Chapter 40 Chapter Forty
Vanessa POV
I woke up with a smile on my face,it was silly but there you had it.
I had overslept, I had dozens of things to do including the dissertation that was stuck on my desk and had been there for days.
But I still couldn't stop smiling.
Which was ridiculous considering everything that had happened last night but I couldn't help it. I was happy to have those memories of Danny's whispered confession before he left— I'm not going anywhere— I kept replaying those words in my head like my favorite song on repeat.
We were together, like we both wanted not fake dating or pretending, not navigating some complicated arrangement to keep his teammates at bay.
Just... us.
Danny and Vanessa.
I hoped to hell it was the real deal, I rolled over and grabbed my phone from the nightstand, already grinning at the text waiting for me.
Good morning, beautiful. Thinking about you.
My heart did a stupid little flip in my chest,God, when did I become this person? The kind who got butterflies from a simple text message?
Since Danny Glover had happened to me apparently. I was typing out a response when I heard sounds —a soft clanking sound coming from the kitchen, followed by what sounded suspiciously like a curse word.
Bean.
Reality crashed back over me like a bucket of ice water because while I'd been lying here giddy about my relationship status, my best friend was out there dealing with the fact that her boyfriend of two years had confessed his love for someone else.
For me.
The guilt hit me so hard I actually felt dizzy for a moment, I threw back my covers and padded out to the living room, still in the oversized t-shirt I'd slept in. The sight that greeted me made my chest ache.
Bean sat cross-legged on the couch in her pajamas, hair pulled into a messy bun.
Her eyes were red and swollen from crying, which she had probably been doing all night.
She was eating cereal straight from the box—no milk, no bowl, just shoving handfuls of Lucky Charms into her mouth while staring blankly at the TV, which wasn't even on.
"Hey," I said softly, not wanting to startle her.
Bean looked up, and smiled weakly at me. The attempt was so heartbreakingly fake it made me want to hunt Marco down and punch him in the gut myself.
"Morning," she said, her voice hoarse.
"Want some?" She held out the cereal box.
I sat down beside her, tucking my legs underneath me.
"Bean—"
"I know what you're going to say," she interrupted, still forcing that awful smile.
"That I should take the day off, stay in bed, have a good cry. But I'm fine. Really. I've got that presentation in Psychology today, and I can't miss—"
I wasn't sure where it came from
"We're skipping," I blurted out all of a sudden.
Bean blinked at me.
"What?"
"We're skipping class today. Both of us." I grabbed the cereal box from her hands and set it on the coffee table.
"We're going to get dressed, leave this apartment, and go do something fun. Something that has nothing to do with hockey players or birthday parties or any of the disaster that was last night."
"Nessa, I can't just skip—"
"Yes, you can," I insisted.
"Bean, you just found out your boyfriend of two years is a scumbag. You're allowed to take one day to fall apart. Or not fall apart. Whatever you need."
Bean's eyes filled with tears again, and she looked away quickly, swiping at her face.
"I don't want to fall apart. If I start, I'm afraid I won't be able to stop."
I pulled her into a hug, and she came willingly, burying her face into my shoulder.
as she struggled not to cry the way she had last night—but I could feel her shaking, feel the effort it was taking her to hold herself together.
"Where would we even go?" Bean asked, her voice muffled against my shirt and I paused a little bit confused.
I hadn't thought that far ahead yet.
"The amusement park," I said immediately as soon as the idea just popped into my head, but as soon as I said it, I knew it was perfect.
"Remember how we used to go freshman year? Before boys and all the complicated drama that came with them” I asked and she nodded
“We'd ride the roller coasters until we felt sick and eat way too much cotton candy. I definitely remember that” she murmured against my chest.
Bean pulled back, wiping at her eyes.
"That place is an hour away though. And it's a Tuesday. We have responsibilities—"
"Fuck responsibilities," I said, and Bean's eyes widened. I never cursed. Well, rarely.
"Just for today. Please? I need this too, Bean. I need a day with my best friend where we can pretend we're normal college girls without all this baggage."
That wasn't entirely true. I'd never felt less burdened in my life, not with the way Danny had looked at me last night.
I was happy and fine but Bean needed this, and I wasn't about to let her suffer alone.Bean studied my face for a long moment, and I could see her wavering.
“ I never would have thought that you would be skipping school” she drawled and I huffed
“ Neither would I”
"We'd have to be back by tonight. I have that thing with my parents—" she muttered and I nodded
"We'll be back," I promised.
If Bean was meeting her parents then it was all the more reason for her to go out now. If she thought her breakup with Marco was bad she'd find out that her parents would be worse.
It was a lesson Bean had to learn over and over again.
"Come on, Bean. When was the last time we did something spontaneous and fun? Just us?"
A small, genuine smile finally broke through on Bean's face.
"You know I'm going to make you ride the Drop Tower, right? The one you're terrified of?"
"If it'll get you out of this apartment, I'll ride it twice," I said, even though the thought made my stomach turn.
I hated heights.
Hated them with a passion that was probably irrational but very, very real.
"Deal." Bean stood up, and for the first time since I'd walked into the living room, there was a spark of something other than devastation in her eyes.
"But I'm picking the music for the drive there."
“ How is that a fair deal to me” I scowled and she grinned
"You always pick the music,anyway” I pointed out.
"Exactly. Don't mess with tradition." She headed toward her room, then paused and turned back.
"Thank you, Nessa. For... for everything. For last night, for this morning, for being exactly what I need even when I don't know what that is."
My throat tightened.
"That's what best friends do."
Bean disappeared into her room, and I heard the shower start running a moment later. I grabbed my phone and finally responded to Danny's text.
Morning. Something came up. Taking Bean out for the day to help her feel better. Can we talk tonight?
His response came almost immediately.
Of course. Take care of her. Take care of
you too. Love you.
I stared at those last two words for probably too long, warmth spreading through my chest. I wanted to tell him I loved him too, wanted to call him and hear his voice, wanted to do all the disgustingly couple-y things I'd spent three years swearing I'd never do.
But Bean needed me today. And I wasn't going to be the kind of friend—or girlfriend—who abandoned the people she loved when they needed her most.
Love you too, I typed back, then added, Talk later.
I shoved my phone in my pocket and went to get dressed, trying to ignore the guilt gnawing at my stomach.
Bean thought we were having a "single girls' retreat," a day to declare our independence from the men who'd hurt us.
And here I was, secretly texting my boyfriend—my boyfriend who I was absolutely, undeniably in love with.
I should tell her. I knew I should, Bean deserved to know the truth about me and Danny, especially after everything that had happened with Marco.
But not today. Today was about helping my best friend heal, about giving her one day where she didn't have to think about romance or heartbreak or the disaster her relationship had become.I could keep my happiness to myself for twenty-four hours.
Forty-five minutes later, we were on the road, Bean's indie playlist blasting through my car speakers as we headed toward Cedar Point Amusement Park. Bean had insisted on driving—
"You drive like my grandmother, Nessa, and today calls for speed"she had muttered as she grabbed the key from me and I'd let her, mostly because it seemed to make her happy.
She was singing along to some song about burning bridges and even though her voice cracked on the high notes, she looked more happy than she had this morning in that couch,even though I could see the sadness lurking in her eyes.
"Single girls' retreat!" Bean shouted over the music, pumping her fist in the air. "No boys, no drama, no bullshit!"
"No bullshit!" I echoed, trying to match her enthusiasm even as my phone buzzed in my pocket with another text from Danny.
I was a terrible person but I was going to be a good friend for as long as that would last.