Jack walked into the kitchen and indeed, she was the one. Maybe she was here today to help her Mother with work as she usually did. But somehow, seeing her made him feel as though a workload of a thousand days had been on his shoulders. He cleared his throat and she turned from the oven she was checking, when she saw him, she tried to smile at him, but he knew so well this wasn’t the Clara he knew. He curled and uncurled his fist before he manned up and walked further into the kitchen for she was back to doing her work.
“Hey, Clara.” He found himself saying, even though they both knew this wasn’t the right way they used to greet each other after a long break. He still loved her, he realized. Still wanted her to be in his life but it seemed like clear was damn angry at him and that would be a huge job for him.
She hardly ever got angry, but when she did, it would be a year’s job to get a hold of her. Did she hear about the wedding already? He put his hand into his pocket so that while he apologized, she wouldn’t have to be seeing his wedding ring. She had busied herself with work, which he knew half of the work she didn’t even know what she was doing. “Clara, won’t you talk to me?” He spoke again, because if they stayed like this for the remaining of the whole day, that would be the least of her worries.
“What do you want me to say to you? Can you please leave? As you can see I have a lot of work on me and Mom isn’t here, so I'm the one in charge of everything for her.” She wasn’t even looking at him while she spoke, and Jack wondered what made her this furious. If it was the marriage thing, they could always work it out, couldn’t they? It wasn't so hard of a deal for her to be acting this way.
“Let’s talk for a few minutes,” she turned with fire in her eyes and he flashed her one of his charming expressions which he knew so well that she couldn't resist, “Please, Clara, just for some minutes and we can continue the conversation someday, okay?”
She sighed as her shoulders slumped in defeat. There was a door in the kitchen that lead to the small garden which Mom was so obsessed with. There were times she hosted a tea party and that was where she kept the guest so ‘they could see my flowers, Jack. Aren’t they beautiful?’ She told him when they were arranging the tables and chairs in the garden. “Let’s go to Mom’s garden.” That's what they call it. Not just a garden, everyone had to add it was her own and that always gave her pleasure if she heard.
She was the one that walked out first and after Jack took in a huge breath, he followed her and he found her standing, not even seated on one of the luxury chairs Mom had. He sighed, this was going to be hard, he wasn’t even done with convincing Anna yet for her to forgive him and now Clara was at the edge as well. He stood in front of her and when she turned to look at him, she had tears pooling the brink of her eyes. She tried to flick them back but her attempt only made it worse for her to do so.
“What do you want to tell me? Can you make it snappy because you can see that I have a lot of work.” She said in a hoarse voice that was amalgamated with tears and when Jack placed his hand on her shoulders, she took a step back, making his hands fall from her shoulder.
“I'm sorry, Clara.” He didn’t even know what he was apologizing for now, the wedding or something else he didn't know he had done?
She shook her head as she tried to clear off her tears but more kept on rushing down to her cheeks, “You don’t have to apologize, really. It’s okay, I shouldn’t have been clingy enough to think that just because I lost my phone you’d find a way of calling me to know whether I'm fine or not. I shouldn’t have even expected that from you.” She sighed and angrily wiped at her tears, evident that the last thing she wanted to do was cry in front of him, “I shouldn’t even feel bad when you didn't.”
He sighed, so she didn’t hear about the wedding yet? That was indeed calming because he could imagine what she would have done if she did hear about the wedding from someone else but not him. He took a step toward her and this time, she didn’t bulge, “I’m sorry, Clara. I've been so caught up and I kept on trying your line every day, but it wasn’t going through. I had no one to ask for your number, I couldn’t ask your Mother, you know? What else could I have done other than wait until you’re back.” His eyes held the sincerity his lips uttered, and she was just looking at him as though she wanted to believe what he had told her or not.
He knew she wouldn’t stay angry at him for so long, even though more tears were gushing down her cheeks which he didn’t know their reason for doing that. He had totally forgotten about the ring when used his thumb as he cleared her tears and when he was done, he held both of her hands, “Am I forgiven?” She looked down at their entwined hands. At first, the ends of her lips were moving up in an attempt to smile but the moment she saw the ring on his hand, she weakly released her hold on him and looked up with a frightened expression.
