Chapter 51
Emily's POV:
"I... mmmm...Edd..."
I never really thought that something in me could be triggered to such an extent that I could lose my vocal and conceptual abilities for a moment.
And yet, I couldn't adore more being meek and limp in someone's arms when that said person is touching you like you were born to be worshipped. I knew it was part of some dangerous game we started months ago, following it diligently while still protecting our friendship but the way it was all going right now, I was sure I couldn't see him just as a friend anymore.
Hell, I never saw him as a one before!
But still, I always tried doing it for the sake of our long year alliance and chivalry. Allowing love to come between us was something I tossed into dustbin a long time ago, always picking it up again when emotional but in the end, deciding to let it go for once and all.
My feelings were my own. Nobody gets the right to speak for it. So why should I let my heart come in between our comfortable silence and beautiful moments when I am content with everything and anything he had to offer or take it from me?!
But the question was, for how long?
For how long I was gonna hold myself in and watch him smiling, laughing and sharing everything with someone else when I always dreamed of having a nice future and family with him.
But we can't get everything nowadays, can we?
Then why was I suddenly getting everything so quickly when I never even thought of getting even a piece of it in this cruel reality? My mind was afraid of such a development, screaming at me to back out before it's too late but my heart...
Well, the heart wants what it wants!
And so when Edward kissed my cheek, pulling me closer before kissing my nose and eyes gently, I couldn't hold it any longer and wrapped my arms around his neck firmly, pulling him closer only to get squished against him sensually.
His hands reached my head once more, fingers digging into my brown curls gently, running them along my locks. He leaned an inch closer to my face, his mouth slightly parted, hot breath mixed with cinnamon racing my senses. My own swollen lips parted, my heart going insane with our proximity. Opening his lips, he leaned a bit further when I turned my head abruptly, looking at the other side.
From the corner of my eyes, I saw him frown, his expression forming to a rare form of disappointment before his eyes turned into a shade of determination and he put his hands on my cheeks, gently turning me around to face him.
"What's the problem, Emi? Are you feeling uncomfortable with me?" his eyes held usual concern, his fingers grazing my chin and he slid his other hand trailing down my back to my hand, intertwining our fingers.
What's that supposed to mean?
Why does he keep on showing this unusual affection to me? Is he really pretending or…
"No. It's not that… I'm just… I'm... just kinda nervous. I don't know how to kiss… " I opened my mouth to speak some more, unable to find words to complete, "I never kissed… anyone... before!"
That was the truth! I was afraid I might end up messing everything up, biting him or hell, tackling him down or kick him if he goes further than that!
But does that really matter now, Emily! You already did more than that! Even more than your relationship with him would ever allow!
"You mean to say you never had your first kiss before?!" His face showed complete shock of surprise and amusement.
I glared at him to remind him of the exact reason and logical explanation for that fact. If he ever allowed me to hang out with any guy, maybe I would also have boasted of my skills to him!
But I knew that I never would have kissed anyone when my heart would always continue to want what it can never have. I could've told him smoothly and nonchalantly how he was my first kiss at our fake wedding and how much of a formality that kiss was for him.
I could mostly have told him that he didn't kiss all too good for a man but I didn't have any reason to say so cause he didn't have any reason to kiss me like his lover or anything!
"Well, I most certainly had my first kiss in most unexpected circumstances... in front of everyone!"
"Who was that person, might I enquire?!" The words that rolled out of his lips were covered with so much poison I almost felt like vomiting right at the spot but instead, I stared at him incessantly.
An understanding stare.
One which gave you all the answers whether you have asked the question or not.
The realization finally dawned on him some minutes later, his cheeks slight tinge of pink before he coughed low.
"You mean to say... I.. was.. your first kiss… at our wedding?!"