Pretending It Was Him

Pretending It Was Him
Chapter 143

Kim’s POV 

We didn’t waste time before moving from the cafe to the bar. Adam and I kept throwing words at each other the whole way there, while Ruby and Penelope just kept gossiping. Even when we got there, they still kept gossiping. Though something told me it was about Adam and me. 

I was on my third glass of alcohol when they both left to God knows where. “What the hell are those two up to?” My eyes narrowed on them as I watched them exit the room. 

The bar wasn’t crowded tonight, so it was easy to keep tabs. 

"Well, they’re also here to have fun, so let them have fun,” Adam said, leaning back slightly in his seat. 

I hummed absentmindedly, though my attention barely stayed on him. Mostly because he was looking at me again. And he wasn’t doing it subtly either. 

The dim lights bouncing around the bar softened his features slightly, and suddenly making eye contact felt far more dangerous than it should’ve.

I reached for my glass again, mostly to give myself something to do.

“What?” I asked eventually, noticing the faint amusement on his face.

His lips twitched. “Nothing. It’s just that I had no idea that you get so nosy when you’re tipsy.”

A scoff left me. “I do not.”

“You do.” His gaze briefly dipped toward my mouth before returning to my eyes so quickly I almost thought I imagined it. “You also get a lot more bold with your stares. You know… stare longer.” He added after a few beats. 

Heat crept into my face instantly.

“I’m literally not staring at you right now.” I turned away from him, finding anything else to look at.

“That’s because you just got caught, darling,” he purred. 

I rolled my eyes, though a laugh escaped me anyway. For a second, neither of us said anything to each other. The music in the background suddenly felt louder. Closer. And somehow, at some point during the silence, Adam shifted nearer.

Not enough to be obvious though. Just enough for me to notice.

My breath caught slightly when his hand brushed mine against the table, heat pooling low in my stomach.

Accidentally? Probably. I wasn’t sure. 

But neither of us moved away.

My gaze slowly lifted back to his, only to find him already watching me again. And I suddenly felt the urge to say something. “I guess alcohol also makes you bolder with your stares.” 

His brows furrowed slightly, his gaze dipping to my lips again. “What are you talking about? I’ve always been bold with my stares.” 

“Hmm?” I feigned a frown, pretending to think about something. “Really? I don’t remember.”

"Well, I guess you’ll just have to be observant next time.” His hand moved to my jaw carefully, almost hesitantly, like he was waiting for me to stop him. 

And I wasn’t exactly sure I wanted to. 

He moved his fingers up my face, letting them slide into my hair as his gaze darted between mine. His throat then tightened before he whispered, "God, you’re beautiful. Sometimes, I can’t even wrap my head around how pretty you are.” 

I found myself swallowing too before parting my lips, feeling… I didn’t know… expectant? Did I want him to kiss me? 

“Thank you.” I breathed out quietly. “But just so you know, you don’t have to compliment me al—”

Whatever I was about to say faded away the second his lips touched mine. He ran his fingers through my hair as he practically melted into me. His tongue grazed my lips, seeking permission, and I didn’t even give it a thought before parting them. 

His body pressed against mine as he did everything he could to pull me closer, and I just… let him. I let him touch me. I let his hands roam my body. I let him kiss me. I thought it would be nice to try. Especially at this complicated time of my life. But I just kept… imagining it was Jett. 

In my head, he was the one kissing me. 

I kept pretending I was in his arms again and allowed myself to be around him, to speak to him, and to let him touch me. I moved my hands, sliding my fingers into his smooth hair, while the other guided his hand to my ass. 

God, I always loved it when Jett held my ass. 

A moan slipped out of his lips, and another when he bit on my lip, but they were all barely audible as the sound was swallowed by his lips against mine. 

Then suddenly, he pulled away, leaving me breathless as I gasped for air. And before I could even regain my composure, I felt his lips on my skin, his mouth moving down to my neck while his hand slid up to hold my waist, and a whimper slipped out. Louder this time, and I couldn’t help but cover my mouth as reality came crashing down on me. 

My eyes snapped open as I looked down to see Adam looking up at me with alarmed eyes. I immediately moved away from him, adjusting my clothes. 

“Kim…” 

I turned away, not wanting to listen to him. 

God, I didn’t even want to be around him right now. 

My chest heaved unevenly as I tried to steady my breathing. My lips still tingled from the kiss, and I shut my eyes right as images of Jett and me—so many good memories of our time together—filled my head. And before I could rethink it, I ran out of there, heading straight to the bathroom. 

I didn’t even remember if I muttered an excuse to Adam or not. To be honest, I didn’t even care at this point. Everything just felt so fucked up. 

I rushed into a cubicle, closing the door behind me and collapsing onto the floor. 

Why Kimberly? Why did you let Adam kiss you? 

Now you’re only reminded of how lonely you are now without Jett by your side. 

“Oh.” A sob wracked through me as I curled up on the floor, my breath coming out in uneven, broken pulls. And I curled tighter against myself, muffling the sound, as the cold of the bathroom floor seeped through my clothes. 

Each inhale felt heavier than the last. Like my chest was hurting from the inside.

I pressed a hand over my mouth, trying to silence the sounds slipping out, but it didn’t help. The ache only built, spreading through me in waves until it felt like my whole body was shaking with it.

“Jett…” I whispered hoarsely, even though there was no one there to hear me. 

The name slipped out again, weaker this time. Like it hurt to say it—it did actually. 

My fingers dug into my sleeves as another sob broke free, louder and harsher, leaving my throat raw. I hated how much it hurt. How the pain came back three times stronger whenever I tried to push it away. How everything suddenly felt like too much at once.

I stayed like that—curled up, trembling, letting it all spill out until there was nothing left but exhaustion pressing behind my eyes. And even then, the emptiness didn’t leave.

My phone suddenly buzzed against the floor, the sound making me flinch. 

I stared at it for a second before reaching out with shaky fingers and pulling it closer.

It was Ruby.

I hesitated.

Another buzz came. And then another.

Slowly, I wiped at my face, sniffing unevenly as I unlocked the screen. I didn’t even trust my voice when I answered.

“Hello?” it came out cracked.

“Kim?” Ruby’s voice was immediate, sharp with concern. “Where the hell are you? You just disappeared.”

I swallowed hard, glancing at the locked bathroom door like it might somehow give me an answer. I didn’t bother asking how she knew about my disappearance. Knowing who Ruby was, she was probably watching from somewhere with Penelope, and now she was going to use this to tease me for the rest of my life. 

“I… I’m here,” I managed quietly.

There was a pause on the other end before her voice came again, softer. “Are you… okay?”

And that was all it took for my throat to tighten again.

Because I wasn’t. But I didn’t think I had it in me to start pouring out everything. 

So I locked it up instead.

“Yeah,” I said as steadily as possible. “I’ll be out in a bit; I just wanted to use the bathroom real quick. You guys should give me a few minutes, okay? I’ll be out by then.” 

I didn’t even wait for her reply before ending the call. 

Quickly, I washed my face, fixing it the best I could before stepping out. And if Penelope or Ruby noticed any swollen eyes or puffy face, they didn’t say anything. They just asked me to go home with them. 

Adam, on the other hand, looked incredibly anxious and scared. He came up to me apologizing, obviously thinking it was something he did. 

I had to tell him it wasn’t him, just to relieve him of the guilt, but knowing him, I was pretty sure he didn’t believe me. Though that didn’t stop him from helping me to my house when I offered. 

He was really such a sweet guy. 

He didn’t deserve to even meet someone like me. 

He was only going to get his heart broken. 

Just like me.