“You have a ring on your hand, Jack.” She pointed out, and that was when he knew it was over it. He had to talk to her about everything and it didn’t matter how much it will break her because she would be more broken if he didn’t explain things to her.
He gulped down a lump in his throat and nodded his head, “Yes, that’s why I've been so worried, and I need you to come.” He turned to look at the chairs because he knew she might lose her balance if she wasn't sitting, “Can we please sit down?” She was just shaking her head at him with her eyes bulged out as though a saucer and her tears now making a fountain of her cheeks.
“Tell me everything, whatever lie you’ve had cooked up in your mind. I've given you just five minutes, Jack.” She could feel the weight of her heart, the way her ribs were breathing heavily as though to let her know that there was an intruder in them. An agony too much to handle for them.
He sighed, “You need to calm down, Clara, I did this with the best intention of you in mind.” When he stared into her eyes, he could see both anger and pain amalgamating into the unknown emotion she felt, “I was fired from work and my license is being held for five years...” He hadn’t told her this because he didn’t want her to be so worried about him, but it seemed like this should be the only way out for him. “Dad said he couldn’t employ me in his company until I get married and I couldn’t say you were the woman I love, Clara. We just spoke about you and your Mother the night before; I couldn’t ruin that dream for you.” He prayed that she understood him because he didn’t know what he would do if she didn’t understand him.
“What do you mean...” She seemed to have soften, the anger she felt slowly subsiding and the edge of the betrayal she though was vanishing. She understood, but this was the hardest thing to accept than anything in her life. She understood what he meant and that he did it for her but out of all the things he could do for her, one was to get married? And to someone else other than her? She immediately shook her head; she didn’t even want him to explain because it will only hurt her more. “I understand you; I know what you mean. But if what you said is true, how did you find a woman that agreed to marry you in such a short notice, Jack? Unless you’ve been together with her for a while already.”
He knew that question would come, and that was why he had been bracing himself for it. He took a few steps toward her while he shook his head, “I know you’ll have to ask me this, Anna, but this is something I have no control over. Mom got a wife for me, and I already promised her that I'll accept whoever she got because the one I love was you and there was no chance we would have gotten married at the time.”
She gulped down what he assumed to the anger and pain she was feeling but still, her eyes showed what her lips failed to utter; she was heartbroken. Even though she knew what he did was right, she still couldn’t help being sad and angry about everything. “Who’s the lady you’ve gotten married to?” She realized that her concern was this, she wanted to know so that when she began to cajole herself, she would have the perfect picture of his wife in her head.
This time, he took another step toward her because he wanted to have her in his arms while he took her that, but she took a step back as she shook her head, “Don’t come anywhere near me, you can tell me everything from there.”
He sighed and his shoulders slumped in defeat, “Anna Brayden, that’s my wife.”
He saw the way her entire body system froze at the revelation of his wife’s name as though of all the women in the world, it was only Anna that was forbidden for him. She was both confused and in pain that she didn’t even know which emotion she should act up to. “Anna Brayden? And why is it that no one knows she’s married?” She wanted to know everything before she would have to make her next action.
“It was a silent wedding in a hospital garden, Mom urged that we got married before she was discharged because she knew I might change my mind about it. But the big wedding is currently being planned by our mothers, in a few weeks.” He had to tell her this because he didn’t want her to be gob smacked with pain when it was time for the big wedding.
“Okay,” she shrugged off her shoulders as though she didn’t care whether he got married to Anna Brayden or not, “That’s all, your time is up, and I need to get back to work.” She turned to leave but Jack held her wrist.
“Clara, you have to please understand me.” He was practically begging her, and from the cold look she had in her eyes, Jack knew the probability of her forgiving him now was very thin.
She took her hand off his and glared at him, “All this time, did I ever mention that I didn't understood you? Of course, I did, perfectly even. You got married to Anna Brayden while I was away and even if I was here with you in California, nothing would’ve made us a couple, right? That I've heard and fully understood and for the rest of the things, it’s left for me to think through and know what I should do. If you’ll please excuse me.” She maneuvered beside him without even looking at his face as she walked back to the kitchen.
Jack didn’t want this feeling of raw grief he was feeling in his heart, but at the same time he had no control over it. So, he slumped on the chair and palmed his face. He didn’t regret marrying Anna Brayden, but somehow, he was feeling utterly grievous that Clara had to be in pain.