Chapter 10 Chapter Ten
Vanessa POV
Benedicta Darlington did not forget.
I should have known better than to hope she would.
“ And you can meet my TA…” the lecturer, Mr Adams mumbled, grabbing his laptop.
The moment he had dismissed the class, the room erupted into movement—chairs scraping, bags zipping, conversations blooming all at once.
I barely had time to shove my notebook into my tote before Bean was on her feet, already waiting, her arms crossed.
She kept my eyes peeled as if she was worried that I would vanish into a mist if she so much as turned.
“Well?” Bean said grudgingly and I sighed.
I stood slowly, slinging my bag over my shoulder bracing for impact.
“Can we at least leave the room first?” I drawled shuffling into the aisle
Bean stepped aside to let other students pass but never took my eyes off me.
“You’ve got until the doors close.”
I ignored her and kept on walking,Bean followed and they walked out into the hallway, the noise following them like an echo.
Students streamed past, laughing, arguing, all of them were likely living less complicated lives than I was right now.
I envied them, they had no idea what they had going for them.
We walked to the dorm and the moment the doors swung shut behind them, Bean turned to face me looking like a mother about to scold her chicks.
It would have been amusing if I wasn't on the receiving end.
“Talk.” Benedicta drawled and I leaned back against the cool concrete wall and tipped my head up toward the ceiling.
I counted to three. Then five. Then ten.
This was harder than facing Danny. Harder than facing Dr. Han.
Harder even than pretending to like hockey.
Because Bean knew me–really knew me and she would sense something was off in my story as quickly.
“Okay,” I said finally.
“Yes. I’m… dating Danny.”
Bean squealed with joy
“ That is so awesome, my best friend is dating the king of hockey” she must have noticed I wasn't as pleased because she sobered and looked at me
“Dating dating?” she asked, her eyebrows shooting up.
“No,” I said quickly.
“Fake dating.”
Bean blinked.
“I’m sorry—what?”
I lifted a hand to stop her from rambling
“I knew you’d react like that.”
“Because it makes no sense,” Bean shot back.
“You hate hockey. You hate hockey players. I was surprised you were dating him but I could at least understand you liking him enough to try–” she mumbled
“ But now you're telling me you hate him.” I mumbled incredulously as if she couldn't believe I was saying this myself.
“I don’t hate him,” I said automatically.
Bean paused.
“That was fast.”
I winced.
“That’s not what I meant.”
Bean tilted her head, studying me like I was a puzzle missing a few critical pieces, which I was. A lot of pieces but that was besides the point.
“Start from the beginning.” Bean ordered dragging my further into the room.
I hesitated but then I followed her, talking about this shouldn't be a big deal. I had rehearsed this explanation in my head at least a dozen times, trimming away the parts that were unnecessary, or the parts that would raise questions I wasn’t ready to answer.
“It’s an arrangement,” I said carefully.
“A temporary one.” I added
“Temporary” Bean repeated dryly.
“Yes.”
“ And would you mind telling me how this temporary arrangement started” she asked and I smiled
“ Well it started when my professor assigned him as my helper for my dissertation” I mumbled and Benedicta gasped
“ No!”
“ Why the hell would she do that, everyone in the department knows you hate hockey” she mumbled and I shrugged
“ I guess she didn't get the memo. Anyway she did and I agreed so I don't lose my spot and to explain it to his teammates he told them we were dating.”
Bean’s eyes widened.
“He what?”
“It wasn’t malicious,” I rushed on.
“They were talking about me. He panicked. Said something stupid.”
This sounded like a very badly made up story now that I was hearing it out loud but it was better than the truth.
“And your solution was to… go along with it?” I shrugged weakly.
“It keeps them off my back. And it helps with my project.”
Bean stared at her.
“You’re sleeping with the enemy for academic credit.”
“I am not sleeping with anyone,” I snapped, a little too quickly. Bean’s gaze sharpened.
“I didn’t say that.”
I looked away.
Silence stretched between us, until finally Bean sighed and scrubbed a hand over my face.
