Chapter 141 Chapter 141
Chapter 141 Chapter 141
He said: the far end is where I go to see the full thing. The distance gives you the shape of what's happening on the ice. The floor is where you go to see the full shape of what's happening in the writing.
I said: the floor is my far end.
He said: yes.
I said: that's.
He said: what.
I said: going in the file.
He said: the you-data file.
I said: my file on you.
He said: the observation goes in the me-file.
I said: yes.
He said: which sub-category.
I said: I haven't sorted the sub-categories yet.
He said: you'll create the right one.
I said: yes.
He said: probably eleven through thirteen.
I said: I thought you had twelve.
He said: the file is organic. It develops.
I said: the you-data file is organic.
He said: yes.
I said: how many sub-categories now.
He said: thirteen.
I said: it grew.
He said: you're worth additional sub-categories.
I said: that's either very charming or very alarming.
He said: both things.
I said: yes. Both things.
He said: Dom's update is in sub-category four.
I said: what did Dom update.
He said: he added the competition corridor entry.
I said: the eight-fifteen corridor.
He said: and the regionals aftermath.
I said: Dom was documenting the regionals aftermath.
He said: Dom documents everything involving us. It's his own system.
I said: Dom has a parallel system.
He said: yes.
I said: does it have sub-categories.
He said: Dom's system is a voice note archive apparently.
I said: how many voice notes.
He said: I stopped counting at thirty.
I said: Dom has thirty voice notes about us.
He said: at minimum.
I said: Sofía knows about the voice notes.
He said: Sofía curates the voice notes.
I said: she curates Dom's archive.
He said: she said it was the most entertaining primary source material she'd encountered this year.
I said: more entertaining than a thirty-three-year international network.
He said: she said it was funnier.
I said: it is funnier.
He said: yes.
I said: the goose voice note.
He said: four minutes thirty seconds.
I said: context and background.
He said: yes.
I said: with callbacks.
He said: to the east lot geese.
I said: the foil.
He said: yes.
I said: Dom is extraordinary.
He said: Dom has always been extraordinary.
I said: the parallel archive.
He said: yes.
I said: I want to hear all thirty.
He said: I'll tell Dom.
I said: Dom will be insufferable about it.
He said: Dom is always insufferable when he's appreciated.
I said: he's been appreciated since the beginning.
He said: since the investigation.
I said: since before. He told me things about you before I knew what to do with them.
He said: what things.
I said: that you talked about my times like they personally offended you.
He said: they did.
I said: in October.
He said: yes.
I said: they offended you before you were patient.
He said: the offending was the beginning of the patience.
I said: the offending was the beginning.
He said: yes.
I said: insufferably competent.
He said: yes.
I said: crossed out.
He said: and uncrossed.
I said: and now.
He said: and now not the data point. Just the fact.
I said: just the fact.
He said: yes.
We stood at the boards
The Saturday morning was quiet.
The wanting clean.
The permission not required.
The ice mine and his and ours and everyone's who had needed the word for the thing that was theirs before anyone found it.
I said: the seventh line.
He said: it'll come.
I said: tonight.
He said: probably.
I said: the floor.
He said: yes.
I said: and then the piece is something.
He said: it's already something.
I said: and then it's finished.
He said: and then Before First goes somewhere.
I said: and then the dinner.
He said: and then the next thing.
I said: and then everything.
He said: yes.
He said: and the far end.
I said: always the far end.
He said: yes.
I said: from one.
He said: always from one.
I said: the beginning.
He said: yes.
I looked at the ice.The Saturday morning rink doing its honest thing, Surface unmarked. Waiting. The way it always waited without urgency, without contingency, without requiring permission from anyone to be what it was.
Just the ice. Mine before any of them.
I said: I'm going to skate one more lap.
He said: okay.
I said: just because I want to.
He said: I know.
I said: the wanting clean.
He said: yes.
I stepped back on.
One more lap.
Just that.
Just the wanting.
Just the ice.
Just mine.
Before any of it.
And at the far end he watched.
As he always had.
As he always would.
Counting from the first moment.
From the beginning.
From before.
And when I came off the ice the seventh line was already forming somewhere in the distance between the wanting and the saying and the writing and the being.
The way the truest things always formed.
Not when you looked for them. When you stopped. When you just skated. When you let the ice be the ice and yourself be yourself and the wanting be clean and the permission be nobody's to give.
The seventh line was coming.
I didn't have it yet. But I could feel it the way you felt the landing before you left the ice. Already certain. Already there. Already mine. Before I knew what it was.