Chapter 110 Reuniting with Axel
Lisa's POV
My disappearing act was the most unplanned and spontaneous decision I'd ever made in my life and now I'd realized that it was a poorly thought-out decision, one that only caused the people I loved more pain than the relief I'd expected it to bring them.
As much as it literally blew my mind that I'd finally gotten married to the man I wouldn't have dared to dream of while I was growing up, I couldn't stop myself from feeling like a burden and a magnet of unfortunate events for him.
It was bothersome that I could easily trace every misfortune that had befallen him back to myself, it was as though I was a catalyst for his misery over and over. It felt as though trouble trailed dangerously close behind me and affected everyone in my life, most especially Axel.
I'd broken his heart and betrayed him, stolen a shipment that he'd worked tirelessly to procure, and made being a hostage a mentally challenging chore for him, and now I'd been oblivious to the fact that I was being used as a pawn to destroy his family again.
Our wedding day which we'd looked forward to like naive teenagers with a head rush had been used as a mere camouflage to launch an attack on the Ivanovs, that truly made me feel like a fucking fool- especially because it was pulled off by the man I'd thought was my father my entire life.
Personally, I was certain that I'd gushed over our wedding day more than Axel and I'd daydreamed countless times about how utterly perfect it would be. I was convinced that it would be the most beautiful day I'd ever witnessed and the memory of it would easily be one of my favorites for a long time, but that was the farthest thing from the truth after how the day had played out.
The first half of the day was nothing short of a fairytale, especially when Axel had read his vows and made me ruin my eyeliner after I'd been moved to tears, and my entire world finally felt like all was right with it- but my joy was short-lived when my father began a shoot out and ruined everything.
I still couldn't believe that he'd managed to turn my most anticipated day into my worst nightmare, he was the reason I ended up leaving the church with a bloody wedding dress, and the perfect wedding gown that I'd hoped to pass on to my daughter someday was completely ruined.
On a day that should've been a turning point in my life, the man I'd always known as my father confessed heartlessly to the fact that I was a bastard and he never truly loved me. He'd just trained me as a tool that would serve all his missions that required a seductress, and all the times I'd wondered why he was verbally abusive finally fell into place and it infuriated me.
As if what he'd revealed wasn't horrible enough, he'd shown me that his hatred and spite for me truly had no bounds by threatening to shoot me if I didn't let him kill Axel and following through with his threat by shooting me with no remorse shortly after I'd refused to oblige.
After he'd shot me, I had no memory of what had gone down until I woke up to find a nurse refilling my drips. I immediately begged her to help me find my husband, Mr. Ivanov, I was scared that he might've still gotten hurt after my father shot me, and she quickly checked my vitals before doing just that.
When I saw Axel's beaten-down look and how tired he'd looked I felt guilty for having worn him out again, it was like I drained the living daylight out of him with my endless problems. His clothes looked unruly and he had huge dark circles to serve as proof that he'd barely gotten any rest in days.
Yet, the first thing he did when he reached my side was to promise that he'd never leave me. I felt horrible that he always had to look out for me while he ignored his own needs. He deserved to be happy and at peace instead of having a constant target on his back because he was in love with me.
As he gushed over me and showed me raw unfiltered affection by never taking his hands off mine, my heart sank because all I could think of was the fact that I didn't deserve his love when all I'd brought him was misfortune since we'd met.
That very moment I'd decided that I needed to leave him be, he deserved so much more than the chaos I brought constantly and I needed to get my shit together and if possible bury my head in my coding career so that Axel could finally get a breath of fresh air and know true peace.
But the more I thought of being away from him, the heavier the burden on my heart weighed me down. Despite the difficulty I battled concerning leaving him, I believed in protecting Axel so I went through with it anyways.
would be the best way to
I knew that my only open window to leave would be when Axel left for his meeting, so I made my move the second he stepped out of my recovery room. Leaving Axel and the life I'd always known behind was unbelievably hard and all the energy I needed to put into staying hidden was equally as difficult.
Staying hidden was a fucking full-time job because Axel had turned the entire city upside down with men who were on the lookout for me. I could never leave the house without a proper disguise and tried to stay indoors as much as possible to avoid raising any suspicions that people in the surrounding could pick up on.
Earlier on I'd planned to leave the country in a few days after my disappearance but Axel had managed to put out missing notices in every private or publicly owned sector of the city which meant that if I booked a flight or appeared at the airport he'd be alerted in mere minutes of my location.
After I'd realized that leaving the country was a no-go area until the search teams Axel had deployed around every corner of the city had died down, I decided to settle down in one of my family's old abandoned houses on the outskirts of the city.
Luckily, we kept a spare key with a neighbor and I could easily verify my identity as a Volkov to retrieve the keys from her. To keep my identity safely hidden, only the kind widow that gave me the key knew who I was, and she was too busy on her farms to engage in meaningless gossip that would have uncovered my identity.
To every other person I'd met in the local market or my bear surroundings, I was a random tourist they'd never met. With that seclusion and peace, I was able to hide away in the family house for most of the last six months until I ran into Prince at the local market barely a week ago.
Our conversation on that day had been a huge eye-opener for me and I'd always have Prince to thank for pulling me out of a toxic cycle of self-sabotage that I'd been entangled in because I didn't believe I was deserving of love.
