Chapter 29 The Sad, Sad Story Of A Strange Little Boy
“Do you wish to go see her again?”
The Queen’s voice was as clear as the feeling rushing through Cassian’s heart. If he had one. He was never sure he did. Until her. Until he heard the stories about her. Until she became… real. And alive.
He turned to look at the woman who had birthed him— the woman that had stared at him with disdain from the moment she realized he was born as a male, and would forever be one no matter what choices she made. Looked at him like he was weak, and never gave him an opportunity to prove otherwise. “Will you let me?”
Eldoria looked away from the papers on the table in front of her.
Her appearance for that evening was slightly different. Her red hair fell in waves down over her face, and she had on a shirt and pants— as she always did when she was a spot of comfortability, and whatever strength she had shown when Maeve was here was gone now. She looked as she always did when it was just the two of them.
Softer. Weaker. Less powerful.
As if she knew there was nothing Cassian could ever do to hurt her. Many people around her, yes. They were constant assassinations when he was younger, but they had lessened when they realized none of it was working.
“Do you think you possess the ability to love?” There was a small smile on her face. Amused. Again. Ever so amused when he did the littlest things. Like he was something she didn’t think was worthy of respect, but an entertaining thing she had gotten as a stress reliever, “Really?”
Cassian turned fully so he could look at her, “I am not sure if… if this is love—”
The words never got to leave his lips before his mother— no, the Queen, pulled open one of the drawers in the desk where she sat, and placed three mana stones on the table. All of them bore the same colour. A violet shade that now resembled the veins violently pumping away on his neck. “Is it the same feeling as how you get when you see this?”
The hunger started like a vicious parasite flashing through his veins, like lightning spreading through every nerve. His hand flew to his neck as the hunger spread up to the base of his throat, the familiar iciness spreading through him as steam poured out of his lips.
Cassian’s eyes were fixed on the stones now.
Violet Everose, they were called. Or Purple dust, by those who moved it silently on the street.
Taken directly from one of the tunnels at the outskirts of Aeltherra. Tunnels no one really ventured into. The Queen had decided all of a sudden years ago to send people down there, finding out that crystalline collided stones had formed around the walls of each one.
Cassian could also remember the first time she took him down there.
He couldn’t have been more than six, and for a boy whose mother had decided she would ignore continuously, he had found out that he would follow her anywhere, even after she had told him she wouldn’t come back for him if he did.
When she took him down to the tunnels, the stones were all still volatile. Wild. He could smell it, feel his skin sizzling from it. He had held onto her coat, scared as the light from the entrance of the tunnel started to die away and soon enough, everything went dark.
When she stopped, he did so as well.
Somehow, deep down, Cassian had hoped she was going to raise him up in her arms because of how terrified he felt but instead, he felt a gust of wind sweep through the place and then all of a sudden, all of the stones lit up.
He was awed by all of it because of how beautiful it looked. As any normal child would. Then all of a sudden, she went down on her knees, her hands gripping onto both of his arms so tight he was sure she was going to rip it off as she said softly, “You will be staying here,”
His heart started racing, his breathing slowing down, “A-alone?”
“Yes.”
That was it. That was the answer she gave.
And she did leave him there. For years.
Cassian was not sure how long he stayed there. Sleeping. Waking. Crying. Screaming. Begging.
Then the hunger came.
It was not the same as when he needed food. No. He did not feel that kind of hunger since she left him behind. This one was different. Precise.
The stones sang to him, calling him to touch them. To feel them. He knew he wasn’t supposed to. He knew that, but it curled through his mind. It vibrated in his bones. In his blood. Telling him that he needed it. That he must.
He tasted each and everyone. Raw. Unfiltered. The stones cut into his mouth, blood filling his mouth. They burned, they hurt. And he would cry for hours on end. Again and again. Hoping his mother would return.
Eldoria did.
She said nothing as she returned him to the palace.
Cassian realized he was different. People… people were now too loud. Too erratic. Too.. much. And he couldn’t eat anything that he should be able to. And when the hunger became too much for him to contain, he would wake the next day with a gap of his memory.
He hated it. Hated how he did not know who he was, or understood he was. He didn’t even know for certain what he was anymore.
Eldoria returned, this time with the stones but in a softer, more refined form. Like fairy dust as she said quietly, “This is why you exist. If you stay by my side, I will make sure you never hunger again,”
So he couldn’t leave. No matter how many people he slept with, how many crimes he committed, or parties he had… she kept him by her side like a leash. Not like he could even go too far. Not when the hunger threatened to drive him mad.
But… but all of it stopped when he met her.
The itch. The constant ache beneath his skin. The static in his skull. The sharp, gnawing awareness of everything and everyone around him.
He… he could feel. And be. And feel… human.
But he knew, just like his mother did, that Isabella did not want him.
And thinking it hurt more than the hunger did.
“Pick,” Eldoria tilted her head as she let herself rest into her seat then crossed her legs and arms, an interested look coming to her face. “I can give you this, as a reward for sending her through the path that I wanted, or I let you see her right now, and you do not get these till she returns,”