Without You

"I must warn you; the gel is pretty cold at first,"

Lia nodded and moaned in discomfort as the doctor rubbed the gel on her belly. It had been two weeks since she had moved out of Fernando's house and in those two weeks, she hadn't seen Fernando at all.

She didn't know if she still had the right to call him after all he was her father. Their relationship was a forbidden one. Her mother also had been distant. She hadn't even reached out to check on her daughter and grandchild. Was it because she was mad about her daughter and her lover having something together? Lia didn't know.

Every day was harder than the previous one but she kept fighting and pushing. Thankfully, her friends were by her side.

Fernando was still staying at Adam's place. Well, she didn't know for sure since she hadn't been there since, but Adam had mentioned it and Lydia stylishly added it in conversation once in a while.

What good could come out of her seeing Fernando anyway? What good would it do? It wouldn't change their current situation, in fact, it would only make it worse. She was in love with Fernando, her father.

"Can we tell the child's sex now, doctor? Do you think we can?" Jane asked and Lia was forced to come back to the present. She rolled her eyes and glared at her best friend, placing her hands on the bed before she did something crazy like place them on her belly.

It was her favorite thing to do nowadays, an unconscious action she found herself doing even when she didn't want to. Her hands or at least a hand was always wrapped around her belly as if protecting her child.

"Isn't it a bit too early to tell the baby's sex?" Lia crossed her legs and uncrossed them, her nerves getting the best of her. Never in her life had she thought she would ever end up in this situation she was in; pregnant and alone.

She had always dreamt that one day she would find the kind of love her mother and Fernando shared and then she would have a family of her own one day. After a while, that dream seemed so far away, well up until Fernando forced her to marry him and even though she had lost all hope of that happening. Then things had changed between them and she felt it was okay to dream again. And she dreamt and everything was going so well, perhaps too well.

Why did her mother have to show up when she did? At least if she had stayed dead like they had thought, she and Fernando would still be happy and would be celebrating their child together. He would be here in this hospital with her for her very first ultrasound and he'd be holding her hand while whispering soothing words in her ears.

He would be the one fluffing the pillow for her-and not Jane-every night when her back tried to prevent her from sleeping. He would be the one reminding her to exercise, in fact, he would be the one taking her for the morning walks. He'd hold her hair when she went to puke because of morning sickness. He would be the one fussing over her for no reason at all.

Why did her mother have to come back when she did?

"Actually," the doctor said, pulling Lia out of her thoughts and she sighed, looking up. "it is too early to tell."

Lia stuck her tongue out at Jane who rolled her eyes. The doctor only laughed and smiled at their banter. No doubt, she had seen these things in her line of work over the years.

"We can however tell how many babies you will be having although it might not be accurate. I have had a situation where a woman was told she was having twins and she ended up with triplets after nine months."

Twins? Triplets? How was she supposed to take care of multiple babies all by herself? Fernando should be here, dammit, he was the father.

He is your father.

Lia shivered at that thought and her hand found its way to her belly without even realizing it.

"Don't do that, you are going to wipe off the gel." Jane fussed and Lia pulled her hands away as if her skin had burnt her.

"It's okay, I can always rub more." The doctor gave Lia a warm smile and squeezed her hands. "There's no need to be nervous, your baby is fine. I'm sure of it."

Lia took a deep breath and her body immediately relaxed. The doctor sent her another smile and then turned towards the machine.

"Alright, I need you to remember to breathe dear." She placed the transducer on Lia's belly and she took a deep breath. "It's okay. Just relax, it's painless."

Lia looked up at Jane who squeezed her hand and sent her a smile. "I'm here," she whispered and Lia blinked back tears. Of course, she wasn't alone. How could she say she was alone when Jane and Lydia were with her?

"There's your little baby. He/she is really little right now, think of a raspberry."

Lia laughed, tears gathering at her eyes. "It's beautiful." She eyed Jane who was already looking at her. For the first time since she knew her, her best friend was emotional.

"Would you like to hear your baby's heartbeat?" she asked and Lia eyed Jane who nodded, smiling through her tears.

Lia turned back to the doctor and nodded. "Yes, a million times yes." She felt Jane squeeze her hand and she looked at her.

"Thank you for talking me into coming with you. This is really magical, I have never experienced anything like this."

Lia opened her mouth to reply when she was interrupted by the most beautiful sound she had ever heard. She whipped her head back and stared at the screen, tears clouding her eyes.

"Your baby is so healthy, just hear that strong heartbeat." The doctor commented and Lia laughed through her tears, her heart feeling so full she thought it might burst.

"Thank you," she whispered repeatedly as tears rolled down her cheeks.

For the first time in two weeks, she was feeling incredible strong and on top of the world. Suddenly she felt like she could do anything. And she would, she had to. Her child wasn't to blame for the mistakes of its parents.

"Can we get a copy of that sound?" Jane asked and the doctor laughed. Lia blushed and then laughed as well.

"That won't be possible but you can get a copy of the picture of your baby."

Lia nodded her head. "Please, I'd like that."

***

"Hold on, I'm coming,"

Adam slipped on his slippers and rose up from the sofa, heading for the door. It was probably Lydia because she had promised to stop by and see how Fernando was holding up.

"Janet, what are you doing here?"

Janet sent him a smile and walked past him into the house before he could invite her in. with a sigh, Adam shut the door and ran after her. According to Lydia, Janet had not reached out to her daughter in the two weeks since she dropped the bomb on her.

Was she probably still upset with Lia for moving on with Fernando? Or was she just ashamed that her daughter and her daughter's father had made a baby?

Either way, the least she could do was check up on her daughter.

"Is Fernando here?" she asked, settling into the sofa he had been sitting in and he let out a frustrated sigh.

He eyed her and scoffed. "You want to see Fernando?" Was she being serious?

"I asked for him, didn't I?"

Adam narrowed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. "Have you gone to see your daughter?"

"I don't have a daughter anymore."

Adam felt like his eyes were about to drop out of its sockets. "You're kidding me, right?"

Janet ignored him and looked around the room instead. "Is Fernando here or not?"

"Why would you turn your back on your daughter right now? This is the moment she needs you."

Janet scoffed and glared at Adam. "She turned her back on me first. Why would she hook up with my fiancée on the same day I disappeared? Didn't she think to find me or that maybe something had happened to me?"

"Did you care to ask what happened? She had no choice! Fernando threatened her."

Jane shook her head and let out a dry laugh, rising to her feet. "It's not as if Fernando would have actually killed her, he was only bluffing from anger at my disappearance. Didn't she even feel the least bit of guilt after hearing I was dead? Why didn't she leave him then?"

Adam opened his mouth to reply her and closed it again. He shook his head after some time and sighed. "I'll go get Fernando."