“Why fake date him, Vanessa? Why not just shut it down?” I swallowed
“Because it’s easier.”
“Easier than what?”
“Easier than constantly defending myself. Easier than dealing with Marco and his friends.” I hissed furiously and Bean froze.
I stiffened almost immediately too.
Shit! That wasn't supposed to have left my mouth at all.
“Marco?” Benedicta said slowly.
“What does Marco have to do with this?”
I closed my eyes. I hadn’t wanted to be the one to say it and I had hoped—foolishly—that Bean might piece things together on her own.
That she might already know but Bean was still looking at me with confusion and so I told the truth or at least a part of it.
“At the party,” I said quietly,
“Marco made me uncomfortable.”
Bean’s face changed instantly, the brightness in her face drained.
“How?” Bean asked.
I chose my words carefully.
“He crossed a line.”
Bean’s jaw tightened.
“What kind of line?”
“The kind you don’t cross when you’re in a relationship,” I said gently.
Bean didn’t speak, I didn’t move either. I just stared at the floor, my arms dropping slowly to my sides.
“I didn’t want to tell you,” I continued.
“Not because I don’t trust you or because I didn't think you'd believe me but because I didn’t want to be the reason you questioned something you care about.”
Bean let out a breath that sounded more like a laugh than anything else.
“You wouldn’t be.”
I tilted my head.
“Wouldn’t I?”
Bean shook my head, pacing a few steps away before turning back.
“I know how Marco is.”
That stopped me cold.
“You know?” I asked softly.
Bean’s mouth twisted into a sullen frown
“I’m not blind, Vanessa”
A hollow ache bloomed in my chest at the pain my friend was likely feeling right now.
“Then why are you still with him?”
Bean hesitated.
“Because I love him.” she murmured and I knew it was the simple honest truth. I pushed off the wall and took a step closer.
“Well you may love him but I don't think he loves you, you are not supposed to treat someone you love like that.” I said softly
“ Love shouldn't feel like that” I whispered and Bean shrugged, but my eyes were glassy now.
“Love isn’t supposed to feel like a lot of things. Doesn’t stop it from being real.” I reached out instinctively, taking Bean’s hand.
“You deserve better than someone who makes your friends feel unsafe. Better than someone who chases after your friends ” Bean squeezed my fingers back.
“I’m sorry,” I said quietly.
“If he made you uncomfortable. Truly.”
I shook my head.
“You don’t have to apologize for him.”
“Yes, I do,” Bean said.
“He’s my choice, unwise as it is. I should apologize for him “
I swallowed the words I wanted to say— I wasn't sure that it mattered what I said in that moment. This was my friend's path to walk and all I could do was remain standing at the finish line.
Instead, I said,
“ Danny saw what he did and so he played the hero.”
Bean looked up.
“I’m glad” I replied
Bean studied my face for a long moment.
“Did he touch you?”
Vanessa’s heart skipped as my mind went back to all the places that Danny had touched my that night.
“ Marco I mean” I clarified and I gulped
“No,” I lied smoothly.
Bean nodded slowly.
“Okay.”
Relief washed through me , followed immediately by guilt. I hated that I was lying to my best friend.
Bean smiled
“ Well I'm happy for you and Danny in whatever it is you guys are doing”
“ Thank you” I replied as I walked towards my bed.
“ Bean” I called out and Benedicta paused, turning to face her.
“I didn’t want to break you two up,” I said quietly.
“That’s not my place.”
Bean sighed.
“You could never.” After a moment, I spoke again.
“Hockey players don’t change.”
Bean’s lips curved into a sad smile.
“ I know they don't”
My mind went to my father, all the years of absence and broken promises.I was used to that kind of life.
“I’m not saying leave him today,” I continued.
“I’m saying don’t ignore what your gut is telling you.”
Bean’s eyes filled, but I didn’t let the tears fall.
“I hear you.”
We shared a look—heavy with unspoken understanding, as I walked towards my bedroom.
I hadn’t told Bean about the near kiss at the club, I told herself it was for the best.
Warnings were easy to give.
Heeding them was another thing entirely.