it. I knew he wasn't doing it because he actually cares about the family or the mafia, he just wanted the status quo of being the don.
"I heard of the huge shipment coming into the country in like two months," he started and my eyes narrowed. The huge shipment was big, bigger than anything I've ever handled, bigger than anything
Dad has never handled it. I've been having headaches dealing with the logistics and all and the last thing I needed right now was to have a conversation with Roman about it.
"Yeah," I sounded as casual as possible, "what about it?"
"I want to handle it."
He replied ever so casually that a slight chuckle escaped from my lips.
"Are you joking?"
"I'm not laughing, am I?"
"Well, I'm not sure about that," I dismissed him, "I don't understand what made you think about asking me to allow you to handle it but it's not possible."
"I'm not asking you," he gritted out, "I'm telling you."
"Okay, if you don't need my permission, handle it then, I don't see the point of this conversation."
"For fuck's sake, Axel, grow the fuck up and start acting like the fucking Capo that you're supposed to be. You know there's no way I'd be able to handle it if you don't pass it down to me."
"Really?" I sounded amused.
"Axel!"
"Knock it off, Roman, we both know it's not possible, this is the biggest shipment that'd ever come into the country and you want me to hand over the acquisition to you? Don't be ridiculous. We both know you can't pull it off, this is not some orgy party you're so good at throwing."
His fists clenched and unclenched and I could figuratively see the fury stamped on his face. I knew he was just a second away from throwing a punch at me but he could only try because he was
going
to miss.
"You're the only ridiculous one here," he finally started talking again, "I've handled acquisitions and I've pulled them off. We both know that the only reason why you don't want to relinquish your hold of this task is that you need the points."
I chuckled again, "come on, I don't need any fucking points and we both need it, you're the one who needs to up your stats so dad would at least consider you for some position."
"Dad doesn't need to consider me for any position that's rightfully mine, little brother. I'm the legitimate son and you're nothing but a whore's mistake that dad decides to raise."
I felt nothing.
Absolutely nothing except an insane desire to fuck Roman up badly so he'd live in a fucking wheelchair for the rest of his life but I was a rational person and I knew there were certain consequences
I didn't want to face it.
I stood to my feet.
"Since you're the legitimate son and all, handle it then. Why should you be asking a whore's child to
hand an acquisition down to you? Isn't that ridiculous?"
I saw him snarl before I turned on my back and started to walk away because if I should spend a minute more with Roman, I'd sure do something that I'd regret terribly.
"I heard the Volkov's are very much interested in this shipment too. You can't beat them alone, at least let me in on it if you don't want me to take the sole responsibility."
I didn't stop walking, "if you're so desperate to make yourself useful, I could get the guys to pass some work over to you."
I opened the door of the room and I stepped out.
Fuck! Being in the same room with Roman was always too overbearing for me. He was a fucking sadistic asshole who has never, not even for once stop reminding me that I was born by one dad's
many summers and he only decided to raise me as some sort of pity party.
It used to bother me when we were kids. I didn't want to be an illegitimate son but I was one even before I was born and there was only one thing that I could do to make myself worthy in dad's eyes; work my ass off and become a valuable and indispensable asset to the mafia and that was what I did.
I worked my ass off, trained, and punched bags till my hands and whole body were sore and at 14, I devised an attack plan that got rid of our greatest enemies, The Russians and it became no fucking question who dad's favorite was. Roman had always been a fool who thought everything was going to be handed down to him on a platter of gold just because he was a legitimate son but I was glad for his foolishness because it only allowed me to grow without competition.
"Son, you're home." Dad's voice halted my steps just when I was about to open the main door and step out.
I turned around to see him standing in the patio, drink in hand and looking out through the top to floor window.
"Yes dad," I started making my way towards him, "I came to pick something, I'm actually on my way back."
"Ohhh," he took a sip of his drink and said nothing more so we were in some sort of comfortable silence as I stood by him and I sneaked glances at him. He was getting old now, his skin getting frail
and looking nothing like the agile, formidable and dangerous man he used to be.
As a child, I had been very scared of him, he never smiled, he never talked unless necessary, he was always dressed in black and there were always loud animalistic screams whenever he go to the
basement with his men.
And then one day, curiosity got the better of me and I dared to venture to the basement and my life never remained the same since that night.
But the man beside me didn't look anything like the man I remember sitting in front of a tied up bloodied man and hammering nails into his fingers, he looked like someone who old age has caught up
with.
"How's your health? Did the doctor say anything? Should you still be drinking?"
He chuckled as he took another sip of his drink, "I'm going to die in a few years son, I should enjoy what's left of it."
"You can live longer if you decide to listen to your doctors for once."
"Not that tone with me son, I've lived old enough."
"You're barely even 65, dad."
"Enough talk about health and dying, how far with the acquisition?"
"We should receive it in 2 months, every other thing is done."
"Good! I trust you, I have no regret dying now because the business is in good hands."
"Good grief, dad, you're not going to die."
"We're all going to die eventually and enough talk about that, well done on taking care of the Russians once again."
He patted my back briefly before he returned to looking at the garden and knowing my dad knew him, I know that was the end of the conversation.
A couple of minutes later, I was driving back to my apartment but with one nagging thought in my head. I've subconsciously come to that conclusion since the last time I was with Lisa.
Seeing her at the party with another guy and rubbing his thighs and even fucking going into a room
with him had pissed me off to the fucking core and while I wanted to ignore her because I had no claim on her and our sex was just a one-time thing, I couldn't ignore the fact that only one thing was
going to happen in that room.
And it was that the guy would have in ways I didn't want any other guy to have so I marched in after them, met only the guy in the room, and came up with a lie about being her boyfriend. He wanted to
fight me but of course, I dragged and threw him out and shut the door in his face.
And smacking and fucking Lisa again under the shower had confirmed what I didn't want to admit, I wanted her for as long as possible.
It was irrational, completely irrational given who we were but the only rational thing to do to rid me of craving her every single time was to be irrational.
If I didn't do it, I was bound to lose my mind.
So I searched for her contact on my car's screen and I dialed her number.
Here goes nothing.