But before then I'd almost bolted when I locked eyes with Prince in the utensil aisle of the market staring at me as though if he blinked I'd disappeared, I still remembered exactly how it had all played out.
"Stop, Lisa. I just need to speak with you, it'll only take a minute" He'd called out to me kindly immediately I spun around to run off.
"You can't tell Axel you saw me here, you'll ruin everything that-"
He cut me off as soon as he caught up with me, "He's miserable, how could I not tell him that you're at least alive and doing well?!"
He sounded like I'd struck a nerve but hearing that Axel was miserable because of my absence fucking stung-I'd hoped that he would've refocused his energy on work instead of sulking because I'd disappeared, but apparently I was a fool to think he'd move on so easily.
"Look, I never meant to hurt Axel. But after how much drama and danger I'd put him in, I felt like he deserved some peace and a life less chaotic than the one we had together." I tried to explain but Prince looked perplexed as though what I said was gibberish to him.
"I left because I'd caused him more pain than I'd shown him love and I felt guilty and undeserving of his love despite all that" I explained further but his puzzled expression didn't soften, like he knew something that I didn't.
"You have no idea how much Axel really loves you, do you? He's always never been able to stay away from you no matter what caused your drift, why on earth did you think he'd walk away then?" Prince spoke slowly as though he needed every single word that left his lips to be permanently imprinted in my memory, and to an extent, it shook the very foundation of what had caused me to leave. "He'll never forgive himself for leaving you behind and going to the meeting before you disappeared, he's been lagging behind on everything and focused all his time and resources on searching for you.
The more he spoke, the more I realized that all of the chaos Axel and I had endured was what had made our long as deeply rooted as it was. I realized that no matter the danger I'd been in, knowing that I'd get through it with Axel was enough to pull me through, I also realized that the day I'd woken up from my surgery he was the first person I desperately wanted to lay eyes on.
After hearing a confirmation of his love from his closest friend, I realized that every single thing Axel had done for me were things that I'd naturally do in his place because of how much I loved him and I'd expect him to accept my expressions of love without questioning if I was burnt out.
But hypocritically, I had questioned how burnt out he appeared and drawn a conclusion that his love for me had proven detrimental when in reality I'd have been more scared and roughened up if he'd been shot but I wouldn't have minded happily sticking by his side through his recovery, and that was probably all Axel had wanted to do for me before I'd abandoned him.
"God, I'm so fucking dumb. I was just so overwhelmed after the wedding and everything that had happened earlier that I thought I'd made the best decision for us both, I couldn't have been more wrong" I sniffed as tears threatened to pour from my eyes.
"It's all good now Lisa, I've found you now and I'll help you find your way back to Axel, I promise." He rubbed my back softly to calm me and I couldn't help but marvel at how calm, thoughtful, and supportive he seemed.
Just then, I remembered that he was indeed my brother-in-law since he'd gotten married to Tricia. I thought of how lucky she was to have been placed in an arranged marriage with someone as level- headed and caring as Prince, I was grateful that she was in good hands while I disappeared.
"I'm so grateful that my younger sister got married to you, she's so lucky to have scored a kind man such as yourself" I voiced my thoughts of gratitude but his mood seemed to have turned sour at the mention of Tricia.
Minutes went by and he didn't reply, he seemed like something was off and he was still contemplating if he should share the information with me. I didn't care for the suspense so I decided to speed up the process by directly asking him about their marriage.
"Is everything alright with you both? What's going on with Tricia?" his eyes darted awkwardly away from me and I waited for his response impatiently.
"Hmm, she's not at her best and the last few months have been tough on her. She's having a hard time navigating through the fact that she'd witnessed her father's death and two months later she was dragged to the altar with me when I just happened to be the one that shot her father."
His hands ran through his hair anxiously and my heart truly broke for Tricia, as I heard how hard it'd been for her I realized that my disappearance had been a selfish choice to an extent. I couldn't bear to see my sister as a shell of her usual bubbly self and I was scared that she might've lost her positive edge.
My heart broke that I wasn't there to help her navigate through her feelings and know that she wasn't alone, I should have been there to prove to her that I'd always be her family no matter what. But I knew more than anyone else that regret wouldn't fix these mistakes I'd made so I simply needed to be there for the people I loved instead of staying hidden to allegedly protect them.
"I know just how lonely she must feel and I should've been there for her." I squeezed his arm apologetically and he gave me a kind knowing smile.
"Okay, I'll return to Axel. How do I get to him alone with little to no distractions and without being detected by his millions of search teams?" I asked and his face lit up quickly, I'd raised his spirits-
score.
"I've got the perfect plan. Axel is secretly preparing to go on your honeymoon trip to Japan to search for you, I'm handling the travel details so I'll book you a seat next to his and securely get you to the airport unnoticed." He rambled excitedly and I smiled at the prospect of reuniting with Axel.
After that heartfelt meeting with Prince, I decided to own my shit and show up for the people who loved me but most especially for the man who'd comb the universe a million times over just to find
me.
And now, my reward for going through with Prince's plan was the look of utter shock on Axel's face when I'd lowered my magazine from my face to look at him. He looked like he'd just seen a ghost and I couldn't help the smile that covered my face at his surprise.
The way he'd stared at me confirmed that his love for me hadn't waned in the littlest bit even though he'd not seen me in six months.
My heart literally leaped for joy in my ribcage when he finally returned my smile.