Chapter 100 Why I had to say NO
Axel's POV
It felt like my foolish heart was doing splits at the thought of marrying Lisa, while my brain was ironing out a million reasons why it would make sense- the spearheading reason was the fact that she'd betrayed me less than a month ago and made me feel immeasurable pain as a result.
That didn't stop my heart from doing summersaults at the fact that I didn't have to lift a finger this time around, and somehow we'd gotten the blessings I would've given anything to get from both of our families. The offer felt surreal to me, I could hardly believe my ears when my father said it, and even now I doubted I'd heard right.
I had to stop myself from asking my father to repeat himself, mostly because he hated having to do that so I just had to believe that I'd heard him right. I'm certain that anyone that came across me at any moment would've been able to see the grave shock that had overtaken my features.
However, before I could lose myself by reveling in the mere thought of being married to her, my brain brought logic to the surface and shut my fantasy down abruptly. I remembered just how much she'd hurt me with her betrayal and how much I'd struggled to mask my emotions while I kept her hostage.
There was no way I could possibly get married to her when the wounds from her betrayal hadn't healed. I finally understood why people said that love was not enough to keep people together, trust was an integral part of a marriage and she'd managed to fuck up everything on that front singlehandedly.
People hated loveless marriages but on my end, I'd hate one without a foundation of trust just as much. I knew I had to decline Volkov's offer after I thought about her betrayal, one which he
encouraged. The fact that he'd been eager to use his daughter's relationship as a way to infiltrate our mission meant that he'd not hesitate to use our marriage as a tool for his dubious plans as well. That was a good enough reason to refuse the proposal as well.
I wasn't certain of whatever Volkov had up his sleeve by proposing a marriage to end our feud, but I was sure that he was up to no good. So, as much as the idea of marrying Lisa was somewhat
thrilling, I couldn't let the Volkovs manipulate me or take advantage of my family again.
I cleared my throat, "No, Dad. I'll have to turn down that proposal, I can't marry Lisa"
"You still have some time to think it through, don't just shut it out completely" My Father replied calmly, as though he was sure I'd change my mind along the line.
Well, he was wrong and I'd give him crystal clear reasons why.
"Are we forgetting how we got into this mess in the first place? It's because he used his daughter to manipulate me, just to sabotage one of our largest shipments" I explained to try and make him see
reason.
"She betrayed me, Dad. Betrayal isn't something that's taken lightly in our line of work, I'll never trust her again- why on earth would I possibly be comfortable marrying someone I don't trust" I asked him as my head spun from having to recount Lisa's betrayal to my father. "Would you approve of our marriage despite everything that has happened?" I asked again before he had a chance to answer my last question.
"Yes, Axel. I'd give you both my blessings without a second thought, let's leave the past in the past, It'll all work out." My father said in a relaxed tone which proved to me that he'd already made up his mind and he was fully on board with the marriage proposal from Volkov.
"I truly can't believe that you're in support of this marriage, what suddenly changed after one meeting with Lisa's father?" I was certain that my genuine shock at his approval seeped through the tone
of my words as I questioned his decision.
"You can't only see this from an emotional standpoint, I taught you better" He began in a stern voice.
"This marriage is no doubt the best possible solution to ending our enmity," He continued after he was sure that his last words had sunk in.
"We can finally put an end to the bloodshed as well, we've lost so many good men and this is a golden opportunity to end that. I'd do anything to provide my men with security, being in the mafia is already dangerous enough." I rubbed my forehead in frustration after he finished speaking.
While his line of reasoning seemed solid and worth being his reason for giving his approval, it still didn't sit right with me. Just as I was about to be wrapped up in my web of thoughts all over again,
he continued speaking. "Don't dwell aimlessly on Lisa's betrayal son, that's a huge part of what makes up a mafia- rivalry, and betrayal. Besides, by keeping her hostage and making her father surrender the shipment, you've
taught them a valuable lesson and that's more than enough" He sighed as though he knew his words were falling on deaf ears, I still didn't feel convinced to jump into a marriage with Lisa.
"But, Dad-"
He cut me off, "Axel, Listen. The minute you both walk down the aisle and get her pregnant, the deal is sealed because we'd officially have a child that shares Ivanov and Volkov's blood."
