Chapter 132 Chapter 132

Chapter 132 Chapter 132
He said: forty-seven cheek kisses. Eighty-eight Lutz landings. The number of times you do the pen thing per significant conversation. The number of minutes you spend on the floor before you're ready to talk about something hard.

He said: the specific way your left eyebrow moves when something lands correctly.

He said: the corner of your mouth.

I said: I've managed the corner of my mouth.

He said: you have not managed the corner of your mouth.

I said: I've been trying since October.

He said: I know. It's still there.

I said: that's.

He said: yes.

I said: the you-data category is invasive.

He said: it's thorough.

I said: it's the same thing.

He said: it's not the same thing. Invasive implies unwelcome. Thorough implies comprehensive care.

I said: and which is this.

He said: I've been at the far end since October. You know which it is.

I looked at him.

He looked back with open expression. The real smile. The unhurried certainty that had been there since the pool at six-fifteen and had never once required maintenance.

I said: Declan.

He said: yeah.

I said: the Phoenix goose.

He said: we're not going back to the goose.

I said: I need to know the full story.

He said: the full story involves a security guard.

I said: a security guard.

He said: who witnessed the incident.

I said: the security guard witnessed you being chased by a goose.

He said: and filed a report apparently.

I said: he filed a report.

He said: the practice rink has a wildlife incident protocol.

I said: a wildlife incident protocol.

He said: for geese specifically.

I said: specifically for geese.

He said: yes. They're a known issue.

I said: the practice rink in Phoenix has a goose protocol.

He said: yes.

I said: and you triggered it.

He said: apparently.

I said: and Lily witnessed all of this.

He said: she has photographs.

I stared at him.

He said: she said she was documenting the visit for her research file.

I said: she photographed you being chased by a goose for her research file.

He said: she's twelve and she's thorough.

I said: she's extraordinary.

He said: yes.

I said: I need to see the photographs.

He said: you absolutely do not need to see the photographs.

I said: Lily will show me.

He said: Lily has been waiting for the right moment to show you.

I said: when is the right moment?"

He said: she'll decide.

I said: she always decides.

He said: yes.

I said: Declan.

He said: yeah.

I said: the you-data category.

He said: yes.

I said: I have one too.

He said: I know.

I said: it started in October.

He said: insufferably competent.

I said: crossed out and then uncrossed.

He said: yes.

I said: and everything after.

He said: yes.

I said: it's a comprehensive file.

He said: I know.

I said: the specific way you still go when something matters.

He said: yes.

I said: the way you showed up at every significant doorway all semester.

He said: yes.

I said: forty minutes at the door.

He said: yes.

I said: coffee from October.

He said: always terrible.

I said: always there.

He said: yes.

I said: the cheek.

He said: forty-seven.

I said: and the proper ones.

He said: for significant moments.

I said: and the far end.

He said: always the far end.

I said: mine.

He said: always yours.

I said: from one.

He said: always from one.

I kissed him on the bench. In the rink.

At six-fifty-seven in the morning with unlaced skates and terrible coffee and a goose story and the other story and everything.

He said against my mouth: the rink.

I said: I stopped making statements about the rink approximately six days ago.

He said: I remember.

I said: the cheek was for everyday.

He said: this is everyday.

I said: yes.

He said: and this.

I said: and this.

He said: both things.

I said: always both things.

I pulled back.

I picked up my bag.

I said: the goose photographs.

He said: Zara.

I said: I'm going to ask Lily.

He said: I know you are.

I said: she's going to show me.

He said: I know.

I said: and then I'm going to find the security guard's report.

He said: the report is not public record.

I said: I'm a journalist.

He said: you're a figure skater.

I said: I'm both.

He said: that's not how records work.

I said: I'll find it.

He said: you will not find it.

I said: I absolutely will

He said: how.

I said: James.

He looked at me.

He said: James is a journalist.

I said: James finds everything.

He said: this is a goose incident report from a practice rink in Phoenix.

I said: James found a thirty-three year international network operating across fifteen countries.

He said: that's different.

I said: the methodology is the same.

He looked at the ceiling

I said: the report.

He said: there's no report.

I said: you said the security guard filed one.

He said: I may have exaggerated.

I said: may have.

He said: there was a form. A small form.

I said: a wildlife incident form.

He said: it was brief.

I said: but it exists.

He said: theoretically.

I said: James.

He said: please do not involve James in the goose incident.

I said: he's already in the group chat.

He said: the group chat is for the investigation.

I said: Sharp Edges covers all relevant topics.

He said: the goose is not a relevant topic.

I said: I'm the one who decides what's relevant.

He said: you are not the moderator of Sharp Edges.

I said: Sofía is the moderator of Sharp Edges.

He said: exactly.

I said: Sofía will find it extremely relevant.

He said: Sofía is going to be insufferable about the goose.

I said: yes.

He said: Lily is going to be insufferable about the goose.

I said: she already is. She's been saving it since August.

He said: Ryan is going to make it a whole thing.

I said: Ryan has been waiting to have leverage on you since the relay.

He said: this is exactly what I was afraid of.

I said: the goose.

He said: the group chat.

I said: both things.

He said: I regret telling you.

I said: you didn't tell me. Dom threatened you with it.

He said: Dom doesn't know the details.

I said: Dom knows you have a goose situation. That's enough.

He said: yes.

I said: Declan

He said: yes.

I said: the goose is yours.

He said: what.

I said: the incident. The parking lot. The security form. The Lily photographs. All of it. It's yours.

He said: I don't want it.

I said: you don't get to choose. Some things are yours before you know what yours means.

He looked at me.

I looked at him.

He said: that's.

I said: what.

He said: you just made a goose incident into a metaphor.

I said: I write essays. It's a condition.

He said: everything becomes a metaphor.

I said: yes.

He said: the goose is a metaphor.

I said: the goose is yours. Like the ice is mine.

He said: except I don't want the goose.

I said: you get it anyway.

He said: and you wanted the ice.

I said: yes.

He said: difference being.

I said: I knew the ice was mine. You're still coming to terms with the goose.

He said: I will never come to terms with the goose.

I said: you'll get there.

He said: I really won't.

I said: before the end of sophomore year.

He said: not possible.

I said: I'll make a note in the you-data file.

He said: please don't make a goose note.

I said: goose note. October through present.

He said: Zara.

I said: ongoing documentation.

He said: you're going to be insufferable about this.

I said: I learned from the best.

He looked at me. The expression. The real smile.

The specific warmth of a person who had been patient since October and was now on the other side of it and finding that the other side contained both the significant things and also a morning on a rink bench with terrible coffee and a goose.
Both things.

He said: the you-data file.

I said: yes.

He said: add one thing.

I said: what.

He said: this morning.

I said: the goose conversation.

He said: the first morning after.

He said: the first morning where it's just morning.

He said: no investigation. No commission. No crisis.

He said: just the rink. The coffee. The you.

I said: the you.

He said: you-data. This morning. The first ordinary extraordinary one.

I said: ordinary extraordinary.

He said: yes.

I said: that's what it is.

He said: yes.

I said: all the mornings after this.

He said: yes.

I said: ordinary extraordinary.

He said: every one.

I looked at the ice.

The morning light at the angle it only hit in winter almost spring. The surface holding itself. Waiting to be what came next.

I said: six-fifteen tomorrow.

He said: six-fifteen.

I said: the far end.

He said: mine.

I said: always.

He said: always.

I picked up my skates.

I went to the door.

I turned around.