My heart stopped momentarily as he mentioned having a child with Lisa, it'd be so fucking perfect- our child would officially mean I'd built a family with the woman that made my heart beat
uncontrollably.
To make things much worse, my mind conjured up a stunning mental image of how beautiful it would be to have a small family with Lisa. I imagined getting our first home together, watching how she'd glow while carrying our child, and how we'd raise our children with so much love.
Fuck, what could possibly beat that? Nothing. I thought of waking up next to her every morning and going to sleep with her every night, that would be the best part of it all-knowing that she was truly
and finally all mine and I could be with her always.
Despite how surreal and beautiful it would be to build a family with Lisa, the fact that I didn't trust her returned to haunt me. I knew that none of it would matter if I was questioning her every move and
I didn't feel safe enough to share important news with her, that would ruin us both and fuck everything up eventually.
With that in mind, I knew that I couldn't possibly accept the proposal, no matter what. "Dad, I still can't marry her. There has to be another way around calling a truce, not an arranged marriage" I maintained my refusal despite everything he'd said earlier in a bid to convince me.
"Axel, answer me truthfully. Do you still love her despite everything that happened? The betrayal and the aftermath that has led us here" He asked in a low, soft tone that I almost didn't recognize in his
voice.
"Yes, I still love her. But I can't marry someone that I don't trust just because I still have feelings for her, I'm sure they'll pass." I lied, I knew that whatever I felt for Lisa would never pass, instead, it would most likely get stronger and harder to fight off.
"Trust is meant to be built, even after it's been broken. At least you love her, everything else can come later, believe me." He cajoled me further with his words but I was hell-bent on standing firm on
the decision I'd made.
"No, I'd rather not rebuild the trust that was broken in such a way as that. Also, I might love her but after what she did I'm not certain that she ever loved me back" I hit him with counterarguments and the line went silent for a few minutes.
Then, came my father's deep and thoughtful sigh that broke the silence. I was certain that he'd cooked up another reason that was meant to convince me to marry Lisa and he was likely about to
share it with me.
"This isn't just about you, it's about our family and all our men that I've been looking up to us for a solution to the bloodshed and rivalry. You know family comes first, Axel" He was being manipulative at this point, I wasn't against the truce but I was against being married to Lisa being the only way.
"You taught me to keep my business and love life separate, marrying her would make both clash and I wouldn't want that. I'll find another way instead." I wouldn't let him play the family card this time
around.
I continued before he could reply, "Please excuse me I have to round up here since the mission has been concluded" I politely excused myself from the conversation before it got me angry and hung
up immediately after I'd spoken.
I took a deep breath as the call ended to clear my head, I truly can't believe the day I'd had. One moment, I was angry at Lisa, the next I was fucking her and now I'm supposed to get married to her? Was I in a parallel universe or something? It felt like I was the only one not taking her betrayal lightly.
When I finally turned around after I'd tucked my phone in my pocket, I was met with Lisa's slightly flushed face where she was leaning against the edge of the staircase. What truly caught my eye was the afterglow from sex she had all over her, I remembered how her afterglow was usually a reason for me to fuck her all over again because of how fucking gorgeous she looked.
Her skin had a unique shine to it and her lips glistened slightly, she also looked pretty refreshed from the sleep she'd gotten. But despite her beauty how much bear beauty had swayed me and my
damp mood, I masked it and stared at her with disinterest.
There was no point asking if she'd overheard my conversation with my dad, she seemed to be a pro at eavesdropping recently and I was in no mood to get into a pointless argument about it with her. I
walked toward her but I'd intended to simply ignore her and go into my room instead of acknowledging her presence.
"Do our families want us to get married?" She asked just before I walked past her and I halted my steps immediately after she'd spoken.
"Don't get ahead of yourself, I can assure you that It'll never happen" I stared right at her coldly as the words left my lips, and I saw shock flash across her far quickly before she masked it.
"Axel, you-" she began to protest but I cut her off immediately, I couldn't care less about her opinion on the matter at hand.
"Go and get ready, we're leaving here tonight," I informed her in a formal tone and took brisk steps to get me away from her quickly.
As I walked away, part of me dreaded being apart from her soon but I shrugged it off with a renewed vengeance.